Breastfeeding is making me miserable

[Houndsandbooks]

I have been breastfeeding my daughter for 2 weeks and it is making me miserable. I hate the limiting nature of it. I am unable to go anywhere and only I am responsible for feeding. My partner is fantastic and will give her a bottle of expressed milk at night whilst I try to sleep but all other feeds, burps etc are taking on average over an hour.
as for the promised oxytocin release, I haven’t felt any such thing. If anything my mental state takes a nose dive whenever she is at the breast.
I have spoken to my midwife and she has recommended introducing a formula feed at night but I really want to abandon breastfeeding and solely formula feed. I am also desperate to enjoy this time but the thought of 6 months minimum of this is filling me with dread.
any advice would be greatly appreciated

The cost of a mums mental health which is taking a nose dive due to breastfeeding is much more paramount than dressing up a child in fancy fucking clothes

I honestly despair at this breast is bed mob

You make up the formula in advance and leave it in the fridge before going to bed. I never cooled boiled water at 4am.

One of my DC was premature. His head was so small my breast smothered him however, I pumped and pumped til my breast mild dried up and after 6 weeks he went into formulae. He is fine no problems at all. It doesn’t matter if it’s physical or mental you can only do as much as you can and formulae is better than being miserable. Your baby will be fine. I advise you to set a deadline of day another 2 weeks and if you are still miserable let it go and enjoy your baby.

@niugboo actually I exclusively breastfed for 3 months and I see no difference in breastfeeding now compared to breastfeeds I did when exclusively feeding. My experience is that breastfeeding did not get easier or less hassle but was and is consistently painful so please explain to me how my experience would be different if I did more breastfeeds?

how also can you conclude breastfeeding is less hassle than formula feeding? Have you formula fed and if so why did you actively choose the option that you apparently find harder and more hassle?

So many typos I’m starving so distracted but I’m not cooking dinner tonight!

If you feel that way now its going to get worse. It gets harder the older they get.

Just stop. Bonding with your baby is the number one priority.

Ignore the pressure to continue from an element of posters. They’re zealots.

Stop. Formula feed. Share the load. Relax.

It’s all good, your baby will be happy whatever you do, and it’s entirely up to you.

@AnotherAnother1 i literally said I combi fed child 1 and exclusive fed child 2.

3 months is not longer term.

I don’t think it’s as easy as to say to OP oh just switch to formula. It needs to be her decision and it’s a big one if she really wanted to breastfeed. I think everyone has said both sides but in the end she needs to do what’s best for her and only she knows.
I really struggled first few weeks too and everyone was saying just stop but I didn’t want to just needed some support and to know it gets better which it did x

I breastfed my baby for 3 weeks and hated every minute. Decided one day that I was stopping and that was that. She has been thriving on formula. I expressed 3 times a day 4 oz each side, reducing by an Oz a session and then on the 5th day just stopped. No engorgement or mastitis. Good luck and do what is best for your own mental health.

The first few weeks are hard whichever way you feed to be honest. Once you hit a routine then it all seems a bit more manageable... except for growth spurts which suck either way!

I've done one kid mostly FF and one exclusively BF and overall found the BF experience simpler and more instinctive once I got the hang of it but every mum and every baby is so different you have to do what works for you.

Another bonus I found with BF was that after a few weeks I could roll over and feed the baby without even opening an eye. I know bed sharing isn't for everyone but I found I got more sleep that way than I had with DH doing some of the night feeds with DC1.

Good luck whichever route you choose OP!

Also, sod the Perfect Prep, Baby Brezzer all the way.

Feeling like you do I’d definitely stop… however before I would probably try mixed feeding as reducing the number of breast feeds might make you feel more positive about them and if it doesn’t then just quit altogether.

Do it OP. You have tried and you hate it. Your baby won’t care how it’s fed as ling as it is and this is a great chance for it to bond with both parents. Don’t think twice.

2 weeks was the hardest point for me, and although it’s important that you do what is best for you if it is things like the latch, or pain even, that you are struggling with you can access amazing help from La Lèche League or something they are called, as well as local midwives and health visitors. I always thought not to quit on a bad day and to see advice and support as much as necessary as I knew that as soon as I stopped I would regret it and I may never be able to restart. I’m 12 weeks down the line now with a baby with CMPA, and we still have some bad days but the good massively outweighs the bad for me. Especially with the cost of formula etc.
What is your support network like? My support network made all the difference, and just having people to speak to who “got it”. I would argue that going out and also the nights are much easier when breastfeeding as there is so much less prep involved. If you’re struggling with the nights then maybe safe co-sleeping could be something that helps if you did want to continue breast feeding.

ultimately the choice is yours and whatever works for you and your baby is what is best for you. Either way, you’re doing an amazing job mama x

I agree.

OP do what is best for you. I would say as others posters have that first few weeks are most definitely the hardest but it gets a lot easier for the majority of women.
But if it doesn't work for you then that's also fine it's your family and your body you get to decide nobody else!

If you are going to stop please speak to a bf support about how to do this so you don't risk mastitis going cold turkey when your 2 weeks in and your production is ramping up is not a good idea!

I don't care how people choose to feed their babies but the health benefits for mother and baby are well researched go read the studies for yourself.

I will start you off there is a few on reduction on childhood leukaemia risk for starters and reduction in breast cancer risk for mothers.

My exclusively breastfed baby had colic.
There's nothing wrong with formula feeding, I wish I had persisted in the earlier days as my DD had always refused a bottle. She's now 17mo and there's no end in sight to the breastfeeding!!

The first few weeks of a new baby are hard, it's incredibly intense, and can feel never ending. Right now it feels like breastfeeding is the issue, but do you honestly think it would be better if you stopped? You'll still be responsible for the baby, you'll still be limited to where you can go because you have a tiny baby that will still need a lot of your attention. Plus, if you switch to formula you'll then have to be more organised and make sure you've got bottles etc with you when you go out, or have to go home if you use it all up. Because, do you really want to go out and leave your baby? At 2 weeks postpartum? Being a new mum can be incredibly overwhelming, but it really does get easier, and aside from all the health issues that go with formula, breastfeeding actually makes your life easier because there's no prep or transporting etc. You can go anywhere, you just need a few nappies and you have everything you need.

I agree with so many others in that you can just stop if it's not making you happy. The midwife will never advise you as I believe they're not really meant to. I ended up pumping as DS refused to latch - even in the hospital I'd had to tell the midwife to give me a bottle for him and they actually told me they'd not have let me discharge if I hadn't because he wasn't feeding properly. After a week, I was done with it and told her I was refusing to pump anymore (I barely produced anything anyway) and FF.

Why did you choose to breastfeed in the first place? I assume those reasons are still valid? It gets a lot easier! And they do get ill less, and you almost certainly will lose more weight, and much faster.
I hated it with my first, HATED it. Dreaded every feed. Felt anxious in the run up to every feed. The 3 week mark was the worst. But somehow I persevered and by 3 months it was a total doddle. Baby number 4 now and breastfeeding comes as easy as brushing my teeth.

That said, theres nothing wrong with FF and I’m sure your baby will be fine either way! Congrats!

STOP!!!

stick a bottle in the baby’s mouth, guilt free!