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Parenting

How do people have more than one kid?

84 replies

Cleanqueennot · 25/01/2023 22:35

I ask this as I’ve always wanted two children. I have a 6 month old baby and love him dearly but my god he’s difficult! Will I ever get to a point where I want to have a second? Age isn’t on my side either so we need to start trying again in no longer than a year or so! Is it worth waiting until I feel I’m winning at parenting or is this something that never happens? Am I going to just have to decide whether to throw another child into the mix?

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Got2besoon · 25/01/2023 22:51

I only felt ready when DS was 18 months and started sleeping better and playing a bit more independently. He was very high needs tho!

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HarryBlaster · 25/01/2023 22:53

Mine got to 7 before I could think about it again 😂

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WandaWonder · 25/01/2023 22:55

I have a teenager, I don't know how others do it if it works for them great but I sure as heck couldn't do it

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4thonthe4th · 25/01/2023 22:55

I got pregnant with DC3 when DC2 was 11 months. DS1 was a good sleeper, ate well and had a good routine. Don’t think I’d of considered it otherwise. See where you’re at in a couple of months. After 6 months, when they hopefully sleep better after a day of food, things may not be so hard.

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Pinktruffle · 25/01/2023 22:56

I honestly don't know if you ever feel like you are winning at parenting. In some ways they get easier but in other ways they get harder. I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old. My eldest can now talk to me and tell me what he wants which makes life easier in many way.

I'm also older and didnt have long to think about it so just did ir, I knew I couldn't think about it for too long. I needed IVF for my first so assumed I would have difficulty conceiving again and was happy to leave it to the Gods, but I got pregnant first try which was a shock!

It can be really tough at times but i feel I have a better idea of what I'm doing now. Sleep deprivation is the hardest bit as my youngest wants to be held to sleep every night (opposite to my eldest), that bit is really really hard. Seeing the way my eldest is with his little brother does just fill me with love though, he dotes on him. I cant wait till they are older and can play together so whilst it is hard now, in a few years time I can see just how amazing it will be.

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4thonthe4th · 25/01/2023 22:56

I should probably point out I’m currently pregnant with DC4 so I’m probably not the best one to ask 😂 I do swear by routine though!

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GoAgainstNicki · 25/01/2023 22:57

This is a great question. I have 2 under 2 and I swear to you, everyday I think ‘why the hell would you have more than one child?!’ It just doesn’t make sense! One is so simple, I tell all my friends to just keep it at that lol

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Glitterstars · 25/01/2023 22:57

I felt ready when my first turned 2 so we started trying when she was 2 and half. Now have a 3 month old little boy and having 2 is a different ball game but I’m sure it will get easier like it did when I found having just 1 hard

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GoAgainstNicki · 25/01/2023 22:58

My kids both have an excellent sleeping pattern and are easily pleased during the day. I still wish I just had one though!

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Cleanqueennot · 25/01/2023 22:59

Got2besoon · 25/01/2023 22:51

I only felt ready when DS was 18 months and started sleeping better and playing a bit more independently. He was very high needs tho!

My 6 month old still wakes every 1-2 hours at night, fights naps during the day and I do have to pretty much entertain him all day otherwise he gets bored and shouts at me! I also have to go bed with him at night and if I try yo leave he wakes up and screams. think he might be high needs too haha.

If it gets easier at 18 months I will hang in there as that’s not too bad. Just another year to go!!!

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FriedasCarLoad · 25/01/2023 23:00

I had 2 under 2 - very hard work but it's much easier now they're a toddler and a preschooler since they play together so well.

I don't think I know any parents who've reached a point where they think they've cracked it, although many find it gets less exhausting as children progress through the first few years.

You never know how long conceiving number two might take anyway, especially as an older mother. I'm glad I just went for it, in spite of feeling I was already struggling a bit. I coped fine. And I got my much wanted second child, unlike a couple of friends who feel they left it perhaps a little too late and regret it.

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PrimrosesandPears · 25/01/2023 23:02

At 6m I was certain we’d never have another.
By 12m I wanted a second.
At 18m my husband did too.
So now we have 2, 2.5 year apart.

It’s bloody hard work and the first few months felt utterly relentless. But it’s also lots of fun and they really seem to love each other and to enjoy playing together.

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VivaVivaa · 25/01/2023 23:02

At 6 months PP I was looking up vasectomies for DH. DS is now approaching 3 and I’m pregnant again. DS was a very difficult, high needs baby but has been quite an easy toddler, which definitely swayed my decision. I’m still shitting it thoughGrin

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Got2besoon · 25/01/2023 23:08

@Cleanqueennot Yep, that all sounds familiar!
He only started sleeping through at 2, but we had longer stretches from 18 months.
Sleep is King.

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Heronswater · 25/01/2023 23:08

No idea. I have one.

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lifeissweet · 25/01/2023 23:13

My friend who had 6 said the easiest ones were the ones closest together. It is not twice the work, because you try and slot the second into the routine of the first and they entertain one another and can play together.

I have 2dcs, 6 years apart and it was like starting all over again always balancing the needs of two children at completely different stages of childhood.

I'm sure it was easier in some ways having one in school and a baby at home, but it is still difficult to find family activities they both want to do. 17 year old boys and 11 year old girls have little in common.

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Cleanqueennot · 25/01/2023 23:15

HarryBlaster · 25/01/2023 22:53

Mine got to 7 before I could think about it again 😂

@HarryBlaster Yikes! Don’t have the option of waiting 7 years at my age. Not sure I would want to wait that long anyway. I think I would start enjoying getting my life back and wouldn’t want to go through it all over again 😂

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avamiah · 25/01/2023 23:17

WandaWonder · 25/01/2023 22:55

I have a teenager, I don't know how others do it if it works for them great but I sure as heck couldn't do it

I am 100 percent with you on this .
My daughter is 13, and I love her dearly but she is hard work and can be horrendous at times 🫣.
She has a large family on her dads side and runs circles around them if I’m being honest and only has to ask for something and it appears .
The thought of having another child after my daughter made me have panic attacks and I never miss a pill .

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Cleanqueennot · 25/01/2023 23:17

4thonthe4th · 25/01/2023 22:55

I got pregnant with DC3 when DC2 was 11 months. DS1 was a good sleeper, ate well and had a good routine. Don’t think I’d of considered it otherwise. See where you’re at in a couple of months. After 6 months, when they hopefully sleep better after a day of food, things may not be so hard.

@4thonthe4th I’m not sure mine will ever be a good sleeper tbh. He’s only got worse and introducing food hasn’t seemed to help so far. Hopefully I’m wrong!

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Cleanqueennot · 25/01/2023 23:22

lifeissweet · 25/01/2023 23:13

My friend who had 6 said the easiest ones were the ones closest together. It is not twice the work, because you try and slot the second into the routine of the first and they entertain one another and can play together.

I have 2dcs, 6 years apart and it was like starting all over again always balancing the needs of two children at completely different stages of childhood.

I'm sure it was easier in some ways having one in school and a baby at home, but it is still difficult to find family activities they both want to do. 17 year old boys and 11 year old girls have little in common.

@lifeissweet yes, I see your point totally and it’s one of the reasons I don’t want to wait much more than 1 year to try again. If I wait until he’s in school I think I will feel like I’m doing it all over again. I would like them to play together and enjoy trips to theme parks etc.

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Cleanqueennot · 25/01/2023 23:25

avamiah · 25/01/2023 23:17

I am 100 percent with you on this .
My daughter is 13, and I love her dearly but she is hard work and can be horrendous at times 🫣.
She has a large family on her dads side and runs circles around them if I’m being honest and only has to ask for something and it appears .
The thought of having another child after my daughter made me have panic attacks and I never miss a pill .

Wow! That sounds intense. You made me laugh when you said about never missing a pill 😂 but panic attacks are no joke. Your daughter is obviously very loved and you’ve made the right decision for you x

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Happychappy12345 · 25/01/2023 23:43

Just curious, what's your age? As you mentioned about your age a lot of times

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Babyboomtastic · 25/01/2023 23:43

I'm not sure anyone feels like they are winning at parenting. Weirdly I did for the first year is my eldest's life, but then toddler years put pay to that 😂

Neither sleep through at 5&3, my husband is in with my eldest tonight and my 3yo is on a mattress on my floor tonight. But it's a step up from her waking upto 15 times a night from 6-18m 😦

I don't think personally it gets easier - the opposite tbh, but you become better at it, and life with a child becomes your new norm.

Having a second man's your are already an experienced an more skilled parent, and so a newborn doesn't take up as much of your time as it did the first time. By the time both are mobile (the but I find hardest with a 2u2 age gap) you are more experienced at juggling two children, so they kind of train your for the next challenge!

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avamiah · 25/01/2023 23:58

Just to add that I got pregnant at 36 ( first and only child ) my choice .

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wednesdayjones · 26/01/2023 00:34

'fights naps during the day and I do have to pretty much entertain him all day otherwise he gets bored and shouts at me!'

Are you me? Mine is 7 months old. We are never having a second. I really don't see the attraction. Nope. Nope nope.

Why do you want a second?

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