How do people have more than one kid?

[Cleanqueennot]

I ask this as I’ve always wanted two children. I have a 6 month old baby and love him dearly but my god he’s difficult! Will I ever get to a point where I want to have a second? Age isn’t on my side either so we need to start trying again in no longer than a year or so! Is it worth waiting until I feel I’m winning at parenting or is this something that never happens? Am I going to just have to decide whether to throw another child into the mix?

[LolaFerrari]

I couldn't and can't face the work of another child so 1 it is for me.

[pebbles3004]

@Cleanqueennot

My 6 month old still wakes every 1-2 hours at night, fights naps during the day and I do have to pretty much entertain him all day otherwise he gets bored and shouts at me! I also have to go bed with him at night and if I try yo leave he wakes up and screams. think he might be high needs too haha.

If it gets easier at 18 months I will hang in there as that’s not too bad. Just another year to go!!!

My little boy was highly demanding and I could not have had another while he was under 2 tbh. We're going to start trying again soon now that he's just turned 2 - and actually I'm glad it'll be at least 9-10 months at the very earliest until we have another, because i think if I was about to give birth now with my little one who has just gone 2 it would be HARD! So I'm hoping he does as much developing in the next 10 months as he has done in the last 10 months.

[TerfOnATrain]

DS was two before I could even think about it.

[steppemum]

I think babies are hard, especially if you are getting no sleep. So much of it requires input from you.

But at 18 months or 2, when they are chatting to you, it can be a really fun age. exhausting, but fun. I remember doing all sorts of stuff with my toddlers, baking cakes, making huge railway sets on the floor, etc. In some ways, no timetable, no school runs, can do what you like with the day.
The exhausting part is the sleep and th erelentless early mornings. But then you get an evening which is good.
Also having 2 at the similar stage eg toddlers, or pre-school, and then later, both in primary and so on, works well all through thier lives, as you sort of move up a stage as a family.

I found the hardest age was always from mobile to walking. So about 6/7 months crawling until about 18 months when up and walking and talking, and can understand and respond to you.

Mind you I have teens now. They are exhausting in a whole other way.
I cannot imagine how families do it with teens and toddlers in the same house!

[steppemum]

Oh I shoudl say I have 3: 2 -2.5 years between them.
Born when I was 35, 37 and 40.

[rampila]

2 under 2 - was hard for the first year, was a walking zombie for much of it. Would
Push them round the block in pram until they slept and the dash home and nap on the sofa, juggling oram with one arm to keep them asleep
Now they are older they are close and I love that. Into the same types of days out etc. it trying to suit needs of a teen and a baby...
hard work but it worked for me.
Now I don't think I could go back to parenting an infant - but when you're changing the nappies, getting up, making the bottles etc etc ... one more baby is easier

[BabyB2022]

I felt like this when my daughter was 6 months, I was only ready to think about it at 18mo and due my second in a couple of weeks and my daughter is 2.5. I'm pretty terrified how tough those first few months are going to be but also hoping I know more this time and also know that, despite it feeling long and tough when you're in the thick of it, it did also pass and we found everything got easier from 7/8 months.

[SwordToFlamethrower]

5.5 year gap for my second and 13.5 year gap for my third. In effect, my third is like having an only child.

[K37529]

20 months between my two, I would not recommend this age gap I found the first year so hard. It's great now that they're bigger and can play together though. I'm pregnant again and there will be 2.5 years between my youngest two. Really hoping this age gap will be easier 🙏

[atoxk]

Whatever you plan you can't predict how long it might take to get pregnant. There's no perfect age gap, and if you have your heart set on an age then your only going to be disappointed if it doesn't happen. It will be hard and amazing having a second.

[Blufelt]

I wanted more but my first was so hard that I decided against it. Never regretted it. Kids are like rolling the dice to see what you get, it turned out ok the first time but I might not be so lucky again. When I was pregnant I was worried sick that DD would come out looking like DH’s sister but thankfully she doesn’t.

[Youcancallmeirrelevant]

5 year age gap, and loving it. I see my friends with 2 under 2 or 2 under 3 and personally think they are mad. They are stressed beyond belief and exhausted with 2 kids that wake through the night. They are struggling with jealousy and getting older one to understand about baby's needs.

We couldn't afford 2lots of nursery costs at the same time, and i peronally wanted to be back at work a good length of time between mat leaves.

[wednesdayjones]

@Blufelt

I wanted more but my first was so hard that I decided against it. Never regretted it. Kids are like rolling the dice to see what you get, it turned out ok the first time but I might not be so lucky again. When I was pregnant I was worried sick that DD would come out looking like DH’s sister but thankfully she doesn’t.

What does your DH's sister look like? 🤣 and does DH and her look nothing alike?

[Blufelt]

@wednesdayjones

What does your DH's sister look like? 🤣 and does DH and her look nothing alike?

Nothing alike. DH looks like his Dad. SIL and MIL are identical and very unfortunate looking. I’m not the only one who worries about what sort of kid will pop out - my friend married a lovely man with a very small dick and was relieved to have a daughter who couldn’t inherit it!