How do people have more than one kid?

[Cleanqueennot]

I ask this as I’ve always wanted two children. I have a 6 month old baby and love him dearly but my god he’s difficult! Will I ever get to a point where I want to have a second? Age isn’t on my side either so we need to start trying again in no longer than a year or so! Is it worth waiting until I feel I’m winning at parenting or is this something that never happens? Am I going to just have to decide whether to throw another child into the mix?

[Blufelt]

@wednesdayjones

What does your DH's sister look like? 🤣 and does DH and her look nothing alike?

Nothing alike. DH looks like his Dad. SIL and MIL are identical and very unfortunate looking. I’m not the only one who worries about what sort of kid will pop out - my friend married a lovely man with a very small dick and was relieved to have a daughter who couldn’t inherit it!

[wednesdayjones]

@Blufelt

I wanted more but my first was so hard that I decided against it. Never regretted it. Kids are like rolling the dice to see what you get, it turned out ok the first time but I might not be so lucky again. When I was pregnant I was worried sick that DD would come out looking like DH’s sister but thankfully she doesn’t.

What does your DH's sister look like? 🤣 and does DH and her look nothing alike?

[Youcancallmeirrelevant]

5 year age gap, and loving it. I see my friends with 2 under 2 or 2 under 3 and personally think they are mad. They are stressed beyond belief and exhausted with 2 kids that wake through the night. They are struggling with jealousy and getting older one to understand about baby's needs.

We couldn't afford 2lots of nursery costs at the same time, and i peronally wanted to be back at work a good length of time between mat leaves.

[Blufelt]

I wanted more but my first was so hard that I decided against it. Never regretted it. Kids are like rolling the dice to see what you get, it turned out ok the first time but I might not be so lucky again. When I was pregnant I was worried sick that DD would come out looking like DH’s sister but thankfully she doesn’t.

[atoxk]

Whatever you plan you can't predict how long it might take to get pregnant. There's no perfect age gap, and if you have your heart set on an age then your only going to be disappointed if it doesn't happen. It will be hard and amazing having a second.

[K37529]

20 months between my two, I would not recommend this age gap I found the first year so hard. It's great now that they're bigger and can play together though. I'm pregnant again and there will be 2.5 years between my youngest two. Really hoping this age gap will be easier 🙏

[SwordToFlamethrower]

5.5 year gap for my second and 13.5 year gap for my third. In effect, my third is like having an only child.

[BabyB2022]

I felt like this when my daughter was 6 months, I was only ready to think about it at 18mo and due my second in a couple of weeks and my daughter is 2.5. I'm pretty terrified how tough those first few months are going to be but also hoping I know more this time and also know that, despite it feeling long and tough when you're in the thick of it, it did also pass and we found everything got easier from 7/8 months.

[rampila]

2 under 2 - was hard for the first year, was a walking zombie for much of it. Would
Push them round the block in pram until they slept and the dash home and nap on the sofa, juggling oram with one arm to keep them asleep
Now they are older they are close and I love that. Into the same types of days out etc. it trying to suit needs of a teen and a baby...
hard work but it worked for me.
Now I don't think I could go back to parenting an infant - but when you're changing the nappies, getting up, making the bottles etc etc ... one more baby is easier

[steppemum]

Oh I shoudl say I have 3: 2 -2.5 years between them.
Born when I was 35, 37 and 40.

[steppemum]

I think babies are hard, especially if you are getting no sleep. So much of it requires input from you.

But at 18 months or 2, when they are chatting to you, it can be a really fun age. exhausting, but fun. I remember doing all sorts of stuff with my toddlers, baking cakes, making huge railway sets on the floor, etc. In some ways, no timetable, no school runs, can do what you like with the day.
The exhausting part is the sleep and th erelentless early mornings. But then you get an evening which is good.
Also having 2 at the similar stage eg toddlers, or pre-school, and then later, both in primary and so on, works well all through thier lives, as you sort of move up a stage as a family.

I found the hardest age was always from mobile to walking. So about 6/7 months crawling until about 18 months when up and walking and talking, and can understand and respond to you.

Mind you I have teens now. They are exhausting in a whole other way.
I cannot imagine how families do it with teens and toddlers in the same house!

[TerfOnATrain]

DS was two before I could even think about it.

[pebbles3004]

@Cleanqueennot

My 6 month old still wakes every 1-2 hours at night, fights naps during the day and I do have to pretty much entertain him all day otherwise he gets bored and shouts at me! I also have to go bed with him at night and if I try yo leave he wakes up and screams. think he might be high needs too haha.

If it gets easier at 18 months I will hang in there as that’s not too bad. Just another year to go!!!

My little boy was highly demanding and I could not have had another while he was under 2 tbh. We're going to start trying again soon now that he's just turned 2 - and actually I'm glad it'll be at least 9-10 months at the very earliest until we have another, because i think if I was about to give birth now with my little one who has just gone 2 it would be HARD! So I'm hoping he does as much developing in the next 10 months as he has done in the last 10 months.

[LolaFerrari]

I couldn't and can't face the work of another child so 1 it is for me.

[Marlena1]

Ps I really second pp above about routine. We have a terrible bed time routine and it's the one thing I wish I could change. On the plus side, they entertain each other so much.

[Marlena1]

18 month gap for mine. I wanted a small gap as I didn't have any close in age siblings. I found the first few years tough but I think that's because DD2 was so hard😭If I'd had her first the gap would have been bigger! I was also 36 (my age was only mentioned once at 20 week scan and I was delighted to be called "young and healthy " one day by a consultant 😁)

[catsandkid]

Routines all the way for us! It meant we had a good sleeper (well, can't be wholly down to that, but it certainly helped a lot) and got good nights sleep.

We also waited until DS was 3.5 before trying. Had DS2 when DS1 was 4.5 and by that age DS1 was really not that hard work tbh. Now my two are 6 and 1.5 and its not too hard. Second baby felt easier anyway as i was so used to routines and not having my own time! I remember when I had DS1 I genuinely didn't know what the hell id done!

[Aria999]

This is why we have a 4 year gap, I couldn't face it!

[AnnieApple123]

Six months is still so very young. You may feel totally differently in a year.

[Soapnotshowergel]

We've got a three year gap and it's great, they get on well at the moment and DD1 was potty trained, in a bed etc when DD2 arrived. I've got a few friends with 2 under 2 or 2 under 18mo and it wasnt for me - I've got two friends who ended up with a late walking toddler and a newborn, I don't know how they managed. I had my two at 37 and 40.

Second just slotted in to family life really, the tiredness is hard but I found having nursery days for the eldest made all the difference so I could catch up on a nap and DH is really hands on so that's useful when we have to tag team a child each at the weekends.

[Tintackedsea]

I had three under four. It's really good when they can play together. During the lockdowns I felt really sorry for folk with just one because it was so much easier for my crew entertaining themselves. In the end we formed a bubble with the wee guy next door. His mam was going crazy trying to keep him busy!

[aSofaNearYou]

Honestly I felt the same but when my DD got to about 3 I just found the constant demands to play really exhausting and realised it would actually be easier for me long term (and more fun for her obviously) if she had another kid to play with - me and DP both spent most of our childhood's playing with our siblings. Now I'm waiting to find out if I left it too late for them to play together in the same way we did growing up, as there's four years between them rather than two.

[Shouldbesleeping8]

Motherhood was a shock to me but my first born was a difficult baby and wasn't the type of child who played with toy or independently - she wanted me all the time and it was exhausting. I had my DS when she was 5 and everything has changed for the better. Despite the age gap they do things together. Or even if they're doing separate things in the same room she's happy as she's not by herself. I've got so much more freedom now to do basic things like go to the toilet by myself or make a coffee! Life is really really busy but I wouldn't say it was 'harder'.

[Ineedcoffee2021]

dd is 13
i said from day she was born id never have another
people said id change my mind, MIL still thinks i will 🙄
never have
I wouldnt cope with 2 and dd was a so called 'easy' baby

[cucumberegg]

My first was a dream baby. Couldn't understand why anyone said parenting was hard. Ate well, slept well, happy little baby.

Got pregnant when my first was 5 month old. What could go wrong...oh lord, my second is an absolute psychopath. Hated sleep, hated milk, permanently whined for the first 18 month. If I'd had him first I sure as hell would have never even considered a second. They're 2 and 3 now and they're easier but they're far from easy. 0/10. Wouldn't recommend.