Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

How can I shower? So miserable

124 replies

gapsain · 05/01/2023 20:22

Just that. I’m alone 90% of the day, often over 24 hours due to dps work. Even when he’s back it’s not always feasible to shower.

Dc currently in a crying phase at 8 weeks and I have been trying to have a shower all day. Do I just leave them to cry? It was the same yesterday and so on… I’ve managed to jump in for two minutes but haven’t washed my hair or shaved etc in days. I’m miserable and don’t know what to do. I know the moment I get in a few seconds later there’s crying

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

gapsain · 05/01/2023 20:23

i also mentioned it to the health visitor and all she could say was that I shouldn’t even be leaving them in a different room! I despair.

OP posts:

ChocChipOwl · 05/01/2023 20:24

Yes. Pop in cot or other safe place and have a proper shower. No baby was ever harmed from having a shout whilst their poor mother got washed!

milkymeg · 05/01/2023 20:24

Bring baby into the bathroom in a bouncy chair/ lie on changing mat and take a shower. I'm not an advocate of cry it out but ten minutes won't hurt them as much as you're being tortured by needing a wash. It gets easier, promise x

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

rainbowhairchalk · 05/01/2023 20:24

I used to put mine in a bouncy chair type thing in the bathroom, strapped in and completely safe. They might not cry if they can see you? I'm sorry it's hard right now, it does get better, I promise!

Batbatbatty · 05/01/2023 20:25

Playmat/bouncer/carry cot on the bathroom floor, maybe just after feeding so DC is in a relatively good mood (!). Just get on with it, you need to shower for your own health, hygiene and sanity!
If DC cries for a few mins then so be it.

theswoot · 05/01/2023 20:25

Can you put them in a chair in the bathroom with you while you shower? Even if they cry, at least they might be able to see you and you can talk to them. You’ve got to be able to shower my love. Take care.

WimpoleHat · 05/01/2023 20:25

Agree - bouncy chair in the bathroom and enjoy a decent wash!

TheHauntedPencilCase · 05/01/2023 20:25

I did a mix of taking baby in with me which was slippery and probably a risk but otherwise left him in a bouncy chair right in front of the shower which was the only option to wash my hair. He screamed the entire time and I didn't shower daily but it got me clean when needed. Didn't bother with shaving though if I'm honest just washing my hair which was long and thick so it took a good 15 mins.

Supertayto · 05/01/2023 20:26

Oh OP, we’ve all been there and it’s bloody hard. After they’ve slept and had a feed in the morning when they’re probably in slightly better spirits, pop them in something safe (pram, moses, etc) in the bathroom with you and have a shower. If they cry, it’s not nice but they will be ok. For the sake of your mental health you need to be clean and comfortable. Try and make it a priority. Good luck.

MassiveSalad22 · 05/01/2023 20:26

Cot and cry
Bouncer in bathroom
While the baby is asleep

BeckyBoo16 · 05/01/2023 20:26

Do you have a bouncy chair? I used to (still do if he’s being extra clingy) put DS in his bouncer and he’d happily just sit and watch me shower.

Also your baby would be okay left in the cot while you showered - yes they would cry but in a safe space and if it’s only for a 10 min shower it would be fine

QforCucumber · 05/01/2023 20:26

On the floor on playmat or towel on change mat in the bathroom with you - usually the sound of the shower and being able to see me would send mine to sleep and I could stand there for 15 mins reflecting on my life choices 🤦🏽‍♀️

EweCee · 05/01/2023 20:26

Yup, strapped in bouncy chair in bathroom whilst you enjoy a hot shower! If they cry for a few minutes, so be it.

watchfulwishes · 05/01/2023 20:26

Car seat or mat in the bathroom, in and out in three minutes.

I wouldn't have left them in a different room, myself, at that age unless asleep.

rainingcats · 05/01/2023 20:26

Can you take your little one in the bathroom with you? Mine used to like the sound of the shower I didn’t have a bouncer so just lied them down on a playmat.

LindorDoubleChoc · 05/01/2023 20:26

You don't need to shave, just get clean. Bring baby into the bathroom with you in bouncy chair so they can see you. Or do it when he/she naps. Or do it when your dp is home and can hold baby.

BambiEll · 05/01/2023 20:26

Do you have a bouncer or play mat you can place in the bathroom with you?

Im still showering with the door open and in babies sight at 3 months old but as DD has got older the longer my showers have got.

TeddyBeans · 05/01/2023 20:27

I put DS in a bouncy chair and put him in the bathroom on more than one occasion. Putting them in the cot for 10 minutes while you shower is also completely acceptable. My midwife said at my appointment on Monday that if the crying is getting to you, put them in the cot so they're in a safe place and walk away to calm down so if that's acceptable then a shower definitely is!

Original poster

gapsain · 05/01/2023 20:27

Thanks. It’s a tiny shower so they’d have to be just outside within view but he hates the rocker so I don’t think it would help. I just feel horrendous hearing him cry when I’m just splashing about… I’m not particularly precious about him crying when I’m with him but I just feel awful when not in the room.

And I’ve read all this stuff about it impacting their attachment… that’s what really worries me.

thanks for the responses im going to go for it…

OP posts:

Margo34 · 05/01/2023 20:27

Bouncy chair in the bathroom opposite the shower cubicle so you're in sight. The noise of the running water is quite calming too, mine used to always fall asleep in the bouncy chair too 👍

Biscuitsneeded · 05/01/2023 20:28

Bouncy chair in bathroom positioned so they can see you. Even with a hairwash a shower won't be more than 10 - 15 mins, right? If they cry a bit they won't be permanently scarred, I promise!

DelurkingAJ · 05/01/2023 20:28

Another for both sympathy and saying use a bouncy chair. Poor DH once came home from work to find me in a just run bath in floods of tears as DS1 (safe in his Moses basket in the bathroom) had awoken the moment I’d got in and started yelling…luckily DH took over and I got my bath.

Skyeheather · 05/01/2023 20:29

Both of mine used to stop crying and fall asleep in the bouncy chair minutes after I turned the shower on. They must have found the sound soothing, sometimes I would get out of the shower and leave it running while I got dressed.

Same with the hairdryer, they'd stop crying when I switched it on.

DamnYerEyes · 05/01/2023 20:29

You poor love It’s pretty full on at that age.

I used to take DD in the bathroom with me, sit her in a baby chair and sing to her while I was showering. She loved it. Honestly for years she always came with me, I clearly started a thing. But needs must.

Hidingawaytoday · 05/01/2023 20:30

I put DD on a playmat in the bedroom while I showered in the ensuite - I kept the door open so I could see/hear her. Worked pretty well until she started moving!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5