How can I shower? So miserable

[gapsain]

Just that. I’m alone 90% of the day, often over 24 hours due to dps work. Even when he’s back it’s not always feasible to shower.

Dc currently in a crying phase at 8 weeks and I have been trying to have a shower all day. Do I just leave them to cry? It was the same yesterday and so on… I’ve managed to jump in for two minutes but haven’t washed my hair or shaved etc in days. I’m miserable and don’t know what to do. I know the moment I get in a few seconds later there’s crying

Mine would go in the lay down bath seat bed thing whilst I bathed. When showering I've used a bouncer, car seat etc. if you are particularly stressed and need to shower alone, like others have said just leave baby in cot. I've since bought a towel knee length type hoody, it's keep me warm and dries me whilst I'm rushing back to my baby to see to him, dripping wet, with long hair used to stress me out further. Now I can keep modest in front of other kids, killing two birds and all that.

The information on attachment needs to be taken in context. Ten minutes crying here and there while you have a shower will not cause any damage in the context of an otherwise present parent who engages with their baby.

DD has a very secure attachment to me. I’m a lone parent and from the outset would finish a shower or any little task I’d started if she started to cry rather than running to her straight away.

Does he sleep during the day ? Can you shower then ?

I’ve not read other comments. Bring the baby in the bathroom with you. I used a nest, but you could easily just put some towels on the floor. Wash your hair, you will feel better.

I used to pop mine in the car seat and carry them from bedroom where I got undressed to the bathroom. They could see me in the shower so I could chat to them. If they cried they cried but I needed to wash!!! Most of the time if they could see me and I was singing/chatting it was fine though and it doesn’t take too long to wash hair, shave legs etc.

good luck!

I’m sure mine liked the sounds of the shower! (Not the farting 😂)

Have you got a bouncer? Put them into the bouncer right infront of you so you can see them and vice Versa. Quick 5/10 min shower will do no harm so long as they’ve been fed and changed. You’ve got this.

Cot and cry. You must self care. An electronic mobile that plays music and projects for 10 minutes might help

I had a tiny bathroom so couldn't fit a bouncer in the bathroom.

As an alternative, you can get a water ring sling, that you can wear in a pool - or the shower!

I've used one where they've been ill and didn't have the heart to put them down. It's not a great solution as you can't fully wash yourself, but you can give yourself a bit of a freshen up and wash your hair, pits, bits etc. Go easy with the soap and make sure you have a grippy shower mat to reduce the risk of slipping.

OP if your baby is safe, and not likely to hurt themselves, then have a shower. If they cry, they're exercising their lungs.

Or can you shower the moment they fall asleep?Just strip off, shower and jump out again.

Don't forget- if you had 2 babies, there'd be times (nappy changing, getting feeds ready) when one would be screaming cos you're dealing with the other. Unless every twin you've ever met is scarred for life then I think a quick shower is ok

Ohh I remember this stage all too well. My daughter hated her bouncer at that age, and our bathroom is tiny so the pram couldn’t fit in, well it could but I wouldn’t be able to get in or out of the shower with it there lol. I used to park the pram in the open doorway and DD had a little mirror attached to the pram which she loved looking in at that stage, it was the only thing that would amuse her.

Feed, change nappy. Put on a loud stream of happy nursery rhymes
Put baby in bouncer, and sing along.

And by all means do feel free to stop and clap at the appropriate times

Put baby in a bouncy chair or even lie baby on a towel on the floor of the bathroom and have your shower.

It's ok to deal with your own needs.

First get a bouncy chair if you don't have one. Much more embracing and supportive than laying the on the floor.

Secondly, just let them cry while you do what you need to do. It won't be exactly relaxing, I grant you, but it won't kill them.

First babies get used to having their demands met instantly, but second babies have to learn to live with not always being immediately attended to. For example, you can't stop to feed / cuddle a crying baby when their older sibling needs you more, or you have to get to school on time; they just have to cry for a bit.

I try shower when hubby is home but the times I can't wait I either bring the bouncer up to the en suite - it's sits in the bedroom doorway and she can't see me properly but I'm so quick in there.
I never wash my hair I always save that for when I know I have more time around hubby. I top up with dry shampoo!

I sometimes run a bath and jump in with her ! It's a bit faffy but totally do able if I want to feel clean and have an express splash. We have a baby chair seat so she comes in with me. I just make sure I have my towell and change of clothes in the bathroom so I can get dry and changed before I grab her - works well when you've done it a couple of times

It does get easier as they get older but that's how I get through it

X

If your bathroom is quite warm, I'd put some fluffy towels down on the bathroom floor and let your baby go nappy-free for a bit. Most babies like this so you might get enough time for a proper shower and being able to see the baby will make you less worried.

I used to put mine in a bouncer or Moses basket in the bathroom where he could see me and have a shower. I did this with my eldest too when she was a baby. It was important to me to feel ok to be honest and to be able to get dressed and get out of the house. If he cries, he cries 🤷🏻‍♀️. You need to wash!

First babies get used to having their demands met instantly, but second babies have to learn to live with not always being immediately attended to. For example, you can't stop to feed / cuddle a crying baby when their older sibling needs you more, or you have to get to school on time; they just have to cry for a bit.

This is definitely true. Just imagine for a bit that your first baby is actually a second baby sharing you with yourself, and give yourself permission to meet your own needs. My second baby has to wait for lots of things and gets shoved all sorts of places so I can meet the needs of my older child.

I’d stick mine in the Sleepyhead thing on the bathroom floor or just outside the door. If they do cry, so what? It’s not going to be for long. They won’t be injured by it. Then I’d get out, dry, dressed and stick them in a sling while I dried my hair and put on some make up. They’d always been a bit unsettled around 10am for some reason so the sling and the hair dryer would send them to sleep. I did it every day for a time. And then I got straight out of the house because even though it was the height of Covid and there was nowhere to go, I felt fresh and accomplished and it kept my MH in check to go meander a supermarket or get a take out coffee.

DD didn’t like to sit in a bouncer for long so having her watch me shower wasn’t really an option but I just didn’t shower during the day. At 8 weeks there is plenty of time when your baby is asleep, shower then.

Unless you have an 8 week old that won’t sleep unless on you like me 😏 I don’t think it’s th

That simple sometimes * sorry posted too soon

I remember that stage (and agree it's worse when they can move!). I lay DS1 on a mat on the landing outside the shower room with the door open so he could see me and the steam from the shower set off the smoke alarm 😬 he didn't find it soothing!

It is hard though and not relaxing when you can hear them squawking. Could a friend or neighbour come and cuddle them whilst you shower in peace? Everyone loves snuggling a new baby!