Nursery worker tapped daughter

[TeaHotorCold]

Hi all

i want to know if i'm overreacting. When i picked up my toddler (16months) just now, the nursery worker was telling me about her day and said that she has started to be more confident, sometimes going up to other children and tapping their head. Which of course i was worried about but when she told me that, she basically demonstrated and tapped my DD's head! whilst i was carrying her. DD immediately just leant against my chest for a cuddle.

I WISHED i had said something then. I should have I know, i don't know why i didn't i think I was just shocked. Am i overreacting here? My husband says yes because she didn't mean to cause any harm. I am thinking of speaking to the nursery worker tomorrow morning but it just makes me upset that they actually think this is ok? I'm a FTM.

A tap like you would tap someone on the shoulder?

A gentle tap as a demonstration? If so you’re being ridiculous

Oh ffs

I'm a FTM.

You don't say... sorry but unless they smacked your DC round the head, you're being absolutely ridiculous.

Don't make a fool of yourself, OP. Let it go.

Tapped, as in colloquial for lightly hit? Or tap like a gentle tap?

If she hit your child absolutely kick up a massive fuss and make sure social services are involved.

If you mean lightly tapped then I'm struggling to see what the upset is about. Is your child ok?

Be glad you didn’t say anything then and there. You would have made yourself look ridiculous.

When you say "tap", I think most people would imagine a gentle pat.

As you didn't say hit, poke, slap, whack, bang or any other synonym that suggests some more force, I'm going to say YABU.

@tenbob no it wasn't like a tap on the shoulder. i could hear a sound like a thud.

Thanks for the other (very quick i must say) comments, the reason i posted is to know whether i'm overreacting or not. I would rather be ridiculous here than something actually happen

@pbdr more like lightly hit.

Wow what a way to ignore the fact your child is being told to quit doing a desirable action. Can’t handle home truths about your DD not being perfect so finding someone to blame for something else

Use it as an opportunity to tell your DD not to tap other kids on your head as she didn’t like it either!!

You are being rediculous

* undesirable action

Isn't this how kids learn not to do things to others that they wouldn't like done to them?

So the worker demonstrated what your child has started doing by tapping her in a similar way? You are thinking of complaining? You are being ridiculous and will make a fool of yourself. You also need to think about how this will work going forwards. The staff member has nothing to answer for here, but everyone in the nursery will think you are bonkers.

YABU. Don't mention it.

You are 100% over reacting and sound ridiculous.

I don't think you are over reacting. There was no need for her to demonstrate by tapping a 16 month old on the head. The child will not understand why and will not learn anything by this.

I don't think you're being ridiculous OP. None of us was there so we don't really know whether it was one way or the other. However, i would speak to management about their staffs way of handling them situations. If shes telling you your daughter is tapping children on the head in a negative way and then demonstrated it on your daughter then that is going to give your daughter mixed signals and isn't going to teach her right from wrong. Just speak to management about whats made you feel uncomfortable.

I actually don't think you are being unreasonable. I used to work in a nursery and I certainly would never have lightly hit a 16 month old to to demonstrate something like this. I would have demonstrated on myself - not a child.

Also, it's going to send a slightly confusing message (I know 16 months is very young!). But "lightly hitting" the child out of context isn't going to teach the child anything but confusion at best!

I agree with recent posters- I don't think you're being ridiculous. She's told you that she doesn't want your daughter tapping others and then does it to your daughter. Inappropriate if you ask me, though I would've wanted to respond in the moment and say something like, "ooo I dont think I'll tap her to show her that it's not nice, thanks". I don't believe in doing the undesirable behaviour to show babies/ children how it feels.

Wow, it's been a while since I've been on the site, but some of you are really pissy, lol

Op you saw how hard the tap was, so if to you it was uncalled for, have a chat with them about it. This child is only 16 months old. The way some of you have gone on, you'd think the kid was 9.

You are not overreacting - please know this. There was no need to demonstrate on your child and it will cause confusion for her.

There was no need for her to tap your wains head. If she was keen to demonstrate, she could have tapped herself.

🚨 PFB 🚨