Do you regret having kids?

[Helena1993]

Just wondering

I regret not having them younger. I was 35 with my first and it's too exhausting. I think being younger would have made it a bit easier to cope.

No. I only had one and am glad I did have him.

However I know I could have been content without any.

No regrets, however it is much harder than I had expected it to be and I get much less help. Possibly I’d have had them a couple of years younger also.

How old are you?

I’ve come to the conclusion that really bad parents and let’s face it there are plenty, don’t realise just how bad they are. They are the ones who should never have had kids and yet they carry on having more than one child. It’s the saying Ignorance is Biss. Those who don’t know much are unaware of how little they know.
Anyway these dreadful parents breed children who then have children and usually continue the cycle.They don’t know how to stop. This may sound cynical but due to my occupation I see it all the time.

I did regret it in the early days. My life changed so much more than I had anticipated and I didn't like the majority of the changes. In my sleep deprived fug, I struggled to see/believe that most of what had been lost would actually be available again and that these could be balanced with new positives.
The regrets passed as my life became more balanced and now I have no regrets. I totally empathise with those who do and for those for whom having children brought addition complications and changes

I wish I'd had mine younger too but dh just really didn't want to. He wishes he'd had them younger too now. I do get angry about it then remind myself how fortunate we are.
It's not the lack of energy or anything but just the time I have with them.
No regrets in having them at all. They are wonderful people.

No they're the best thing I ever did!
I'm by far not a perfect parent but I love the bones of my kids, no matter whats thrown my way I'll always have their back!

Do you?
If so how old are they?

‘Breed’ is certainly more than cynical @Penguinsaregreat , it’s really a revolting thing to say about human life.

I do not regret having children, although I don’t enjoy it all the time. I think I’ve always had an eye to the long game though and I know I want a family. I’m prepared to grit my teeth and get through the toddler years and hope that as D:REAM once said, things can only get better!

My DS is lovely but I do find toddlers somewhat exhausting.

No regrets at all. Best thing I ever did. BUT I do miss time to myself and freedom of not having such a big responsibility.

Not for a moment. It's not nearly as hard as everyone told me it would be, either.

To be perfectly honest, I think for the vast majority of women who regret having children, the issue is not the children themselves but the man they chose to have them with. All the people I know who regret their kids (also all the people who told me how excruciatingly hard it all is) are either in bad relationships or were left holding the baby.

I agree there's an age component too.

No. It’s really hard, much harder than I thought it would be and our lives are very different now to how it used to be, but I don’t regret it. I feel like I have a purpose now when I did t really before, and someone who I love unconditionally and who loves me. It’s a different type of love from a partner/husband and I would hate not to have that now. It makes all the difficult times worth it.

Yes I do. It has been a massive struggle for 19 years. XP is a narcissist and I suffered EA at his hands.

DC both have mental health issues, he’s turned them both against me over the last couple of years. I no longer see either of my children, it feels like they’re lost to me. I pay the full amount prescribed for both of them - one last year of apprenticeship and another second year of A levels. I live a frugal existence to do this. XP never paid me a penny for seven years. I was so relieved to be out of the relationship that I never asked him for money for our kids.

Just to add, it can all depend on the age of your kids. Someone with a very young baby may feel a little trapped at first when they're not used to having someone depending on them 24/7.
And there's no shame in that. It can go hand in hand with PND. Speaking from experience.
My kids are older now.
Young kids can be hard work.
It's worth the long haul though.

I’ve never regretted having them, they’re perfect. I regret wasting my years before having them, I would do a lot of things differently if I had my time over again but only if I could end up with exactly the same children.

I dont regret having children, but I certainly think I could have done a lot more with my life and been more comfortable if id have stuck to dogs and cats.

I did. Now that they're 6 and nearly 4, I don't think I do anymore.

Absolutely not. Can't imagine life without him now (he's only six months old).

I’m a parent via adoption (through choice, not infertility). It’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m amazed every day at how much I love my DC, sometimes the love I have for them feels almost overwhelming as it so all consuming. There isn’t a parent on this planet who loves their child more than I do and I’m so grateful to be their mum.

And some children are easier than others. I don’t think DS is a particularly difficult toddler but a lot of the advice on here just doesn’t work for us. It clearly does work for some people hence they give it.

Kinda I mean my life is not my own I've been someone's "mum" for over 20 years I deal with sen with illnesses with abusive exes who teach my son how to abuse so then I have damage to undo I need to work I cant work im at the mercy of a dla system and I'm tired really really FUCKING TIRED so while I don't regret my children the circumstances are fucking horrendous and I cannot enjoy them perhaps with a different partner a different life but right now? It's a struggle

And before everyone piles on with I chose my ex yes I did but he was a nice man lovely everyone agreed how nice he was even now he is charismatic charming loves his kids! Won't pay for them tells everyone he does and best of all he is believable! So I plod on

No never, it's been amazing to watch him grow and turn in to this little person with his own personality and sense of humour. I will be trying for another one early next year so definitely no regrets.

I think I'm very lucky with regards massive family support (first grandchild) and an extremely hands on husband. I also have a job that is quite flexible and was able to reduce my hours a bit after maternity leave. These things can make a big difference to how people cope with parenthood.

Not at all. But I only have one, and I know that I'm a much better parent to one than I could be to two.

And like pp said, I have a DH who is as much (if not more) hands on than I am. So plenty of opportunity for lie ins/time for our own interests which I find so important mentally.

I don't regret it in the slightest.

Prior to having my babies I would dream about having children every single day and it would totally consume my life and left me feeling unfulfilled. Fast forward to now having children, I feel so content not having that yearning feeling and I forget sometimes how negatively it impacted me and my life.

Yes it's challenging but I am happy and comfortable to know that I have done the right thing and I have finally got what I dreamed of.