Do you regret having kids?

[Helena1993]

Just wondering

I agree with this. I've always had time to myself, as has dh. I went out for evenings with friends when dc were babies as dh had no issues staying at home with them.
I've also been able to work part time and that makes a huge difference.
I would have struggled a lot working full time.

Nope, I have 2 and would love more but DH is 48 now we are in a good financial place and can give them a lovely upbringing.

I miss pregnancy, breastfeeding and the newborn smell so much

I agree totally. I thought the sleep deprivation and toddler tantrums were hard back in the day but this is next level. Really affects your mental health and anxiety. I hear you!

Not all all, BUT I feel increasingly anxious about their increasing independence, and the fact that one day they'll be too old for me to constantly look after smother them.

I regret it. The worry is too heavy.

Not yet although DD is 3 and I’m pregnant with DS1. Maybe I’ll give a different answer in 10 years!

But I do know that if I didn’t/couldn’t have kids, I would be very upset about that and wishing I could. So there was only one way to find out really.

No I don’t regret it at all but did it hard as I have ASD as do my dc so it can be a struggle

I also want to note that people forget that, like basically anything else in life, it’s what YOU make it and you don’t have to follow other people’s silly rules if you don’t want to.

You don’t need to break your back cosleeping and breastfeeding every moment of every day, you don’t need move house to send them to a better school, you don’t need to relocate somewhere you don’t like because ‘it’s better for the kids’. I feel like parents tie themselves up in unnecessary knots, over analysing their kid’s every negative experience and feeling the need to cushion every blow in life.

If we could just revert to 80s/90s parenting which came without all this neuroses I think it would be a lot more enjoyable.

But I do know that if I didn’t/couldn’t have kids, I would be very upset about that and wishing I could. So there was only one way to find out really.

This is the thing for me, it wouldn't matter what you said to me pre kids, there would have been no convincing me that not having kids was the right choice for me, so I would have been unhappy.

I hear you. I could happily walk out of the house and not return some days. I sailed through baby/toddler/primary age and genuinely loved being a mum and had a great relationship with my dc but my god the teenage years have nearly broken me and I feel like we've fallen apart as a family unit. So right now, when I look on child-free friends jet-setting and carefree yes I do regret having children but hoping things will improve.

1000000% Yes

Your child is still an infant right?

one’s older. We decided (on a knife edge) to try for a second, and had twins. Toddlers now.

Absolutely no regrets! Currently snuggled under a blanket watching Stickman with my small person snuggled on my lap. 🥰

I also think (and I will get absolutely battered for saying this) late parenthood takes away some of the enjoyment. If you’ve spent 20 years living life on your own terms I can see how it becomes harder to adjust. And then by the time the kids are young adults the parents are in their 60s, maybe caring for very elderly parents themselves and nearly at the point of retirement. Plus the general issue of less energy, menopause etc. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel.

I absolutely love being a parent, my only regret is not getting help for and sooner (which is when I had regret). I really thought I wasn't good enough for the job. I sometimes wish I had've jumped in and had more, but I didn't want to risk it.

No, but it sort of felt like I did sometimes for about 9 months or so after I had DC1 as I had PND. I have two DCs, it's bloody hard work, and of course there are times when I'm exasperated and knackered and broke and me (and DH) wistfully think ahhh imagine what lovely things we'd be doing/spending our cash on now if we didn't have them... especially as we've had them fairly young, so our mates of similar age are mostly still living enjoyable lives focused on themselves and their own enjoyment (good for them obviously like!). But really no, I adore them , they were both planned, I'd possibly like another in a couple of years circumstances permitting (but sadly don't think they will, mostly financial).

No regrets at all. I have one dd11. She is amazing! The whole journey so far has been a joy (im preparing myself for the teenage years 😭). As I only have 1 I don't feel I've had to make too many sacrifices to my career, social life or hobbies. I would love to had at least one more but it never happened. However when I look around at friends and family with 2+ kids I feel that maybe this was meant to be for me. Their lives just revolve Around breaking up fights. I have a very lovely life and I'm very grateful.

Loved every minute of it. Now have lovely grandchildren as well, can't imagine life without them.

I don't regret having kids at all. I agree with this however - I am divorced and found it hard when married to someone who didn't pull their weight in family life. It is much easier now that I have balance and have some time to myself when they are with him.

None whatsoever although I lost my ex husband, their dad because of it - he decided he didn't want to parent after nearly 20 years together - after 3 kids!
But I wouldn't go back and trade any of them to have him back. I can't imagine life without them. I remember my childfree life and I know which one I prefer

Regret is a strong word. Early years were tough because of how things were with his dad. I don't regret him just some of my own choices. Ive worked really hard in therapy to work on my own shortcomings which has made me a better and more aware parent. However, I am one and done. I don't have it in me for any more sadly.

No. I really wanted kids, like a deep down longing. I feel happier than before, but my house is a mess.

I think it’s totally different for everyone and you shouldn’t have kids if you don’t really want them.

@Helena1993 I didn't realise how hard thing would turn out with, I didn't find it as hard in the early years.

I don’t regret it as such, however, I wish things had gone differently, I’ve not enjoyed being a single mum to a disabled child with autism and one with ADHD, it’s been a struggle and sometimes I really regret that I didn’t have a solid family unit so I had a “team member” or even someone just to take over sometimes. It’s so horrible to say but if I’d have know I’d have had children with special needs I might not have had any, if that makes sense? Because it’s not nice for them or for me, my DD with disabilities will never experience “normal” life, just a watered down version of it and that makes me sad.

Nope. Myself and DH had an amazing life pre DC and I sometimes find myself wistfully thinking back to those times…but never enough that I’d rather DC weren’t here. DC are healthy and we are financially and emotionally secure though - I think those things make such a difference to the parenting experience.