Would you put off conceiving to avoid a summer born child?

[Algor1thm]

We're ready to try for our second, but have realised that Aug-Nov conceptions lead to summer born babies. Summer born children statistically have worse academic outcomes than those born earlier in the school year. You can now request a deferral, but I gather this can be quite a difficult process with no guarantees. Our first is late autumn/early winter born and I'm very glad they will be closer to 5 when they start school.

However my husband doesn't want to wait until Dec/Jan to start trying as we're already looking at a fairly large age gap, and he pointed out we don't know how long it'll take us to conceive/we could experience pregnancy loss which would set us back etc. We're in our early-mid 30s so not old, but we are several years older than the last time we ttc, so I don't want to assume it'll be straightforward.

Particularly interested to hear from summer borns... do you think we should wait a few more months for the benefit of having an autumn rather than summer born child?

Sorry, that should read 'interested to hear from *parents of summer borns'!

I have 3DC, winter, summer and autumn. The autumn child was planned that way. The summer child struggled at school when she was little but is now at secondary and outperforming her older winter sibling. She's really blossomed over the last couple of years.

I'm late August, I was due in October! It really doesn't matter, so many other factors are more important than birth date

I'm July. I struggled with first 2 years of primary but soon caught up. I have a good job that I love now . About to do a masters

I deliberately timed TTC with both of my children to avoid June-September, having seen how much my younger sister (August) struggled throughout school. Landed one in October and one in January.

Absolutely! My daughter, October born is a high flyer..

Son is summer born - has massively struggled since starting school. Consistently a year behind.

I am one of 4. One of us born in each season. Myself (late summer) and my eldest sister (Christmas baby) did better academically all through school than my youngest sister (September) and brother (April). So from the sample size of my family. No I wouldnt bother.

Although PS if you want your child to succeed in junior sport, you want them to be born in January/Feburary! As most sports are by birth year not school year. Daughter was a gymnast born 2010 - had to compete against all other 2010 girls who had all been able to start gymnastics a year earlier ( you can only start on squads when you start school) Girls born in Jan/Feb always excel.

I'm a teacher, I have two january babies which worked out better for me maternity wise!

As a teacher summer born children can struggle however i wouldnt say its a given at all! And if I have a third (which would be a surprise as not planning!) if they were summer born I wouldn't keep them behind.

I'm a may baby but was premature and was due in august! Always did very well academically!

Hmm tough one. Personally no but if I was your age I think I’d be tempted to ‘skip’ November, as it were.

Bloody love having a summer born DD1- in fact I wish I had planned DD2 who is autumn better.
bday parties outside, less childcare- my eldest has a friend who is September born and has waited the entire last year to go to school (starts in September), she’s been so bored, all activities in the day are for toddlers and she’s practically 5. My child hasn’t lagged behind, she won the headmistress award for being a class role model- but even if she’d not been so successful I wouldn’t have cared, I’m not a competitive parent.

My son was born in July...he's the youngest in his class as I decided to send him a year early. I can assure you having a summer baby doesn't mean there gonna be less clever than any others. My son is top in Reading in his Sat's he got high...he is amazing at maths and is working above average for his age. So I think your mindset round this needs to change..also if your child is behind is that really a problem. Every child is different every child learns different. I don't think its matters when there born.

I deferred my 31st Aug born to the following year group, he has significant SEN and was born prematurely. My June born won't be deferring as they are ready for school.

I know isn’t what you asked but we’re in a similar situation and have decided to go for it.

even if waited until December there’s a risk of an early birth and I don’t want to wait until January.
Ive taken the view is rather a summer born, than waiting and it taking ages / not happening at all.

You're thinking about it way too much. Just get on with what you want to do, when your child arrives you won't care what month they're born. For what it's worth, a summer born is financially very advantageous in terms of nursery costs!

I presume this was prompted by the thread about the two mothers with summer born babies, one of whom was kept back a year and one of whom wasn't?

You're making massive assumptions about what you can and can't control here.

You can never guarantee that you can conceive at all, let alone to order. Your child could arrive 2 months early or a month late. They could have massive special needs, or you could have difficult family circumstances that impact on your or their mental or physical health or financial circumstances.

The biggest advantage comes from having parents who care about education, read to their child and support the school. Just start trying and if you are profoundly lucky enough to be able to have a second child, focus your efforts on supporting them to be the best they can be.

Most of my favourite people are summer babies and all did very well at school (Oxbridge etc) and are high fliers in various professional fields.

The only issue I had as a summer baby was ppl being on holiday for my birthday parties!

I could have planned timings as conceived all dc on first try however you don't know that will be the case & babies can be early etc. Plus a big downside is being heaving pregnant in the summer heat.

It's also worth remembering that your next child will have an older sibling and generally live in an "older" house. This often means subsequent children are more mature so the summer factor is less apparent. Summer born also means one less school year between your children.

I'm a spring baby my summer siblings are academically stronger & my winter dc struggles the most vs my spring ones.

agree spring/early summer is best for birthdays

Who’s to say you won’t deliver earlier than expected? Are you also going to try to avoid Christmas and January? Lucky you to be so confident in your fertility!

It’s nice having your birthday at the opposite end of the calendar than Christmas and being more confident of good weather.

You can review the child you have and decide if you think a deferral is in their interests or not. Some are ready, in which case you’ve saved a load on childcare, some aren’t, in which case you have the option. My July born DS spent a lot of time in hospital when he was a baby and I thought we’d defer him but actually, I think he’ll be fine to start school just as I am finishing maternity leave with DS2 who is due in the next couple of weeks. He was IVF so we knew due date would be on the cusp and did think about delaying the transfer but in the end went ahead. The hospital asked when booking my induction if we wanted to try and cross the school year boundary. Weighing up all the risks with our particular situation we have booked the end of August and we’ll see what happens. If I think he’s not ready when the time comes then we’ll consider the deferral.

Probably the bigger factor is parental support at home and if you’re already thinking about this then chances are you’re going to be on it with your child and that will be protective.

I did the opposite as I have a January birthday as does DH which we think are awful. So we planned for our DS to have summer birthdays thinking it would take a few goes. Ended up with a late March and early June

My 4 are October, March, June and May birthdays. No difference academically, in fact my May born is probably the brightest.

I do remember my October born being frustrated in nursery and was ready for school long before she started

I sound as if I’m in a very similar position to you. I’m 33 and had my DS nearly 5 years ago, when I was 28. I’m currently 7m pregnant with number 2, due in October.

I’m also a teacher and although I can only base my decision on the evidence I have seen during my career, it made my mind up 100% that I would not try to conceive between August and November.

I was pregnant last year, due in December, and sadly miscarried; by the time I had recovered physically from the miscarriage, we were dangerously close to the August ‘deadline’ so we stopped trying and started again in January.