Would you put off conceiving to avoid a summer born child?

[Algor1thm]

We're ready to try for our second, but have realised that Aug-Nov conceptions lead to summer born babies. Summer born children statistically have worse academic outcomes than those born earlier in the school year. You can now request a deferral, but I gather this can be quite a difficult process with no guarantees. Our first is late autumn/early winter born and I'm very glad they will be closer to 5 when they start school.

However my husband doesn't want to wait until Dec/Jan to start trying as we're already looking at a fairly large age gap, and he pointed out we don't know how long it'll take us to conceive/we could experience pregnancy loss which would set us back etc. We're in our early-mid 30s so not old, but we are several years older than the last time we ttc, so I don't want to assume it'll be straightforward.

Particularly interested to hear from summer borns... do you think we should wait a few more months for the benefit of having an autumn rather than summer born child?

My experience of being a teacher with August babies:

I've had parents excuse a lack in ability to get dressed in a 10 year old as being an August baby thing.

I've had a class with 2 August birthdays, 1 was at the top of the class, the other had SEN and was at the bottom. This was much more to do with the SEN itself and home life wasn't great at supporting this particular need.

In a 13 year career teaching 7-11, it's only these that stand out as quite often I don't realise about when birthdays are as it hasn't been a factor with a lot of the learning.
Generally by year 3 it is not obvious who is an August baby and who isn't.

My own DS 2 is a late August baby due to start reception in September. I can see that things like dressing himself (socks) and wiping his bum after a poo I would prefer to have longer for him to practice with. But in all other aspects he's ready. It definitely has helped being a younger sibling as he copies DS1 a lot.

I also feel that I wish I had another year with him at home (having the luxury of working part time) as I was able to with DS1 being an October baby.

We cannot plan how our children will turn out just like planning the month to conceive isn't easy.

I have an august and may born
August one started school at just turned 4 , starting uni in a couple of weeks
Both were a little behind some peers first year or two but caught up and then in top sets
My ds best friend is early august and he never passed a single exam
My nephew is early sept and in Same year as my august born and they performed very similar in gcse

@Alloutatsea so during the first 4 years , until 8 . Then they catch up mostly do they not
Does it really matter if your child is top of the class at 6
I mean really do we only consider it a success to have an academic child
Many many people are not academic but do great in life, shame we base so much on whether someone got an A ot a C in life

@CoreyTaylorsbiggestfan in UK most sports like football , rugby , netball etc go by school year not birth year

I mean really do we only consider it a success to have an academic child

But it’s not about academics.

Summer Borns are more likely to be diagnosed with SEN, more likely to suffer from low self esteem and more likely to have mental health difficulties.

Peope keep focusing on the academic side of deferring children when actually that’s only a tiny part of it, and probably the least important one to a lot of parents.

God no, mine is summer born and aced it straight as and a first class honours degree.

kids fullfill their expectations.

My son is august born and completely and utterly fine(he was meant to be September), but he doesn't struggle at all, I won't say he's 'top of the class' as lots do but he does well, he's either on target or excelling in everything 🤷🏻‍♀️

My eldest is august, youngest September. My eldest is more academic but my youngest is more confident. I am a summer baby and I got better exam results than my February and September born siblings so it doesn’t always mean summer borns will struggle. My ds was unplanned but with dd I was more bothered about not having a Christmas baby because I thought it would be rubbish to have a birthday on Xmas/New Years day

I haven’t read all the replies so sorry if someone has mentioned this. Of course there will be many success stories of summer kids who have done well (I am one myself). But statistically they do worse.

@Algor1thm

Summer born children statistically have worse academic outcomes than those born earlier in the school year.

That is a very sweeping statement.

Looks at my 31 July DD who just won the school Dud prize for academic attainment.

You're taking it for granted you can control when you can fall pregnant. Took us 2 years exactly to conceive our September born baby

As someone who had a baby 3 month premature… no, I really think trying to choose conception times is mad

My January born dc was ready a year or even 18months+ before she started school. My September born baby wasn’t at all ready. As you don’t know how long it will take you to get pregnant or what your dc will be like, I’d just start trying now.

My eldest is June. She got the highest GCSES in her whole school.
My middle is January, is happy in the middle.
My youngest is also June and is 'behind' but is happy and artistic.

Having a summer baby is lovely because of the long nights while feeding, out with the pram/sling in the day. Summer birthday parties!
January is miserable. Cold dark everyone is skint!

3 of my best friends are Summer-born...June, July and then right at the end of August. None struggled academically or were behind me (September born) and all have good jobs now, plus lovely Summer birthdays :). My DP's niece is also July and she is incredibly bright, and is way ahead academically of my Winter-born SD who is in the same school year.

It wouldn't bother me to have a Summer-born baby at all, I think it really tends to even out after the first couple of years at school.

I wouldn’t. Summer is a lovely time to have a baby and for the baby to have a birthday. School grades aren’t everything.
Teachers are very used to coping with summer norms and all assessments are adjusted for age.
The advantages/disadvantages are all evened out by secondary school so it makes no difference in the long term.

My early August baby is currently in med school. I'm late August and reading psychology with the OU.

Both DC (January and August) were in the top 5% at school and achieved top grades.

I think if a child is academic, they're academic, regardless of the month they're born in.

@DreamToNightmare and where can you back these claims
Maybe it doesn't help everyone saying summer born will achieve less
Since when has MH been down to what month you are born ?

@DreamToNightmare again why be diagnosed with sen because of a summer baby how does that impact
I mean technically both mine were briefly on sen register as at 6 they were a little behind goverment ridiculous targets but by 8 exceeded and removed from sen , is that what you mean?
I would really like to see recent gcse: a level results that show summer born fare so much worse , at the end of exams not at age 6 or 8 or 10 and also by how mich worse , 1/2 % 30% ??

@BlackbirdsSinging according to other posters somehow summer babies are more likely to have sen as well ? I don't get that and every child I know are all different some summer ones excel some don't and same can be said for autumn ones , my friend works in a sen school and I don't remember her saying the vast majority have summer birthdays
I wonder where people get all this things from

that should be school Dux prize lol🙈

No, I wouldn't. You have no idea how long it will take you to conceive. If it takes longer than a few months, will you take a break again. The difference in academic performance is statistically significant, but it still isn't significant in a practical sense. There are lots of other things that matter far more - genetics, family environment, and pure chance! My daughter is June and in those days didn't start school until Easter and not full time until after half term. There was a little bit of "catching up" to do (more socially than academically, and she was always bad at sport) but she's now a happy, confident 20 year old about to start her second year at Oxford.

I wouldn't worry about it. At all. You can't control how things will go.

More importantly, summer birthday parties are much nicer!

Yes. Like hell do I want to be massively pregnant/giving birth in a heatwave like we’ve had this year!

The key word in algorithm’s post was statistically. That’s not a sweeping statement, it’s an empirical observation.