HELP!!!! Child protection Plan after false allegations of DV

[mum2b2222]

I have another post regrading my partner who i am unable to have contact with as i accused him of DV. I know how serious DV is but not to make excuses I am heavily pregnant and had a moment of madness where i called the police and accused him of something that didnt happen.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/legal_matters/4578636-can-cps-police-charge-without-a-victim-statement

I had ICPC meeting today and although i have held my hands up and tried to explain that i wrongly accused him to punish him (not fair i know but i am being honest now) they have still decided to put my unborn on Child Protection Plan. OH is on bail so i cannot contact him and probably wont speak for few more weeks.

I was given the report from Social services in advance but i was never provided with the reports from midwife, police, school, health professional. I have now requested these as i want to appeal the CPP. I am more than happy to engage with theeir services but i really feel a CPP is unnecessary as unborn is planned and not at risk. No previous cases either side.

How do i appeal to reduce to Child in Need or for them to close the case as i have admitted to police also the reasons behind my allegations (childish i know but i have learnt from this)?

Also the decision for CPP seems like it was already made before the meeting because the midwife who i have met once for 5 mins (newly assigned to me) made a decision a CPP is best because of DV but she doesn't know the history and is basing her recommendation of a report from others.

There was no DV in our relationship and i am very ashamed that i said there was but punishing my unborn and OH for my mistakes is unfair.

any advice?

Sounds tricky. A lot of DV victims do withdraw their statements though, so I guess the worry is that it did happen but you've changed your mind about reporting it.

It’s not punishing your oh and your unborn baby, it’s a plan to keep your unborn baby safe. They won’t be able to tell when you are lying and if there is a risk of domestic violence, they need to keep the baby safe. Work with them and the plan should reduce to a child in need plan over time.

i've been told that CPP is more serious than CIN plan and i am worried the impact this will have in the long term on my family. Surely a CPP is extreme under the circumstances?

and any experiences on the procedure as i never recived the reports and have requested them now and i have beeen told they should have given them to me 48 hours before the meeting to review which they didnt. surely i can appeal the decision based on lack of preparation or something?

A CPP sounds appropriate in this case. One of two things have happened:

You're experiencing DV (so your child needs protecting)

Or

You're accusing your partner of a crime that he didn't do and your relationship seems full of drama (so your child needs protecting).

I'd wouldn't be arguing about paperwork, I'd be going out of my way to cooperate.

@areallthenameused Thanks for your input however our relationship IS NOT full of drama as you put it. This was an isolated incident where i became someone i am not.

This HAS NOT happened before and we have had a very good relationship until my outburst which i feel may be hormonally induced that day. So please read the facts before making such comments.

@freshbedsheets thanks for the advice hun. I am fortunate enough to be financially very stable and independent which they are aware of but they don't seem to be taking much notice.

This is all so stressful whilst pregnant and i wish i hadn't been so stupid that day.

They can only go on the claims you made. Either they're true or not, and they have no real way of being certain. Most people don't make those claims while they're pregnant. If they do, then they likely need some further support.

They aren’t punishing your baby though are they?

they’re making a note to keep an eye on it since you’re not presenting as super stable just now. Wether you made up the allegations or withdrew them out of fear you’ve given them reason to keep a bit of a closer eye on what happens next

to be fair pregnancy, birth and post birth hormones can send even pretty stable people over the edge especially if the combine with present or past trauma.

Don’t give yourself a hard time, it wasn’t ideal but it’s done now. Focus on yourself and your healing while you have the time because your life is about to not really be about you any more for a few years

They are not punishing your baby, they're trying to keep your baby safe.

Either there has been domestic violence and you're now covering it up like lots of other women do or you made a very serious allegation which does indicate that it isn't a stable home life.

I wouldn't appeal it, I would just do what they say, attend all meetings and live a calm, drama free life to show social services that you're a good parent.

Honestly, I think you could do with the help. I think your child will certainly need it.

So if you weren't a victim of domestic violence what steps have you taken to deal with your behaviour and mental health?

This - you need to co-operate at this point as this isn't going to go away just because you have told them you made the accusations up

Don’t work against them. Work with them. As much as you may not like the fact given the nature of the allegations (and the fact as many have mentioned what a lot of women will withdraw statements even when something has happened) then they will rightly be wanting to keep a close eye on the situation to ensure everyone is safe.

As others have said, they have a duty of care to your baby.

Do you have any idea how many women go on to deny abuse and then they or their child is hurt?

You cannot blame social services for not taking the risk.

You have to cooperate with them. It's as simple as that.

And having just read your other thread then it is very right they are stepping in to ensure the baby’s safety. I hope they are helping your other child too

If I was you I would be getting some therapy to try and figure out what went on in my head.

Unfortunately professionals' reports are often delivered late for CPP meetings. That alone can't be the basis for an appeal.

How soon are you due?

@JanglyBeads I'm due in September. Emotions are very up and down right. I know he won't be at scans and it's my fault. I can't feel any worse than I do.

I've read both your thread and 100% think a CPP is 100% warranted.

There is a risk to the baby no matter which version of events is accurate.

If you are a victim of DV, the child will be at risk.

If you are so volatile & unstable, that you falsely accuse someone of DV,the child will be at risk.

Either way, this is not a functional relationship given the severity of the incident.

I'm struggling to believe your story and am confident they have a lot more information to hand.

Cooperate with SS and SHOW them that your child does not need to be on a CPP. If they can see that your child (when born) doesn't need to be on a CPP they will be removed from it.
I think you should be thinking about getting some help for yourself too, what you accused your DP of is unforgivable in my eyes... he could end up missing out on so much of the start of his child's life due to your actions.

Op, you need to stop making posts.

Honestly I thought after the second or third thread you started that you clearly have control issues but knowing what the other thread says about your accusations then I honestly think you baby should be on a protection plan.

Social services and the police will think you are lying to protect him. And if you aren't lying to protect him, and you actually made such horrific accusations then you are clearly not of a balanced disposition and you need real serious help and support.

I'll tell you right now, your relationship is over. Nobody forgives and forgets that sort of thing. Your behaviour on Mumsnet is BIZARRE at best and your story constantly changing and if it's anything like this in real life then you absolutely 100% need social services involved.

@devonianBiatch are you sure YOU DO NOT NEED HELP?!

I joined Mumsnet today and have two posts as they are two separate questions so whichever posts your referring to have NOTHING to do with me.

Have you thought maybe someone else out there may have a similar not same situation they want advice on????