HELP!!!! Child protection Plan after false allegations of DV

[mum2b2222]

I have another post regrading my partner who i am unable to have contact with as i accused him of DV. I know how serious DV is but not to make excuses I am heavily pregnant and had a moment of madness where i called the police and accused him of something that didnt happen.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/legal_matters/4578636-can-cps-police-charge-without-a-victim-statement

I had ICPC meeting today and although i have held my hands up and tried to explain that i wrongly accused him to punish him (not fair i know but i am being honest now) they have still decided to put my unborn on Child Protection Plan. OH is on bail so i cannot contact him and probably wont speak for few more weeks.

I was given the report from Social services in advance but i was never provided with the reports from midwife, police, school, health professional. I have now requested these as i want to appeal the CPP. I am more than happy to engage with theeir services but i really feel a CPP is unnecessary as unborn is planned and not at risk. No previous cases either side.

How do i appeal to reduce to Child in Need or for them to close the case as i have admitted to police also the reasons behind my allegations (childish i know but i have learnt from this)?

Also the decision for CPP seems like it was already made before the meeting because the midwife who i have met once for 5 mins (newly assigned to me) made a decision a CPP is best because of DV but she doesn't know the history and is basing her recommendation of a report from others.

There was no DV in our relationship and i am very ashamed that i said there was but punishing my unborn and OH for my mistakes is unfair.

any advice?

I really hope you get the help you need before tubs get any further out of control for you.

@devonianBiatch just to be clear this post is not about WINNING my partner back. If he chooses not to forgive i can accept that and we can both move on and amicably co-parent.

I think the CPP is the right way to go. I think only someone who was unhinged would make an accusation like this, and then fabricate that he abused you on other occasions too.I think you need therapeutic help to work through why you did this. I would accept any help you've been offered.

He won't be able to Co parent from prison or if social services prevent contact.

I’ve just read your other thread as well. If this is true, then SS are absolutely right. Either you are the victim of domestic violence and you’re now retracting because you’re scared and trauma bonded, which statistically is most likely, or you’re seriously mentally unstable. I mean I’ve had moments of madness, but they tend to involve putting the keys in the fridge or losing my rag and throwing the tea in the bin, not accusing my amazing partner of incredibly serious crimes. I should bloody hope social services are keeping an eye on your baby.

that is if this is true though…

Does your midwife know about this incident? They can potentially refer you to a mental health specialist midwife team as it sounds like you need some additional help.

If he can manage to prove that you lied to the police, if that is in fact what happened, then you might not find yourself co parenting at all

The child protection plan is designed to protect the child, not punish them or you. I've read your other thread and whatever is going on either one or both of you are making decisions that are not with your unborn child's best interests at the centre. Social services and other involved parties are rightly concerned and are getting involved to keep the baby safe and offer the support needed to the parents to ensure this.
Don't fight it, if you choose to go down this route they will view it as it is, you refusing to engage with authorities to keep your baby safe. They may then have no option but to seek a court order regarding your baby. This is not scaremongering.
Do the best thing for all of you, most of all your baby, and engage with social services.

@smileandsing I'm engaging with and will fully engage with whilst appealing the decision. And will follow any courses they recommend but im just worried what impact a CPP has on unborn in adult life. There won't be any reason to be highlighted to social services again but it's just worrying

@devonianBiatch i would be interested to read those threads if you can find them because it certainly was not me but sounds like you think our threads are similar so I would be interested to have good read.

OP you have gone to great lengths to fabricate the DV to professionals inclusive of photograph/ being shown. As an expectant mother you have a duty of care to engage honestly and fully with professionals. You are proving that you are not stable enough to do so. Particularly for a child in need plan you
would need to have shown to have to capacity to do so. The baby cannot speak for itself to tell the truth to protect itself so is more vulnerable and at risk than an older child in the same set of circumstances. Therefore a CPP plan is a sound judgement where robust safeguarding can occur

I can assure you ,there will be no impact in adult life.

My son was on a child protection order when born , due to me being a ex addict ...the SW would come 3x a day, when ever she wanted and I had to allow access, after six weeks it was decided there was no need for the order, there were actual children in danger ( mine was not).. even though at many meetings SW, HV, DW , CPN etc all said no further action, they had to keep me on the list for the whole year, they just stopped visiting....

DS has never been lied to about this, he is now into adult hood and it hasn't impacted him one bit..

I never worried about being on the order simply because I knew I wasn't hiding anything... Work with them, they are there to help and support ..

The way they are ,and quite a few will is, no smoke without fire, you just don't suddenly make claims like that, and have evidence to back it up

Your baby is going to need all the help and support it can gets.

I wouldn't fight it, it won't end well for you.

You made a very serious allegation, one that could have huge implications and ruin lives and this was false. This in itself shows that you may not be stable and therefore a Child PP is entirely reasonable.

OP i agree with you entirely it is worrying how this will impact the unborn child in later life or early life. A great stress. The question is, whilst knowing this why did you continue with the lie, therein lies a major problem.

Well if you really did lie I hope he leaves and takes the dc with him

I agree with the above poster. These are the consequences of lying and making a serious allegation.
it will be hard for them to tell if you made a totally false allegation which in itself is not normal and very extreme behaviour, or if there was some truth to it but now you are regretting reporting it.

Exactly this. Appealing won't be in your best interest. I'd be bending over backwards to comply if I were you.
They have every right to be reasonably concerned about your child.

This is a multi-agency decision. You can disagree with it but it isn't going to change the outcome.
You need to work with the agencies currently involved with your family.
There isn't any way out of where you are now other than working with professionals.

I've read the other thread and if you've actually lied, it's disgusting. Showing the police psoriasis photos and saying it's where he's punched your head? That's psychotic.

Your baby absolutely should be on a protection plan, and you need serious help. Stop fighting them, they're absolutely correct to be involved.

Hello everyone, we just wanted to remind you that if you have any concerns about a poster or a thread to please simply report them to us at MNHQ.
Best wishes,
MNHQ

The problem is that YOU have made serious allegations against your partner. It's either the allegations are true and you are now retracting (which is common) or there are some other deep rooted issues here that may impact on your baby. A child protection plan is not to punish you or your child it's to keep them safe. A child protection plan is made when the child is suffering or likely to suffer significant harm. A child in need plan is where the child is unlikely to achieve or maintain standard health/development and is also entirely voluntary. From what you have posted your baby is at risk of significant harm.

You are right in that you should receive reports before the conference (although you won't get a copy of the police report and never do) but it doesn't sound like you have grounds for appeal imo.

I'd appreciate it if people stopped using the word "psychotic" to refer to the OP. There is no indication that she is experiencing psychosis.

Agree with this. Either way you have lied. Reporting serious issues like this relies on honesty. This seems more than lying in the heat of the moment. The reference (on whichever thread you read) to the psoriasis, black eye etc seems to have been captured to frame your partner when the moment arose seems calculated, which you have now used. I’m not surprised this has escalated so much. Hopefully your partner will now back away and realise how toxic you are. You can’t continue in a relationship with him and I feel so sorry for the child who is about to bear the brunt of this toxicity. I just hope both can recover without you in their lives. I’m sorry this is harsh but I don’t think you realise the effect your DV allegations gave in an innocent person who will struggle to prove a negative.