Partner wants me to contribute 50% while on mat leavr

[Sarahmumsie]

I feel so upset and feel like my partner is being so cheap

I’m on a decent wage and have a good maternity package which is 50% of my pay for a year. My partner and I are on the same salary when I’m at full pay so we’ve always kind of halved everything.

Given my pay has now been halved. When I asked my partner if I could pay less rent now (50/50 before) while on Mat leave it ended up turning into a huge argument. Eventually he now has agreed for me to pay a $100 less a fortnight (we pay $800 each before) so the difference feels like an insult and he was so angry at me for paying less.

I also pay for most of babies daily needs, nappies, wipes, etc because I’m with him 24/7 he pays barely any of the daily costs

Like WTF I feel like everything should just be shared now anyway but he wants to keep our own money. I just feel so upset at the situation, it makes me feel like I’m just not enough, like i don’t deserve the support I am providing for our family. I feel I deserve better

To be frank, I think that is usually the case when a man leaves most of the child expenses to the mother. They feel you wanted it, you pay for it. If you can manage on your own it's best to cut your losses.

Eeeek. Did you have any plans to get married? What would he have suggested money wise if you were married - would you keep it all separate still?? I don’t think he understands at all the commitment involved in your lives together… it’s a nasty surprise for you but I don’t really think you’ve realistically got a shared future. Is he even aware of his financial responsibility now you have a child- sounds not. I think you really need to consider going it alone and getting child support off him. Best of luck to you xxxx

I'd seriously reconsider your relationship. This isn't going to get any better. My friend's husband adopted this attitude whilst leaving my friend to do 100% of housework, cooking, caring for kids and buying the kids necessities.

Years later despite having matched him 50:50 his attitude is that he alone is the "provider" and that the house etc is all "his" as a result. In hindsight she should have left years ago as his attitude in hindsight was simply the the tip of the iceberg.

Also, I'm on mat leave, I was on 50% pay until week 16 only. My husband hasn't batted an eyelid, said not to worry about bills and has actually transferred me money. I'm not saying this to rub it in, but in my opinion we're a team and working to a common goal.

Your boyfriend is trash, plan for lone parenthood, never accept such a low quality male in to your life again.

A friend of mine's partner insisted they pay in proportion to earnings and assets were also owned in that proportion. He had a company car which was used as the family car and she had to transfer him her proportion of the tax that he paid for it.
I always thought it was a bit mean and transactional but to his credit he calculated all her maternity related financial losses and transferred half the sum to her bank account without even mentioning it in advance. It was about £35,000 I believe.

So, alongside what others are saying, yes, you can continue to be 50/50 but he should expect to bear 50% of the cost as well. Currently you are bearing 100% of the cost of the child.

Work out all the costs, draw up a schedule and that's the financial basis you will be working with.

He is exploiting you.

For comparison, I’m currently on maternity leave and my partner transfers money into our joint account for mortgage/bills/groceries/baby purchases. I’m not receiving any salary anymore so he transfers money to my personal account for me to spend myself, and regularly asks me if I’m ok for money so I don’t need to ask him for more.

As others have said your partner is being selfish and certainly isn’t treating you fairly 💐

It seems he has no idea what iteans to have a child....like my ex. He expects things to carry on as normal because "his mother had a million babies and carried on the same"