Naps - do you let them rule your life?

[Cm17]

FTM, Lo is 18 months old has 1 nap a day and when we are home they are pretty consistent.
She does go to a childminder full time and has a nap during the day there.

However i feel like I let nap time over rule our weekends together as a family and plan things around being home for naps like visiting parents/popping to the shops/soft play etc

Swimming is a big one for me, we took her swimming for the first time when she was 5 months old and she loved it straight away! We took her every week but since we've both been back at work she has only been maybe twice due the swim times falling on her nap time.

Now that summertime is approaching and we both work full time, I want weekends to be about us getting out and doing things as a family, especially now she understands alot more things.

I know its probably me overthinking it more than i need to but how do/did you work things around nap time?

being 18 months old now would you just do the things you want to do with your lo and let them nap when it happens around it?

Yes. If she's tired she can nap in her buggy or the car. Skipping a nap won't hurt her. It's more important to have family time together
Mine stopped their naps at about that age anyway.

We generally did make sure that we were at home over lunchtime for the nap when DC were small, except on special occasions. They slept so well at home so we valued the down time and yes it does restrict you, but it's not forever.

Pram naps once or twice over a weekend will be absolutely fine. If you ever have two, their naps have to fit in with other family activities anyway!

At that age we valued the nap at home as we could chill out in peace and dc slept 2-3 hours. We went swimming (or did other activities) in the morning or late in afternoon. If we were travelling to see family (an hour away) we'd try and plan it so that dc had a nap in the car. If that couldn't happen we just rolled with it!

My two were never put in their cot to nap during the day. It just didn't work with working part time and collecting from my mum or nursery and then with the second having to do school runs etc.

they just napped in the pram, in the car, in my arms etc wherever we were and whenever it suited them.

I found that holidays and weekends were much more peaceful when we worked around the naps rather than fighting them.

Working round naps made for better days. Sometimes that meant being home for lunch, sometimes that meant pram naps. Whatever we did though those naps had to happen.

I just did whatever I needed to do. I'd tried to keep the same naptime roughly but I wasn't strict on it. I definitely wasn't rearranging my schedule for my kids sleep times. I just let them adapt to whatever I was doing to a degree.

Naps were sacred with my eldest as he was such a rotten sleeper generally that those two hours of precious peace in the middle of the day were like gold to me and he didn't stay asleep in prams if they stopped so I worked around them. When number 2 came along he was 3 and although he napped after nursery it was easier to manage - I used to do morning activities then lunch and nap and something like a park visit or feeding ducks in the afternoon. I was always envious of those kids who would just sleep anywhere but he wasn't one of them and my need for down time/a break trumped pretty much everything else.

no and it’s bizarre to me that people do this, it never entered my head! I just did what I needed to and wanted to, and the kids just slotted in with it!

I think it depends a lot on what kind of baby you have. DD was a very easygoing and happy baby who slept well generally so I wasn't that bothered about strict nap times and never arranged stuff around them particularly, although naturally I think baby classes and stuff often tend to fall either side and we were more often home over lunchtime anyway after being out in the morning or going out in the afternoon, but if we were out she would nap in car/pram when she needed to mostly. Second babies too have to just fit in a lot more - I am about to have DC2 and we won't have the luxury always of tailoring life to fit her nap times because I have stuff to do with DC1, so she'll have to come out and about with us.

But some babies really struggle and don't do well with a 'go with the flow' approach, and you'll probably know if that's your baby or not.

It's bizarre that people structure nap times? You can't think of a reason why people might find that suits them best based on the temperament and needs of their child? Ok then!

Depends on your child and you I think. Some won’t nap without a routine and then they get tired and stroppy by dinner so it can be a stressful afternoon. Others will sleep anywhere. My DS was the former and struggled to relax into a nap even when he really needed them, so I was home for his naps most of the time and enjoyed the peace. I wasn’t that bothered about going out and about when he was so little.

Do what works for you as a family and what works best to balance your individual needs. Next summer you probably won’t have to worry about this and will be wishing they still napped! :)

I think routine based, structured parenting is bizarre yeah. I’d have been utterly confused if someone ever said to me “I can’t do this because it’s Kevin’s nap time” or whatever. But then I don’t use routines for anything so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes. At 18 months old, that hour and a half of quiet time with my hands to myself was more important to me than pretty much anything else I could schedule in a random day, so for the vast majority of time, you could find me at home and DD in her cot between 12-2.

Now, she's coming up to 3, naps are hit and miss, but they still control our day as if she doesn't have one, there's no chance we're going out in the car after 3 pm. If I'm not getting a proper break in the day, she's not having a car nap and is going to bed early 😁

Pretty much let the naps rule our life. DD is exhausted by the time it gets to 12.30 naptime and couldn't possibly go without. A pram nap would be a possibility if we had plans that involved being out all day, but that doesn't really address the issue of eg. the swimming session being at 12pm. I just take the view that we'll have plenty of time for that stuff later on, and focus on finding stuff to do in the hours that we do have available. Also - really love those two baby-free hours in the middle of the day and I'll miss them when they're gone, so I view that as the silver lining of being a bit restricted in activities / timing.

Me too - except what I need and want to do is not have an overtired toddler screaming at me, therefore I put her in bed. And she slots in with it!

I think it's whatever works for you and your child. For me, I really (really) enjoy the two hour down time that a home nap provides so will try to factor it in if possible. My little one also really needs the nap and is a nightmare come 3pm if she doesn't get it, which has ruined a few 'nice days out' where we've thought we would push on without the nap for a family outing or something, so if we can't be home or don't want to be I still try to be having a decent walk or drive around nap time so I know she'll get a sleep. But I have some friends whose kids cope okay without the nap and so they'll just take it or leave it depending on what else they want to do, which works for their family.

mine never went to bed in the day - they slept but just wherever we were. In the sling, the stroller, the sofa, the car, on the rug…just different ways of doing it I guess. I don’t have set mealtimes or bedtimes either though!

@houseargh 🙌🏻 I so agree. I think some people with easy going kids just don't get that not everyone's kids are the same. My life would be a living hell from 3pm until bedtime if I skipped the nap!

I don’t think it’s about easy going kids all the time - all of my kids were high needs babies and all have adhd, so I’d never describe them as easy going. But I just never had routines so we just took it day by day! Never occurred to me to set schedules!

My youngest DC stopped napping entirely around 18 months.

With my eldest, we would try and schedule activities around naps to a certain degree. But if it was something we really wanted/needed to do, we just let him nap in the car/pram.

When you have more than one child, it is practically impossible to coordinate naps. If you actually want to leave the house at some point, you have to accept that someone is going to have to have a bad nap.

I agree with this. Especially at 18 months. I found that by 2 they were a lot more flexible on the time of the naps so it was a bit less restricting, but as pp said I valued the 2hour break and it meant they were much happier and chilled out when they were well rested so it worked for us.

Mine doesn’t sleep in the pram and hasn’t since about 13 months. If he sleeps in the car you have to keep driving which isn’t ideal given the price of petrol!

So while they don’t totally rule my life I do try to structure things so that he - and I! - get the downtime we both need.

I did sick to the naps as much as I could . Two main reasons for it

• if they missed their nap, both my dcs were cranky, hard to deal with and dc2 would just nit fall asleep in the evening. A nap in the pushchair or the car just wasn’t cutting it.
• i absolutely needed that nap during the day to have one hour for myself (SAHM). No way I wouod have coped Wo that break. So being sure they would carry in napping was essential to me.

Bottom line, it depend son the child and your circumstances. You might be blessed with a child that is rested after a nap in a car seat. They might even let you move them from the car to the house Wo waking up (mines ne et did that either!). In which case, there will be no issue. If your dc is like mines and can’t handle nit having their nap well… then you’ll have to make a choice. A nice time at the swimming pool and a difficult evening or an easier day with less tantrums and meltdowns but no swimming pool….