Naps - do you let them rule your life?

[Cm17]

FTM, Lo is 18 months old has 1 nap a day and when we are home they are pretty consistent.
She does go to a childminder full time and has a nap during the day there.

However i feel like I let nap time over rule our weekends together as a family and plan things around being home for naps like visiting parents/popping to the shops/soft play etc

Swimming is a big one for me, we took her swimming for the first time when she was 5 months old and she loved it straight away! We took her every week but since we've both been back at work she has only been maybe twice due the swim times falling on her nap time.

Now that summertime is approaching and we both work full time, I want weekends to be about us getting out and doing things as a family, especially now she understands alot more things.

I know its probably me overthinking it more than i need to but how do/did you work things around nap time?

being 18 months old now would you just do the things you want to do with your lo and let them nap when it happens around it?

I did. It isn't forever but it definitely helped in those early days, especially when I needed the downtime / time to myself

Also was a great excuse to use to get out of things I didn't fancy

We always make sure 2 year old DS has a nap, but it doesn’t have to be in the cot. For day trips, we’ll maybe go out first thing in the morning and aim to get somewhere for say 9 or 10am. We’ll then drive home at roughly 2pm so DS can sleep (hasn’t slept in pram since a newborn). Obviously it means we aren’t out for full days but quite frankly 4 or 5h somewhere new and exciting is enough for both me and my toddler! If it’s completely unavoidable (eg a wedding) then we would skip the nap, but that’s been few and far between thankfully!

My day revolves around the school drop off and pick ups. So DS2 just has to go along with it. If we want to do an activity we go out in the morning and get back around lunch time or weekends we will go out and he will sleep in the car. My day revolves around me sleeping for nightshift too so I guess we do prioritise naps but probably mine more than the baby! I feel like if I don't encourage naps he will start skipping them a bit and then I won't get a sleep before nights.

They literally just don’t. The world is too stimulating for them.
My DD is only 1 but would never “just drop anywhere” at least since she was a tiny newborn who slept most of the day.
If she falls asleep out and about it’s for 10 mins and she wakes up more tired and very grumpy.

Eye roll at all the judgy comments on here! Not every child naps happily on the go!

It’s so strange! I had the almost opposite experience, mine struggled in the bed but had no issues out and about. I used to have to take them in the car at night and carry them in the house at one point.

Babies are just little people and don’t all have the same personalities.

How does it even develop that a child won’t sleep in a pushchair?

Good grief, because every child is different maybe?

Maybe it’s nit parents teaching their child to only sleep in a cot.
But children teaching their parents what is working for them!

Some stuff you can teach a child, but others you just can’t.
To make it even harder, it won’t be the same from one child to the next 🤣🤣

Used to. Baby started nursery, gave up. Everyone happier since. No discernible worsening of night sleep, if anything better. Definitely won't stress so much if we have another!

I get that…I was curious how they just one day stop doing it! I was wondering if their parents had maybe put them in cots for the naps from birth or whether the kids just randomly decided not to sleep in a pushchair…

Lol that’s true about from one to the next.

And yet other children will manage to stay awake if they want to.

A friend of mine had a dd who never ever slept until they were back at home and she was in her cot. If they were out with friends and awake until 12.00am, this baby (talking about one that was less than 1yo there) would just stay awake.
Pushchair was just the same.

So no some children do NOT just fall asleep when they are tired.

Mine were the opposite, slept better out the house than at home!

I totally worked around the nap at that age. I have twins and then having that nap in their cots at the same time in the middle of the day was sacred!
We'd do stuff in the morning then home for nap then out again maybe after.

I didn't put mine in their cot to nap (I tried and they never slept). They would sleep out and about, sometimes I would sit in the car. Their nap wouldn't stop me making plans but I had some friends who were very rigid and that worked for them. DC 3 always seemed to fall asleep on the school run!

I've let naps rule the last 3 years of my life! I have a nearly 3 year old that doesn't nap anymore and 19 month old who naps for 1.5 hours in the afternoon. Having 2 so close together I found sticking to a routine was helpful in managing 2 under 1.5! However, I didn't do much for 2 years as my youngest was born in the pandemic and at one point they were having 6 naps between them so I became routine queen! Still to this day I will make sure we're home for youngest's nap and plan our day around it. Occasionally she will have it in the car if we're out and about but that's very rare. She likes her cot naps and I like my break! Plus they're both great night sleepers so I don't want to do anything that might change that (probs irrational I know). I'm totally looking forward to when she drops it though and we can get our days back, it's been a long 3 years!

My DD is 18 months and she decided to drop her nap a month ago. Woe is me.

I did and it was a bit restrictive but I have no regrets. Having a proper nap at an age when they still need to nap is in their best interests. It makes being around them much nicer because they aren’t grumpy and tired. Having an hour or so to myself was great. I just worked the day around it. Mine was a bit of a pandemic baby who was very used to cot naps and wouldn’t sleep in a pram. I honestly would only have made my life harder by not working around naps.

We do absolutely work around naps. Always have. DS is 2,5 now but still requires a nap around 12ish. Without it, his day is completely ruined as he would be overtired, cranky, not eating properly, and it would also leave its mark on the night time sleep. So the most important thing to me is making sure he is content by having his usual nap. At the most, if we are somewhere, or planning to go somewhere, we will plan a car journey for nap time so he can sleep on the way somewhere or on the way home etc.

Now that he is older, we can be flexible with it to an extent which is good, for example, his swimming is at 12pm on some days so on those days he will nap from 1.30-2.30 / 3ish and have a slightly later bed time. But yeah, generally plan around napping rather than dealing with an unruly, over tired toddler. Hardly fair on him or on any of us.

Obviously if he didn't require it, I wouldn't force him but in our case, it's pretty obvious he still needs to sleep.

I always felt that a nap on the go isn't nearly as restorative as a nap in their cots. So it's OK as an exception but not everyday. Mine both needed their naps at set times and their behaviour suffered if they didn't get it. We had two down at the same time everyday for a lunchtime nap no problem. Personally I can't think of anything worse than a 1am swim so I'd let my kids have their nap instead of dragging them to the pool during naptime.

We did/do but thats primarily because Dd won’t nap anywhere but her cot and if she doesn’t have a nap there will be a god almighty meltdown coming which will ruin the afternoon anyway.

@ForestFae - Would you want to sleep in a middle of a busy shopping centre or at a noisy playground?

Some kids can't switch off in a buggy and the older they get, the trickier it is. They get distracted, not comfortable etc. same as with adults! Some can sleep anywhere but some need the comfort of their own home, their own beds.

Just because they are little people, doesn't mean they can't have a preference and must do everything the way it conveniences the parents / caters!

DS would never nap anywhere other than his cot at that age so we were generally at home. Also, we used to like having a nap (or otherwise!) ourselves, lunch in peace, or binge watch something in that time. It was precious. We’d always make exceptions for occasional trip out, events, family dos etc.

He’s 3 now and rarely naps, and the days are looooooong. There’s plenty of time of days out!

whatever is right for you though, I would say.

Our DS is nearly 2 and I'm happy to be governed by his naps in the cot for as long as they last - knowing full well they probably won't last that much longer. That two hour break in the middle of the day is my happy hour, or at least my downtime. It's golden. We occasionally let him nap in the buggy if we have to be out over nap time- but he wakes up after 45 minutes and is grumpy mcgrumpface for the rest of the day and night and frankly life's too short
Of course, when they do drop the nap, the silver lining is getting to go out and about for whole days and feeling unconstrained by the routine, and that is lovely. Just...not quite as relaxing as two hours adult time!!