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Original poster

Naps - do you let them rule your life?

220 replies

Cm17 · 16/06/2022 14:46

FTM, Lo is 18 months old has 1 nap a day and when we are home they are pretty consistent.
She does go to a childminder full time and has a nap during the day there.

However i feel like I let nap time over rule our weekends together as a family and plan things around being home for naps like visiting parents/popping to the shops/soft play etc

Swimming is a big one for me, we took her swimming for the first time when she was 5 months old and she loved it straight away! We took her every week but since we've both been back at work she has only been maybe twice due the swim times falling on her nap time.

Now that summertime is approaching and we both work full time, I want weekends to be about us getting out and doing things as a family, especially now she understands alot more things.

I know its probably me overthinking it more than i need to but how do/did you work things around nap time?

being 18 months old now would you just do the things you want to do with your lo and let them nap when it happens around it?

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Italiandreams · 17/06/2022 10:44

Can I ask those who have more than one child, what they do when their child will only sleep in a cot? Not sure I agree that cot is best for all children. Great if it works but mine have all slept for a good amount of time in pram. Luckily mine will sleep on the go , sometimes it’s a challenge with older children’s activities, school runs etc

luxxlisbon · 17/06/2022 10:45

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 10:42

And it wasn’t rude when you said I force my children to follow suit no matter what? Funny how being rude only works one way isn’t it,

Show quote history

You literally said you did.
Being home for nap time would be “hell”, you do what you want, when you want and your children slot in, all these things are your own words? How is that rude? You literally said you do whatever you want and your kids have always fitted in to that, to the point that they just KO and drop down anywhere on the floor from tiredness.
But no, you’re “child led” I forgot…

HSKAT · 17/06/2022 10:46

I’m not saying it’s wrong. I just think it’s odd to socialise kids into a routine from the get go.if it works for you, crack on. I’d hate to be so restricted personally but if it doesn’t bother you, that’s fine.

You aren't restricted though.
Do you think everyone who puts their children down for a nap at home don't leave the house?

You literally said you do whatever you want and your kids have always fitted in to that, to the point that they just KO and drop down anywhere on the floor from tiredness.
But no, you’re child led I forgot

Child is dropping down from exhaustion it seems, a routine may help Wink

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OverCCCs · 17/06/2022 10:47

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 10:41

No, mn is just a bubble where if you go against the hive mind and dominant culture, people get defensive and weird about it. I understand other people think it’s best for them. That’s not what I’m saying here. I think that mindset is bizarre, and I’m entitled to think that.

Show quote history

Your exact words were “it never entered my head” and “I would have been utterly confused.” So, either you quite literally don’t have the capacity to comprehend (not a knock, not all people will. And those who don’t won’t necessarily be aware of what they are lacking, which I suspect may be the case here), or you’re intentionally being passive aggressive.

If it’s the latter, own it. If it’s the former, recognize that multiple people have told you on multiple threads that your posts come off as rude, so maybe you should consider changing how you word them, for the sake of letting everyone enjoy what is supposed to be a friendly discussion.

Cafeaulait27 · 17/06/2022 10:48

@ForestFae he’s 8 months so I can’t really get him involved with the washing up at the moment, but when he’s older and drops to one nap he will get involved with ‘helping’ with the house activities. At the moment it works out better to do it this way.

Paddingtonsmarmlade · 17/06/2022 10:51

Try it and see if it messes your child and routine up. Each child is different. Dc2 it wasn't a problem as long as the car ride home wasn't after 3/3:30 otherwise she'd sleep on the way home and then not go to bed, dc1 it didn't matter as long as a late nap was less than 30 minutes he'd still go to bed.

Oaktreelife · 17/06/2022 11:05

I prefer letting naps rule the day. When DC naps = down time! Also DC are happier with naps and structure so it's win win. If we go to a museum then we go in the morning so DC can nap on the journey home or we get home in time for nap.

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 12:22

OverCCCs · 17/06/2022 10:47

Your exact words were “it never entered my head” and “I would have been utterly confused.” So, either you quite literally don’t have the capacity to comprehend (not a knock, not all people will. And those who don’t won’t necessarily be aware of what they are lacking, which I suspect may be the case here), or you’re intentionally being passive aggressive.

If it’s the latter, own it. If it’s the former, recognize that multiple people have told you on multiple threads that your posts come off as rude, so maybe you should consider changing how you word them, for the sake of letting everyone enjoy what is supposed to be a friendly discussion.

Show quote history

It wouldn’t enter my head the way it wouldn’t enter my head to go to the grocery store in a football strip or paint my exterior walls lime green. I am obviously aware that these things are in the realms of possibility, but as I am not constantly considering every single possibility at all times, it would’ve caught me off guard. Does that explain it better? I don’t think that’s being rude or lacking capacity.

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 12:23

HSKAT · 17/06/2022 10:46

I’m not saying it’s wrong. I just think it’s odd to socialise kids into a routine from the get go.if it works for you, crack on. I’d hate to be so restricted personally but if it doesn’t bother you, that’s fine.

You aren't restricted though.
Do you think everyone who puts their children down for a nap at home don't leave the house?

You literally said you do whatever you want and your kids have always fitted in to that, to the point that they just KO and drop down anywhere on the floor from tiredness.
But no, you’re child led I forgot

Child is dropping down from exhaustion it seems, a routine may help Wink

Hey everyone, look! Someone’s making a passive aggressive and judgemental comment towards me - why haven’t you pulled them up in it? Seems it’s only when I say something that could be interpreted in a negative manner that people get offended. How odd.

Of course they leave the house, they’re restricted by when they can though. And my kids sleep fine, thanks. My kids sleep when it suits them, not when it’s convenient to me.

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 12:24

luxxlisbon · 17/06/2022 10:45

You literally said you did.
Being home for nap time would be “hell”, you do what you want, when you want and your children slot in, all these things are your own words? How is that rude? You literally said you do whatever you want and your kids have always fitted in to that, to the point that they just KO and drop down anywhere on the floor from tiredness.
But no, you’re “child led” I forgot…

Show quote history

How is it not child led to let my kids sleep when they want to? I don’t force my kids into an artificial structure to suit me. The kids are free to sleep when they need to

HSKAT · 17/06/2022 12:28

My kids sleep when it suits them, not when it’s convenient to me

This is what everyone is saying though.
Nap regardless if want to be home for them or not, it's at the child best interest not ours.

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 12:30

HSKAT · 17/06/2022 12:28

My kids sleep when it suits them, not when it’s convenient to me

This is what everyone is saying though.
Nap regardless if want to be home for them or not, it's at the child best interest not ours.

I just think it’s odd to socialise your kids to only nap in the cot. That’s all. I’m really glad mine napped everywhere and that they can sleep through almost any noise now - two share a bedroom so it’s very handy.

Echobelly · 17/06/2022 12:31

We got both of ours used to napping in car/buggy so we could work around it, and didn't have set times for naps. But luckily our kids took to that, not all kids would. I was a bit puzzled at the time by people who stuck rigidly to a schedule of naps that had to be at home, as it felt very limiting, but then I realised some kids will just not adapt to napping outside their room and in some cases a regulated naptime is better than an otherwise chaotic one, which could also be limiting.

HSKAT · 17/06/2022 12:32

Mine naps on the sofa, floor, in my bed, his cot. Anywhere at home, as long as he has that nap.
Whilst I would like him to sleep in his buggy etc he just can't.
Afternoons can be hellish if he wasn't to have his nap.

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 12:32

Also I should add no one I know in real life ever actually did scheduled naps. Which is partly why it would catch me off guard if I ever came across someone who did. It’s something I’ve only ever read about, never seen it happen - obviously it does happen it’s just not something I’ve experienced directly or indirectly.

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 12:34

HSKAT · 17/06/2022 12:32

Mine naps on the sofa, floor, in my bed, his cot. Anywhere at home, as long as he has that nap.
Whilst I would like him to sleep in his buggy etc he just can't.
Afternoons can be hellish if he wasn't to have his nap.

This is the first time I’ve ever thought I got lucky with my kids and sleep! They literally would sleep anywhere. The downside is they won’t “go to sleep” as people have described, never have, they just got angry if anyone tried to enforce a nap or similar.

Beees · 17/06/2022 12:42

This is the first time I’ve ever thought I got lucky with my kids and sleep! They literally would sleep anywhere. The downside is they won’t “go to sleep” as people have described, never have, they just got angry if anyone tried to enforce a nap or similar.

Im glad you feel lucky because truthfully it is down to luck it's absolutely nothing you've done to create this kind of child. You were just fortunate to have the type of child who would happily nap anywhere and fit into your routine. Not everyone is as lucky in getting such compliant children.

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 12:43

Beees · 17/06/2022 12:42

This is the first time I’ve ever thought I got lucky with my kids and sleep! They literally would sleep anywhere. The downside is they won’t “go to sleep” as people have described, never have, they just got angry if anyone tried to enforce a nap or similar.

Im glad you feel lucky because truthfully it is down to luck it's absolutely nothing you've done to create this kind of child. You were just fortunate to have the type of child who would happily nap anywhere and fit into your routine. Not everyone is as lucky in getting such compliant children.

It’s funny because they’re not what I’d describe as compliant in any other area! I’m very glad they were about this though.

Beees · 17/06/2022 12:47

It’s funny because they’re not what I’d describe as compliant in any other area! I’m very glad they were about this though.

I do wonder how you would have coped if you had a child who needed to nap in their cot at a set time though. Would you have just kept them awake to fit in with your day or would you have given in to the routine of napping at a set time in a cot at home?

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 12:48

Beees · 17/06/2022 12:47

It’s funny because they’re not what I’d describe as compliant in any other area! I’m very glad they were about this though.

I do wonder how you would have coped if you had a child who needed to nap in their cot at a set time though. Would you have just kept them awake to fit in with your day or would you have given in to the routine of napping at a set time in a cot at home?

No idea what I’d have done. We don’t have routines for anything here so it would’ve been incredibly difficult.

Beees · 17/06/2022 12:53

*No idea what I’d have done. We don’t have routines for anything here so it would’ve been incredibly difficult.'

Surely you would have done what everyone else who ended up with a child who would only nap at home in a cot when it's quiet does.

You would have tried it once out of desperation and found it worked, tried it again because it worked once and made life easier because the child wasn't overtired and then you would have become the very person you never wanted to be, because you realised like every other parent doing this that it worked for you child and at the end of the day their welfare was more important than your lack of spontaneity.

Trust me it's a tiny tiny almost nonexistent minority that start off with the intention of having to be home for their child to nap at a similar sort of time every day.

Abouttimemum · 17/06/2022 12:57

AliceW89 · 17/06/2022 09:15

Do the cot napping kids just accept being put in the cot? Do they not protest at all?

Yes he goes in happily and does not protest. To the extent he’ll ask for it to be ‘more dark’ if I’ve forgotten to put the blackout blind down.

Yea I just used to put him in his cot and he was asleep in about 2 minutes. Same with bedtime. Whereas I could drive around in the car for an hour or gone for a walk in his pushchair and he’d not go to sleep. Funny how they’re all different!

Abouttimemum · 17/06/2022 12:58

Beees · 17/06/2022 12:53

*No idea what I’d have done. We don’t have routines for anything here so it would’ve been incredibly difficult.'

Surely you would have done what everyone else who ended up with a child who would only nap at home in a cot when it's quiet does.

You would have tried it once out of desperation and found it worked, tried it again because it worked once and made life easier because the child wasn't overtired and then you would have become the very person you never wanted to be, because you realised like every other parent doing this that it worked for you child and at the end of the day their welfare was more important than your lack of spontaneity.

Trust me it's a tiny tiny almost nonexistent minority that start off with the intention of having to be home for their child to nap at a similar sort of time every day.

Oh I was more than happy to do it! Literally can’t think of anything else I’d rather have been doing than having some peace and quiet to myself 🤣

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 13:02

Beees · 17/06/2022 12:53

*No idea what I’d have done. We don’t have routines for anything here so it would’ve been incredibly difficult.'

Surely you would have done what everyone else who ended up with a child who would only nap at home in a cot when it's quiet does.

You would have tried it once out of desperation and found it worked, tried it again because it worked once and made life easier because the child wasn't overtired and then you would have become the very person you never wanted to be, because you realised like every other parent doing this that it worked for you child and at the end of the day their welfare was more important than your lack of spontaneity.

Trust me it's a tiny tiny almost nonexistent minority that start off with the intention of having to be home for their child to nap at a similar sort of time every day.

When I’ve seen it mentioned before it’s usually Gina Ford types who have decided on a routine before their baby is even born!

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/06/2022 13:08

I found baby naps very flexible, we did whatever we wanted for her first year and she’d crash out on us, the floor, the car, the sling. She’s 3 and has hour an hour or an hour a day after lunch and only in our bed in the dark. If we have stuff on with other people she skips it but she’s home with me during the week and naps nearly every day and at weekends she naps if we’re home.

They’re all different as are we. Having been very flexible in the baby phase things changed as she got older and it suits us fine.

She won’t nap forever, she’s stopped for a week or more twice, but we’ve had on/off illness and she’s back on it so I’m following her lead and she goes down well at bedtime so it’s obviously what she needs.