Naps - do you let them rule your life?

[Cm17]

FTM, Lo is 18 months old has 1 nap a day and when we are home they are pretty consistent.
She does go to a childminder full time and has a nap during the day there.

However i feel like I let nap time over rule our weekends together as a family and plan things around being home for naps like visiting parents/popping to the shops/soft play etc

Swimming is a big one for me, we took her swimming for the first time when she was 5 months old and she loved it straight away! We took her every week but since we've both been back at work she has only been maybe twice due the swim times falling on her nap time.

Now that summertime is approaching and we both work full time, I want weekends to be about us getting out and doing things as a family, especially now she understands alot more things.

I know its probably me overthinking it more than i need to but how do/did you work things around nap time?

being 18 months old now would you just do the things you want to do with your lo and let them nap when it happens around it?

If I was in a pushchair, maybe!

Of course, I just don’t know how they’d know to only nap in a cot if they’d never been given that option if you see what I mean. I never put any of mine in the cot for naps and never had this issue, maybe I just had kids that would’ve slept anywhere anyway but I wonder how many only sleep in the cot because that’s what they’re used to.

Of course, I just don’t know how they’d know to only nap in a cot if they’d never been given that option if you see what I mean. I never put any of mine in the cot for naps and never had this issue, maybe I just had kids that would’ve slept anywhere anyway but I wonder how many only sleep in the cot because that’s what they’re used to.

I'm not sure it's your intention but you're coming across as very high and mighty. My DS dropped naps very early but before then like a previous posters friends child he wouldn't sleep anywhere other than his cot. If I didn't put him in his cot he would never have napped and even then it wasn't garunteed. It's something that happened because I ran out of energy and options of trying to get him to nap anywhere but his cot.

Naps on the go worked for your children so you never had to resort to putting them in a cot. Trust me you wouldn't be so quick to judge if you had a child who wouldn't nap anywhere else. What are people meant to do, continue depriving their tiny baby of sleep just so they can smugly say their child doesn't nap in a cot?

I guess I'm lucky that my baby will sleep anywhere but I try to have him sleep in his cot wherever possible, his nap time is my time to chill out and do whatever I want to do at home. I'd rather not be out running errands or in the car while he's napping. I'll sing and pull silly faces etc to try keep him awake until we get home. I actually hate having naps on the go but it's handy the odd time.

I’m not being judgy, I think the way I write comes across that way sometimes but its not meant to. It’s more just curiosity because I can’t see how that situation could develop without parents introducing the cot in the first place if you see what I mean - because kids aren’t born knowing what a cot is. It’s different for each child, my kids didn’t even like the cot at night so there’s advantages if your child does like it!

It isn’t the cot, @ForestFae

It is a darkened room with no other stimulation. Have you ever tried to nod off sitting upright in the middle of a busy office? Are you honestly telling me you’d be able to do that if you were tired enough?

More likely is if you were really exhausted you might be able to sleep fitfully for a while, restless and half asleep/half awake.

If you understand that most people don’t sleep in busy, bright places then you do understand. Babies and little children are not as vastly different as you might think.

@ForestFae Different things suit different people I guess but having a baby who naps in his cot is the gold standard in my opinion. Mine would only nap on me or on the go for 5 months and to have him sleep so well in his cot now is a total game changer.

That's a lie.

I can GUARANTEE you have routines.

I'll bet breakfast is always around the same time, as is bed time etc.

There's literally no way you are flying every single day, going , oh it's 4pm shall we have lunch now? Kids go to bed whenever we think to do it... Shall we get some shopping in today? Yeah, why not. Shall we go to school? Yeah, it's about 11, let's toddle off.

Nope, we do not have mealtimes at the same time nor do we go to bed at the same time. I home educate so no school runs. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s more just curiosity because I can’t see how that situation could develop without parents introducing the cot in the first place if you see what I mean - because kids aren’t born knowing what a cot is.

Its not the cot though, it's the quiet room with no distractions and no stimulus to engage them into staying awake.

It could have just as easily have been a cardboard box or a bathtub in the middle of an empty room. The fact it was a cot is irrelevant it's the fact they had a quiet space where their brains can switch off and allow them to drift off.

Probably not in a busy office, but I think pushchairs are usually different, they’re comfy, they have a hood which dims the lights, they lie flat. So it’s not like they’re sitting upright.

That makes more sense - what I was asking was how the association with the cot develops, I can see why some kids would prefer the quiet.

Probably not in a busy office, but I think pushchairs are usually different, they’re comfy, they have a hood which dims the lights, they lie flat. So it’s not like they’re sitting upright.

Yes but if you're child won't sleep in the pushchair unless the place you are is quiet and calm and there is no distractions then whats the point? If you can't get them to nap in it on the go because of all the other things then you might as well put them into a cot.

Depends where you want to go! I used to like going out for walks round a local nature reserve for example.

It’s interesting some kids need silence - and I wonder if having siblings or not affects it. DC2 and 3 sleep through any noise, more noticeably than DS1 and I often wonder if that’s because they were born into an already busy house with kids vs DS1 who was an only child for a couple of years.

Depends where you want to go! I used to like going out for walks round a local nature reserve for example.

But don't you see that this is still an environment with lots of distractions and stimuli. Noises of animals, new smells and lots to look at?

I would’ve said it was fairly quiet, especially with the hood down and pushchair lying flat. Trees blocking out some of the light. Certainly wouldn’t have put it in the category of a bright, stimulating environment.

I would’ve said it was fairly quiet, especially with the hood down and pushchair lying flat. Trees blocking out some of the light. Certainly wouldn’t have put it in the category of a bright, stimulating environment.

Maybe not for you but for a baby who is interested in anything new or different then absolutely. To my DS it wpuld have been just as interesting as a trip to the farm or a busy shop.

That's why some children struggle to sleep in a pram because to them every part of even what an adult would consider a dull walk is too stimulating and interesting.

especially with the hood down and pushchair lying flat

You produce very tolerant toddlers if they were happy to be pushed around lying flat, with the hood down, whilst awake. My DS is generally very content and easy going, but no way would he tolerate this.

Certainly wouldn’t have put it in the category of a bright, stimulating environment

Nature is extremely stimulating, in a very good way. DS loves it. Which is why I give him a rain check on not falling asleep in it.

Naps have never ruled my life. Babies (and toddlers) sleep when they're tired, wherever we are.

It’s just crazy to me that some people can put a child in a cot and they’ll go to sleep! Mine would scream if I did that! If I ever wanted them to sleep in the cot, I had to rock them first, or push them in the stroller, or put them in the car, or just wait for them to fall asleep and then move them.

Do the cot napping kids just accept being put in the cot? Do they not protest at all?

I also don’t really understand the judgment that comes from “letting naps rule your life”. Like a parent putting their young child’s needs before their own? The horror. It’s almost like that’s just part of parenting sometimes.

One of the reasons we used a cot rather than a pram/ car is quality of sleep. When I've had a sofa nap or fallen asleep in the car, I dont wake up rested- it's a short nap of discomfort and lots of tiny wake ups, no deep sleep. Whereas 2 hours in a dark room and comfy bed would do it!

Also, it really helped us cement the bedroom is for sleeping, and helped night time routines a lot.

Exactly.
I was more than happy to be out on a morning and come home for nap time.
A toddler without their nap is the worst.
Back out on a afternoon if we wanted with a happy child makes life a lot easier for everyone.

In my experience, once a child is a certain age they start to look forward to nap time as they understand that they're tired and would like to rest. My nearly 3yr old DD has dropped the nap now, but she used to ask to go up to her cot most days and lie down happily to play with a toy until she dozed off. Same with bedtime. When you get tired you're happy to go to bed, right? Why should kids be any different?

I am, but my kids have never asked for a nap and would’ve gone ballistic if I’d just put them in a cot with a toy. They also figured out how to climb out at 18 months so they’d jump out.

Do the cot napping kids just accept being put in the cot? Do they not protest at all?

Yes he goes in happily and does not protest. To the extent he’ll ask for it to be ‘more dark’ if I’ve forgotten to put the blackout blind down.