Do you work full time as a mum of primary and below kids?

[cafedesreves]

Im a full time working mum of a nearly 2 year old. My hours start early but finish early ish too so I tag team with my husband who is the opposite.
Even in my job (teacher) I've had so many comments from mainly women asking how I cope with working full time, and I don't think my husband has ever been asked that. So many things at nursery/school also take place during the school day, like parenting talks etc. So I'm interested, am I very much in the minority of women? It can feel like it sometimes but I really don't know that the status quo is! Do you work full time?

I work full time and my husband is part time (I'm the - much - higher earner).

Of the school mums (kids are Y3 and Y4), I think I'm in the (significant) minority.

I don’t work full time, I do 3 days a week of school hours and also work a couple of evenings a week to make up some leftover hours. I agree it’s a total double standard regarding men and women working full time. Don’t take anyones comments to heart. We’re all just doing our best at the end of the day x

i worked full time for a year when DD was 18 months to 2.5 and the comments drove me crazy with people sympathising it was a lot yet no one ever said that to DH when he went back to work 2 weeks after

F out of interest. It's always the women that gets asked.. its because a lot of women know we have the household to run also!

I worked full time from straight after mat leave (baby was 9 months) to when she was 9 and in year 5. I had some time off, doing school trips and the like before finding a part time job. My daughter is a teenager now but benefits from me being more emotionally available to her now than when I was working full time when she was younger. I was basically the only mum who was never at the school gate.

I am a single parent, working full time and my son sees his dad 1 night every fortnight. Yes it's hard, yes I dont get much time to myself but I'm setting an example to my little boy that you have to work hard for what you want

I work full time and DH (teacher) is part time. The majority of comments I get are along the lines of "oh good on him"/"isn't that wonderful"/"I wish my husband wanted to stay at home with the kids". I've never got any comments about me working full time tho, that's very normal in my circles, I don't know any SAHMs.

I'm literally weighing up the pros and cons of returning to work full time or part time when my maternity ends in august. It's such a hard decision!!! Nothing, literally nothing, has changed for my partner and I'm here trying to work out how much I'll earn and miss out on etc.

I work ft with two under 10 (and have since they were 6mo).

I am the only woman in my friendship group who works full time hours. Dh is a teacher so off all the school holidays, as is a couple of the men in the group.

I think my kids are one of the few in school where both parents work FT.

I worked FT until my eldest was 2. I was then on maternity with my youngest. I was PT after he was born for three years. This was mainly because of child care costs. I worked evenings around DH's hours and my wage was a lot more as a result of shift allowances.

I've worked FT since our youngest was 3. I do think it can be hard. What has helped us is DH works condensed hours so has time off in the week. I WFH, work flexi time and have a very flexible employer. So I can take time off in the week if I need to. When my kids were younger, before I did my current job I did always feel like I was chasing my tail. Since WFH it's been easier.

I do… we both work full time and have a DD in primary school
covid has made it a bit easier since we’re both hybrid working now, so we can take turns so at least one of us it’s home when DD comes back home
i would say about half the mums on her class also work full time, and certainly a lot of women at my work have small kids

I work full time and have 3 DCs under 5. I get the “superhero” comment a lot, which is a bit 🙄 I try to brush it off and get on with things though.

I know many people who are child-free, and many families with 2 working parents. I actually don’t know ANY SAHPs… not sure if that’s just the middle class circles I run in, I.e., not wealthy enough to give up a salary, not low-earning enough for childcare to be a big issue…?

re: meetings during the school day, different families make it work in different ways. Some friends are nurses / surgeons / social workers who work shifts, and so actually are available during school hours every other week (…if they give up a bit of sleep). Others, like me, have flexible roles where we work many hours a week, but don’t have trouble skipping out for 1-3 hours every now and then. Among my teacher friends, either the other parent handles school-time things, or else they end up taking a lot of “sick days”…

We're well past the primary years now, but I did work FT when dd was that age. Like you, DH and I both worked flexibly so that we could tag team it between us. It was a juggling act at times but actually it was fine...I think you just adapt to however busy you are.

both full time working parents with a 2 year old. We use a nursery and have recently added some home help one evening a week. Still a tough juggle.

I work full time, DC are 5 and 9. I mainly work from home now and life is so much easier. I can stick the laundry on, prep supper etc. I think I’d find full time work a lot harder if I was in the office all the time. To be fair I don’t think many people have asked me how I do it but then my closest friends all work too. Or maybe I’m not making it look easy enough!!

DH and I both work FT. Have done since DS was 7.5 months. No regrets and never experienced any judgement from anyone. It works for us 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m a full time, five days a week worker, I’m a single mama to two DC and I’m considered a ‘high earner’.

Eldest is now 8 but I’ve been single parenting and working FT since they were 1&3.

I’m relieved to be able to recognise it’s a hell of a lot easier now, and also step back and go I’m actually doing alright!

Yes, and have done other than when I was on maternity leave. I outearn DH and always gave done. And, frankly, I was miserable by the end of maternity leave and am a much better mother for working!

I have always said that I will answer ‘wouldn’t you rather be PT?’ politely from the day that anyone asks DH that question. DS1 is 9 and I still haven’t met that condition. The answer is that we did discuss DH being a SAHD but he didn’t want to and therefore we didn’t go that route.

Work full time, 1 in primary and 1 in nursery.

Permanently knackered and the house is a state but can't afford any other way!

My kids are 11 and 18 now. But I have always worked full time.

I have been told by women at work ‘oh I could never leave mine.’ Then it came out they worked evenings. Which is exactly what me and (now ex) H did. I worked days and he worked evenings.

i was told once women who work m, with under 5s, shouldn’t have kids. Which is said on here quite a bit as well

After I went back to work after my 2nd mat leave, a group of mums at school decided I didn’t do the school run anymore as I just be sick. This got back to the head teacher who spoke to my mum (mum used to work at the school) and told her she was aware I had cancer and asked what support we needed. Mum thought I was hiding a diagnosis from her and was beside herself. I spoke to the head teacher and pointed out I didn’t fo the school run as I worked. And is it likely this rumour would not have started or she would have called a man’s mum, cause the mum used to work at the school.

I also worked when I was a single parent, including when there was no input from their dad.

I get people even now who seem to express disbelief that I worked and became very senior whilst having kids and generally presume I must be miserable, stressed and tired, even now. Or tell me I am Wonder Woman, which isn’t true. I am just a normal person.

and attending things…our wonderful childminder often goes. DH is a teacher but if he happens to be off during events he can go. I rarely show my face at school (post COVID it’s easier because WFH and my manager wouldn’t blink if I reorganised my day to attend something).

It helps for me that DM was very FT and I adore her so have no concerns about DSs and my relationship!

I have 2 under 6 and dh and I both work full time. I always have done bar mat leave as although I can technically go part time in my role, in practice the workload stays the same with less pay. I'm the only mum I know who works full time and I get a lot of barbed comments about 'family time' from other mums but I work flexibly and see a lot of DC, compress my hours, work early morning and late evening so I can do school and nursery run and spend time with them in the afternoons.

My eldest just told me last week she wants to be like me and have a career so I'm pleased she sees me as a woman working rather than fulfilling the stereotypical female roles.

I work full time in a demanding role. I'm doing 55-60hrs a week at the moment

We have a nanny and I really want to work. I don't need to, I work for my own pleasure so I think that takes the pressure off

I work full time with a DD who is nearly 3. I’m currently on mat leave with DD2 and will be going back full time.
However, within my team there are 6 of us (all women), and I’m the only one with young kids who works full time. 3 others have young children and are all part time. I’m not sure what the split is like across the company as a whole though (very large company with flexible working options). Working from home 3 days a week, and DH working from home 5 days a week definitely helps us though.

To add, I only know one other full time working mum in my friendship group. It's certainly unusual where we are.

I don't get any negative comments (well, except one woman but she's a complete cow)