Do you work full time as a mum of primary and below kids?

[cafedesreves]

Im a full time working mum of a nearly 2 year old. My hours start early but finish early ish too so I tag team with my husband who is the opposite.
Even in my job (teacher) I've had so many comments from mainly women asking how I cope with working full time, and I don't think my husband has ever been asked that. So many things at nursery/school also take place during the school day, like parenting talks etc. So I'm interested, am I very much in the minority of women? It can feel like it sometimes but I really don't know that the status quo is! Do you work full time?

On my own with 3 kids. Mostly worked full time, although took a year off during Covid due to being unable to cope. When the world is turning normaly, its fine to work and look after the kids. The kids and I enjoy the money too - they like being able to get some nice things.

Thanks so much for all your responses. It's really nice to hear from other FT working mums as well as those who have made other choices!

It's definitely true that DH often WFH has made things easier for us!

I'm literally thinking about planning a second mat leave to coincide with visiting primary schools 🤦‍♀️

Single mum, work full time. Get the most ridiculous comments about how I juggle it. But also about being unreasonable for doing so.

At dd's school having 1 working parent working full time is the norm. Having 2 is pretty rare.

Part of me is a little envious of their involvement with their kids lives. I don't know many of her friends or their parents as my hours mean I don't often do pick up and drop off. But other times I love it that indont get caught up in the drama!

Good for you! My mum worked full time, and I had to adapt, and learn that she didn't exist purely for me, and that if we wanted nice things, we had to work for them. She was brilliant! I really learned the value of family time at weekends and in the evenings once she was home.

We both work full time. When Ds has needed forms filling in or collecting because he’s unwell, school have never called my husband. That pisses me off.
It is hard. I’ve had lots of comments over the years. Ds knows that for us to live in our home, and to do the few activities he does, we need to work. It’s a fairly traditional set up as standard around here. Dads work full time, the mums work very part time hours or occasionally not at all. They also do some of the MLM stuff. The very few other full time mums obviously earn a lot more and send kids to private and or have amazing holidays.

I started full time from youngest dtds starting year 3 but was 30 hours before that so not a huge difference. I started 30 hours When dtds were halfway through reception.

I work ft with a 5yo and almost 3,yo
5yo in school and does after school club 2x a week. You get nursery 3x per week, family 1 day and I do compressed hours over 4 days
DH works random days and hours but we earn pretty equal.
Every week is mad. I WFH 2x and office 2x.
It sort of works, but it has to with the cost of everything!

I do some flex so I can pick up twice a week and I drop off 3 days. Dh does the rest as his hours are flexible. We did have a cm for a year after school 2 nights a week but she stopped during the pandemic and now dh and I both work from home alternately so just bring them home and let them loose on the snack drawer.

Based on the fact I often get asked if I work FT (I do) I would assume it’s somewhat unusual. I would say that the majority of Mums at DCs school do work but most of those are PT.

I work full time, DS is nearly 1 and I went back to work when he was 6/7 months.

I've had far nastier comments about it on mumsnet than anyone in real life.

I work full time in a demanding job (city law) with a 4 year old and 18 month old. DH works 4 days. We make it work atm because, like another pp, while I do loads of hours I have the flexibility to be able to take off an hour or two hear and there during the day pretty much when I want and make it back up later. DH is self employed and so can arrange his work to an extent around my commitments (eg I start late so he works early which means he can always ge there in the evenings in case I get held up). It’s a juggle but the only way we can make things work as I am by far the higher earner and part time doesn’t really work in my practice area.

We both work PT so we can manage school runs (both DS disabled so no options for school clubs etc) and definitely get the tone of surprise that my DH is PT and does 2 school runs a week.

Yes, always have. Kids now in y3 and y6. Also a teacher. It's fine. The key imho is having a husband who pulls his weight.

I work full time and have two children, they are now age 13 and 10, but I have always worked full time since going back from May leave with both.
I'm now a single parent after their father and I separated 4 years ago.
He sees them for a couple of hours every other weekend ( ish).

I went back to work full time and will again at the end of this maternity leave.

I think we get asked more often because more often than not the women also look after the household.

www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/employmentandemployeetypes/articles/moremotherswithyoungchildrenworkingfulltime/2017-09-26 found this which is now 5 years old. Seems that it was 1 in 4ish working FT in 2017.

Worked full time since DD was 9 months old, she's 8yo now.

I've been asked a few times, I generally find looking them directly in the eyes, pausing for a bit and then saying something like 'The same way my husband does' gets them to abandon that line of questioning.

I work full time but it’s always around 55-60 hours a week, my husband also works full time, I am the only female at work with children that works full time hours so I guess part time works better for their families

We both work full time, I was part time for the first year youngest dd was at nursery, then went full time.

Honestly, I think working full time when paying for nursery is easier.. youngest dd starts school this year and the stress about trying to sort after school care is enormous - after school club "will let me know" and not many childminders left as a lot have up during covid. Then there is the stress of sorting holiday childcare. It's much easier having a full time nursery place, that's open 52 weeks a year and only closes on bank holidays.

Older dd is secondary age, so less worry about her, but that's also a challenge as she's a bit too young to be left alone the whole day, but too old for holiday childcare.

I do still get comments asking me how I do it all as we have no family support nearby - the answer is, I don't. Me and DH share drop offs and pick ups and it has been much easier since he is working much more at home, plus we a cleaner once a week.

But PPs are right - for school and nursery, it's always me that gets the call if they are sick, even though DH is listed as first contact as he is mainly working from home so can get to them quicker, and he is never asked how he manages it all working full time.

I'm a teacher as well. I went back to work full time (around 60 hours per week) when my baby was 8 months. She's now 1, I'm pregnant again and will be returning full time again at around 10 months.
It's definitely not the norm here and I don't know any one else who does it in real life.
The amount of ridiculous comments I've had about it is astounding.

I’ve got a two year old and a four year old and work FT. When I had my first I worked in a very female dominated sector and the comments I got were unbelievable when I returned to work FT. I worked in a stand alone role so if I cut my hours to 3 or 4 days a week I would still have to do the same amount of work for less pay as there would be no backfill for the 1/2 days I wasn’t working! The plan after DC2 was to go back PT but unfortunately the pandemic fucked up our finances and I lost my job and DH had no overtime. Since the economy is about to tank I would rather pay of our debts quickly to ensure my families financial stability.

Im a single parent and work full time in a very demanding, high responsibility job. Went back to work after 6 months mat leave for both. DCs father doesn't have them at all so it's all down to me. DC are 9 and 10 and 9 yr old has SEN. I feel guilty constantly. Not to mention exhausted. Im incredibly jealous of women who can work part time. I'd love to. But can't afford it as their father only pays £30 a month in child maintenance) and that has only happened 1 month in their entire lives. None of my friends who are mums work full time.

Yes, I work full time (about 45 hours a week, as head of comms for a NDPB). I don’t know many others who do a 5 day week - a couple who do compressed hours and most other mums of primary-age children are part time. No one has ever said anything (positive or negative!) about it.

it only works because DH is part time. But I had no desire to do that, and he did.

Dp and I both work full time. I'm a teacher so around most of the holidays, and post covid he works from home so can do laundry and start cooking tea before I get home, which is amazing! He is also actually a decent dad who takes as much responsibility as me for all appointments, birthday parties etc, which seems to be vanishingly rare if my and my friends are anything to go by. We both say now we don't know how we coped when we were both out all day every day. Neither of us are ever at the school gate but he can generally get time off for school assemblies and sports days. I cant, but at least I get the holidays. Dd has been with same childminder since 9 months old and they are like family. I feel very lucky.

I am a lone parent, no contact with exh and no weekends off, of a 3 year old, I commute to London 2-3days a week when I am not travelling round the uk and a couple of days working from home. I am a high earner and I am lucky family helps me when I am travelling for work. I have been ft since dc was 6 months (before I split from xh) and was always the higher earner. I am the only single parent in my nct group and the only mum who works ft. Most of my colleagues are men and due to my role its impossible to cut my work to 4 days etc but I do organise my own diary which gives me quite a lot of flexibility and my colleague is very much an equal parent in his relationship so there isn't any problem with having to leave for childcare pickups etc.