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Parenting

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Original poster

Do you work full time as a mum of primary and below kids?

104 replies

cafedesreves · 31/05/2022 18:47

Im a full time working mum of a nearly 2 year old. My hours start early but finish early ish too so I tag team with my husband who is the opposite.
Even in my job (teacher) I've had so many comments from mainly women asking how I cope with working full time, and I don't think my husband has ever been asked that. So many things at nursery/school also take place during the school day, like parenting talks etc. So I'm interested, am I very much in the minority of women? It can feel like it sometimes but I really don't know that the status quo is! Do you work full time?

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CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory · 31/05/2022 21:37

DD is 8 and I work full time. But then I work in a remote role with lots of flexibility and DH doesn't work, so it's a lot easier for us to manage than many people.

Dancingwithhyenas · 31/05/2022 21:37

I work part time (3 days a week spread over 5 days). The vast majority of the mums at school are part time, with a few having SAHDs or partners who work part time as well.
I think it’s tough to have two full time working parents with young kids- especially if you have more than one. For us, because I split my hours so we don’t need after school care, it would be much worse for us financially for me to work full time. I think that’s probably true for lots of families.

SkirridHill · 31/05/2022 21:44

I do work full time, but I have flexible working so can leave to pick up DD and then complete my working day from my desk at home. I realise I'm extremely fortunate to be able to do that.

I would say that the majority of mums of kids in DDs class either work part time or not at all.

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pitterpatterrain · 31/05/2022 21:45

Both me and DH are full time, we balance it - financially I am the higher earner (only recent couple of years) so it makes no sense for me to go PT

I used to get questions when the DC were younger of who was looking after them if I was at work or travelling and the “oh I couldn’t do that to my children” [tinkly laugh] about working FT occasionally but tbh I just ignore it now. Each to their own - you haven’t walked in my shoes or me in yours

Benjaminsniddlegrass · 31/05/2022 21:46

Yep I work full time, have done since a few months into reception class, DH also full time. Busy, pressured jobs but we're blended working which helps as does ensuring properly equal sharing of tasks between me & DH, paying for time (cleaner, gardener, online food shops etc), have only one DD which also definitely helps. Doesn't feel overwhelming (most of the time), we feel like we have a good balance and our DD is happy and settled.

Benjaminsniddlegrass · 31/05/2022 21:47

Oh and no don't get those comments, my friends get that my work is important too & I have many friends who do work FT too. Someone made daft comments like that wouldn't spend much time with them.

addictedtotheflats · 31/05/2022 21:52

I have a 3 year old and we both work full time. DP does mon-fri and I do 3/4 7.30-20.30 shifts. DS goes to nursery today on a flexi place any 2 days a week and I self roster so quite flexible. DP does nursery drop offs/pick ups. Its hard work, rarely have a day off together but we have no family close by to help so it is what it is.

Original poster

cafedesreves · 31/05/2022 21:54

Benjaminsniddlegrass · 31/05/2022 21:47

Oh and no don't get those comments, my friends get that my work is important too & I have many friends who do work FT too. Someone made daft comments like that wouldn't spend much time with them.

@Benjaminsniddlegrass it's not from my friends (they totally get it) but rather from random people I work with. I am one of 3 women with primary aged kids working full time at my job... everyone else is part time.

OP posts:

Namechanger355 · 31/05/2022 21:54

Yes work full time in law - and outearn DH. He also works FT. Its hard though so you have sympathy on that

but im never asked by anyone about it - all of my friends with young kids work FT with FT partners. its totally the norm for us (in London).

Therealpink · 31/05/2022 21:55

I had 4 under 5 and have always worked full time. Love working and my job. But it has decent work life balance and pays well so I’ve an amazing nanny.

Grumpybutfunny · 31/05/2022 21:57

Yes I work full time 24/7 shifts and I'm the higher wage earner. It's always me that gets asked if I'm part time. Out of comparison we are both scientists in the NHS. when we say we work for the NHS people always ask if he is a doctor and if I'm a nurse!

BlueIvy11 · 31/05/2022 22:01

I have done since I had a child at 16. All I've known really. I get asked the same thing but it's just normal and routine for me. Mine are 9 and nearly 13 now.

littlemisslozza · 31/05/2022 22:03

I'm also a teacher and I worked part time when my 3 DC were all babies/toddlers/primary age but I'm back to full time now the eldest two are at secondary and youngest is year 6.

Complicating factor is that we also have a farm and DH works silly hours so couldn't equally share the load when they were little. He did what he could, (and still does), but it's a seven days a week business that is our main income, so we needed to work around that.

I glad that I did have the flexibility to attend sports day, concerts, take to clubs etc but I'm also glad I didn't give it up entirely. I'm enjoying doing more hours again now they're older but it's great having the holidays off with them.

Sadandfedup2 · 31/05/2022 22:05

Both work full time, but I work term time only (not teaching). 2 dc under 5. It's mental. Full time nursery for the youngest, wrap around care for the oldest in school. No home working but no long commutes either. I'd really love to drop a day but with the cost of living increases its not viable. It would only save £20 a week nursery as we'd lose the full time discount. No family or paid help. Finding it really stressful, I've just gone back after having ds.

Normandy144 · 31/05/2022 22:10

I work full-time and have a 6 and 9 year old. I took a full year plus a bit extra of accrued annual leave for maternity leave for both children. I do however work from home with the occasional office day which I can fix to please me. So although I work full-time it does mean I am able to attend anything school related in the day. I also walk my children to school but use after school clubs. I don't feel particularly stressed by it. I think if I was working out of the home however and factoring in a daily commute then I might.

mobear · 31/05/2022 22:16

My DC is 18 months. I work full time because I want to, which seems to shock the hell out of our family and friends who assumed I’d stop working as DP is a high earner. The comments have not been negative but I’ve been surprised by how surprised they are.

Alliolly · 31/05/2022 22:27

We have a 3yo and both work FT. I've never had any questions or comments though and neither has DH as far as I'm aware.

Mammyloveswine · 31/05/2022 22:36

This has been my first year back full time as a teacher.. it's much easier being full time as a teacher than part time!!

WalkerWalking · 31/05/2022 22:40

I'm a full time teacher as well. It's only feasible for me because my husband only works part time, and usually from home.

I know that lots of families cope fine with both parents working out of the house full time, but it wouldn't work for us.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 31/05/2022 22:55

In the primary school my children attend, all of the teachers, including the head, and deputy head work part time.
The only member of staff who works full time is a male teacher.

I work part time, some of my friends work 4 days but manage their own workload so are able to pop out for a few hours for school meetings or sports day.
I don't know any stay at home parents now my children are in the Juniors, more common when they've still got pre school age children.

Lisbeth50 · 31/05/2022 23:08

Mine are older now but we have pretty much always both worked FT. In between my maternity leave after having ds2 ending and him starting school, we both worked PT, otherwise FT. We are both teachers. For anything happening during the school day, grandparents went or we managed to use PPA time.

Tintackedsea · 31/05/2022 23:18

I work ft. I have two in primary and one due to start this year. I am broken and exhausted. My dh works pt and is very flexible. But I'm so burnt out now. I'm the only ft mum in the kids' classes because there is no childcare here and lots of folk have dh who work offshore (fishing, rigs, merchant seamen etc). If you are the sahp you are broken: if you are the working parent you are broken. I don't know anyone who feels as though they have the balance right.

glamourousindierockandroll · 31/05/2022 23:38

I'm going back full time in September after three years of 4 days. I've massively reduced my commute in taking a new job though, so I think it will balance out.

RiverFlowers · 31/05/2022 23:45

I work full time and my husband is part time, I earn far more than him. He works evenings/nights so looks after the kids during the day when I am working then I take over when he goes to work.

Our kids are 5 and 2.

I think our set up is fairly unusual, most of the parents at the school, it's the mums who either don't work at all or are part time.

Oystercatchers · 31/05/2022 23:56

CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory · 31/05/2022 21:37

DD is 8 and I work full time. But then I work in a remote role with lots of flexibility and DH doesn't work, so it's a lot easier for us to manage than many people.

I don't think the OP is talking about a situation where one parent doesn't work!

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