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Parenting

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Original poster

Do you work full time as a mum of primary and below kids?

104 replies

cafedesreves · 31/05/2022 18:47

Im a full time working mum of a nearly 2 year old. My hours start early but finish early ish too so I tag team with my husband who is the opposite.
Even in my job (teacher) I've had so many comments from mainly women asking how I cope with working full time, and I don't think my husband has ever been asked that. So many things at nursery/school also take place during the school day, like parenting talks etc. So I'm interested, am I very much in the minority of women? It can feel like it sometimes but I really don't know that the status quo is! Do you work full time?

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ivfbabymomma1 · 31/05/2022 20:13

I work full time during the week but then my job is term time so I get the holidays off etc. before that I worked part time all year round. Still trying to weigh up which I prefer but the school holidays one is obviously more convenient

tealandteal · 31/05/2022 20:15

I worked 4 days for the first 18 months after maternity leave and then went full time. I am definitely in the minority at the school gates, and when they hear that my DH is taking shared parental leave with this current baby, it’s as if I have announced I am an alien.

Oystercatchers · 31/05/2022 20:16

My DD is 5. I'm part-time now, but DP and I were both full-time until a couple of months ago; one or other of us was part-time before that, until DD was rising 2. My brother has three primary-aged children and he and his wife have both been full-time since the youngest was born; before that they had patches of working 4 days a week. I know quite a lot of couples where both parents work full time, but I do think it is hard work. I suspect the answer to your question will vary depending on where people live - there are lots of parts of the country where there's a huge incentive for both parents to work full time, because it's so expensive. We moved to a cheaper area specifically because we really didn't want to end up with both of us having to work full-time.

I do know what you mean about the assumption there's a parent available during school hours - we find that annoying too! I average about 25 hours a week and DP often hits 50, and we do find it a bit irritating when school thinks everyone can make an event at 10am! One of the things that I do think is helpful is that, because we're both women, we benefit from the general understanding that women need to do childcare ( because patriarchy), so if DP tells her boss she can't make the out-of-hours meeting because she needs to pick up DD, her boss is probably more understanding than if she were a man. And my colleagues get that I will sometimes leave at 3 to pick DD up from school.

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fingerscrossed27 · 31/05/2022 20:16

Both work full time with a 2 and 7 year old, I think it's only doable as I can WFH home when I need too and have my mum for childcare so yes it's busy but o realise I'm lucky and able to bring in a decent wage. I do realise I'm the only I've who can't go to the park after school very often though....

Jijithecat · 31/05/2022 20:21

I worked full time after my first, doing a compressed week. I took a year of mat leave after my second and returned part time partially because childcare in my area costs so much.
I was very much in the minority working full time as everyone I knew seemed to either work part time or gave up work.

Wingingit15 · 31/05/2022 20:25

I think it’s pretty easy working full time pre school given many nurseries are 7.30-6 ish. Particularly if two parents to juggled drop offs etc. more challenging when get into school and the balance of limited wraparound and clubs etc, even with just one

Arsewangry · 31/05/2022 20:27

I do, and always have except when on maternity leave. I have compressed my hours now so full time over 4 days though.

Bloodyhelldog · 31/05/2022 20:33

I work full time but am lucky to have super flexible hours. I'm the only mum at a toddler group I go to who works and I get lots of sympathetic noises but actually I think my kid is cooler than all of theirs so I don't care 🤫

DSGR · 31/05/2022 20:40

Two ft working parents here and proud of it. We tag team too so one of us can always do pick up. Kids are doing really well. We can afford great holidays and all the clubs they want to do. Wouldn’t swap it personally but I’m pretty good at ignoring other people’s comments!

Onwards22 · 31/05/2022 20:44

I worked FT as a single parent and still do.
I found it really hard.

The working was fine and the parenting was fine.
It was all of the cleaning, cooking etc that had to be done after work that I found most difficult.

Cheesechips · 31/05/2022 20:49

I have a 2 year old and work full time, have since I returned after maternity leave. I think I'm in the minority but a few of my friend with kids work full time too. I don't care what anyone thinks, I haven't really had any comments but it would be water off a ducks back anyway. I remember a doctor asking if my son went to a childminder. I said yes, 5 days a week and he said "wow" it made me laugh though and I don't think he meant anything by it but shows I'm in the minority. Nothing to be ashamed of, you're working hard and showing your child a good work ethic. At least if my husband loses his job we could Lahr about manage on my wage for a bit.

Cheesechips · 31/05/2022 20:50

I can imagine it's tough for single parents, but definitely doable if you and your partner share the load.

wineandsunshine · 31/05/2022 20:53

I work full time as a teacher with 4DS (only two are in primary still). My DH works full time from home which has been a godsend with childcare etc!

It's hard work but we tag-team and get on with it - albeit absolutely knackered and needing a holiday!!

WhatsInAMolatovMocktail · 31/05/2022 20:57

I work full time, my kids are primary age. I'm lucky I can flex my time so usually I can get to inconvenient school assemblies etc.

Of my DD's group of 6 best friends at her primary school, all the mums are FT. I took a few years off with my second child and I was constantly asked if i was "going crazy with boredom" and "craving adult company". Eventually I was, so i went back FT and dont regret it at all. I think it just depends which kind of friends your kids fall in with.

Longdistance · 31/05/2022 21:03

I started working ft when dds were 3 and 4. Dh would drop off in the mornings, then I’d pick up in the afternoons. I then changed jobs and dds were in ft school and I worked in a school, term time only, hurrah! They’d go to breakfast club and ASC. People do ask how I juggle, but I appreciate the holiday’s so much.
My dd2 will be going to Senior school soon, so may change jobs, but that’s to do with being self employed rather than being someone else’s puppet.

KvotheTheBloodless · 31/05/2022 21:04

I work full time, but I'm able to WFH 3 days a week to do school pick-up and catch up either early morning or late evening after DS is asleep. I know I'm extremely lucky that I can do that (not all luck, mind - I resigned from my last job over a lack of flexibility).

It works for my family - stuff like life admin is split equally between DH and me, and we do it on breaks, on the train, whilst doing the weekly shop etc. so we can have weekends as a family having fun. And we outsource cleaning!

Thursday37 · 31/05/2022 21:07

Not quite full time (0.85 FTE), at the moment over 4 days but will stretch over 5 when DD at school. It was financially beneficial for me to drop a few hours (tax reasons, and now get child benefit). I’m the main earner though.
I will probably go back to full time in a few years though as I’m main earner. Then DH can drop to part time in his 50’s

RoyKent · 31/05/2022 21:10

Work full time- have done since DD was 10 months. 1 parent with family with 0 contact. Thank God for my mum and sister. Its all on me to give her a lovely life so it makes the long hours worth it. In education so we go hard in the summer holidays with trips and activities.

MollyRover · 31/05/2022 21:10

Went back full time when DC1 was 13 weeks old. DH took over and worked 3.5 days a week, DC1 was with Nan for one day and daycare for 2.5. I had a lot of flexibility to work from home so could keep up breastfeeding exclusively for 6 months but it was really hard. DC1 is 5 now and I'm expecting DC2, will take 3 extra months of leave this time around and only go back 3/4 days a week at least until they're in school at 4.

Change123today · 31/05/2022 21:15

I worked full time from my eldest being 1 with an 18 month maternity leave with my second. When the eldest started secondary my youngest started primary I reduced my hours to be around more in the afternoon.

My eldest is 19 it’s never really affected her me being working - We’ve always been present - every sports day etc

Agreed my husband has never been asked the same questions I have. But it’s worked for us as we worked together so the expectation for him to also never miss a school thing etc He’s done equal share with children activities. He’s been asked when having a half day for a sports day why - that annoys him!

Googlecanthelpme · 31/05/2022 21:18

I work full time and I don’t know anyone personally with young children who doesn’t.
I know a friends SIL is part time and an old work friend did 4 days.
But the circles I am in careers tend to be important and mums go back at about 9-12 months. What I have noticed is that they have taken their foot off the pedal, so going back to work but not going for promotions, taking less demanding, more flexible roles - which includes me, I’ve taken 3 years out of the rat race and taken a much less demanding role, but I definitely will step up again soon.
I have no judgement for SAHMs though, that’s a HARD job! Im ready for a break on Monday after a weekend with my kids!

Mc3209 · 31/05/2022 21:20

Both working full time with DS 19 months old. Relying on wonderful nursery. Thankfully didn't get many negative/annoying comments yet.

DelilahBucket · 31/05/2022 21:22

I worked full time from when DS was 15 months. It was never commented on until he was around 2 1/2 and my manager was hinting that perhaps I shouldn't be doing the job with such a young child as a single mother. She was a right cow and I'd just had two days off parental leave because DS had chickenpox and was poorly and if it happened again I would lose my job apparently 🤨. She tried to get me sacked after I'd had an accident and was in a wheelchair because I couldn't walk as well.

cazinge · 31/05/2022 21:31

DP & I both work full-time (4yr old and almost 2yr old), but both compress in to 4 days which has meant only 3 days nursery per week. DP drops off & I pick up. I have pretty much WFH since returning from 2nd mat leave not sure if we could have done it otherwise.
DP is taking on a permanent weekend day as 1 of the 4 days from Sept which means only 2 days ASC / holiday club needed and was partly necessitated by the fact I sometimes have to travel and ASC closes earlier than nursery and I couldn't guarantee being back if I was travelling. Also, full disclosure it is more £ for a permanent weekend day so with cost of living was another benefit.
Only 1 day a week family time is disappointing but the extra £ means we outsource a lot already and may do more, so that is a fun day.

Franca123 · 31/05/2022 21:36

I have two in nursery and work full time as does my partner. We both work from home nearly all the time. My boss is flexible as she works full time and has two in primary school. I couldn't do it in the office. I also know I can walk away at any point which helps. And we have a great cleaner 3 days per week. We've been lucky that our kids are rarely off ill from nursery......so far. My partner is his own boss so largely we can prioritise my calender his. I have been called super woman but just assumed people were being nice and making chit chat. I'm planning to go part time once the kids are in primary school as I feel they may need me more then. It works for us. The kids are happy at nursery. My youngest particularly gets really bored really quickly at home. And I was miserable on my second maternity leave. Miserable.

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