I had a child that would only sleep when touching me. I mean that quite literally. It nearly broke me. Many years later we got a diagnosis that she had autism and was intellectually advanced. In hindsight, those early years suddenly made sense. While we were living them, everyone just kept telling us we were bad at parenting because we couldn’t sleep train her.
cosleeping or some modified form of it really may be the only way to get the rest you need, but there are ways to make it work better.
first, recognize that you need sleep and space so if you must cosleep, don’t hesitate to move your husband to a different space. You and the toddler need the biggest bed in the house. Toddlers take up more space than an adult male. It’s just a fact :) don’t listen to people who say this is bad for your marriage. You know what is bad for your marriage? Sleep deprivation and resentment. Do whatever is necessary to get sleep.
consider ditching the crib or cot and baby proofing the entire nursery. Put a mattress on the floor. Having control about getting up helps kids who are resistant, plus, this gives you a large space where you can comfortably lay down too.
your child is a bit too young for this still, but we eventually were able to introduce what we called the “floor bed”. Dd would start the night in her own room. (There were phases she was fine with this and phases she wasn’t, but we cajoled and even bribed to keep it happening). That little break was good practice for her and it gave me a break. Once she woke up, she was allowed to walk to our room and tuck herself into the floor bed we had set up. It was actually the mattress from her crib, set up next to our bed. Most nights she was perfectly happy just sleeping in our room. If she had a nightmare or she was sick, then she might need extra cuddles, but that is true for any child .