Why we move babies to their own room?

[FurBabyMum02]

My son is 10 months old, he wakes usually 2-3 times a night, breastfeed and straight back to sleep. I've been thinking about moving him to his own room but I guess I'm not really sure why so am looking for some opinions, what changed when you moved your babies? Is it just a society thing that I feel like I should be doing?

He will start nursery in about a month so I'm thinking if we don't do it now before he starts we will be waiting another few months as I would want him to settle into nursery before having another big change.

So far I'm at, pros-
-personal space back
-can get into bed normally rather than climbing in from the bottom (cot next to bed and no space either side at the mo)
-there's a rocking chair in his room to feed in rather than perching on the end of the bed
-possibility of better sleep but totally unknown
-the cat often comes to see us in the night and wakes us up but waking baby is different as he needs resettling, wouldn't wake him in his own room

Cons-
-would have to go into his room to feed and resettle (but I get out of bed anyway so what's a couple of steps down the hall)
-possibility of worse sleep but totally unknown
-separation anxiety on my part, will I sleep worse not being able to just pear over and know he's ok

I still feel he's so tiny, should he be becoming more separated by now and given his independence a little more and own space or not? Opinions gratefully recieved.

The whole own room thing made no difference really sleep wise anyway.

Ds still wakes and needs re settling in his own room, and still ends up in our bed the last few hours anyway ( although actually stayed in own bed 9pm-7am last night with just a quick 4am wake as couldn’t find teddy). But he’s now been in own room almost a year and can still wake 2-3 times or awake early sometimes.

I figure as an adult, most people sleep in same bed as partner, and often say they don’t sleep as well when partner is away. So it’s a comfort thing at all ages. Whilst I would like him to enjoy his own space, and encourage own bed, I won’t ever stop him joining us if he asks or needs to for comfort

DD slept with me until she was about 3 / 4. She wanted to move into her own room then. Luckily I have been blessed with a great sleeper. As soon as she was old enough she would help herself to a breastfeed at night so I was barely disturbed.

She is still a great sleeper and has never stirred before 7.00 am.

It felt completely normal to want to sleep next to her. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep if she was in a different room.

I still co-sleep with my who's three and a half. I think you should do whatever works for you. I really don't think there's a right or wrong tbh because all kids and families are so different.

7 months. We don't have a big bedroom and I wanted my space back. We also both wanted them in the habit of being in their own rooms and I think its easier to move them when they are babies.

Dd moved to her own room at 7 months because she had outgrown the next2me. I initially moved with her. It was easier for me to stay in the same room while still breastfeeding her 2-3 x at night. At 10 or 11 months I moved out because she started waking when I got into bed or moved positions. So it was more gradual with us, and there were no drama's.

It also doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can start with daytime naps and see how it goes. Or put them in their own room to start out with and transition back if they still don't sleep after an hour.

Oh and I didn't notice much change actually because I first moved with her. I also still feed her once at night (she's 16 months) so still see her at night. If I'm ever worried (like when she's been sick) I still check on her.

I do sleep a lot better now, so there's that.

@irregularegular

My mum put me in my own room the day I came home from hospital. I’m still working on the attachment disorder 40 years on (not realised until I was in my 30s).

But I think that was really common a generation or two ago. I don't think it means anything by itself.

I agree with that.

I am sorry that life has been difficult for you irregularegular.

We moved our son when he was 8 months old as he became too big/mobile for the Next2Me and we don't have space for a cot in our room. I didn't like having to leave my cosy bed to go and bf him in the nursing chair in his room...but that was the only negative we had really, otherwise it was a positive move. He used to wake for a feed every night around 10/11 when we used to come up to bed so that feed automatically dropped as we were no longer disturbing him, plus he slept more soundly away from my snoring DH!! It was a very easy transition, I just got him to do his daytime naps in his cot for a few weeks before we moved him at night.

I would hate to feel that people are having guilt pangs about putting their babies in their own rooms at a few weeks - it is whatever works for you - there are no hard and fast rules. People must do whatever feels right in your family.

Trends for this and many other baby care "rules" come and go, and on the whole happy children result whatever you do, as long as they are loved.

Loads of food for thought on this thank u all so much for your replys.

My main reasons for both mine were that it got to the point where we were waking our DC up when we came to bed

That was our reason - get them settled in own bed - but they usually ended up in our bed later in the night anyway.

We had a few children close together and they do seem to sleep better when there's another being in the room with them - but DD1 occasionally made it into our room even in reception year - later when DD2 was no longer bf she'd end up in DD1 bed instead of ours. DS happily moved to his own room around three after sharing with his two sisters - girls got own rooms when we moved here - so DD2 was around 5/6 - there was no issue.

Some lovely ideas here about how to make room sharing work for longer. I do miss being with my husband but absolutely love sharing with baby (still breastfeeding). I have often thought about how I sleep better with another person with me so I wonder if research has been done into whether children (not babies) sleep better sharing with siblings?

People shouldn't necessarily feel guilty about tiny babies sleeping in their own room but they should be aware of the small increase in risk of SIDS.

I believe that other factors such as smoking carry a higher risk factors but it's just about being aware and making an informed decision.

Humans are mammals after all and we are meant to keep our babies close to us. We are not the type of mammal that should leave the baby in the nest and go off for food, we are the type to keep them close. Like apes.

All 9 of mine have moved when ready. Well actually 8 because 9th is 16months and in with us. She starts the night in her cot and joins us when she wakes for the first/second time. Others have moved out between 2.5yrs and 5yrs. I sleep best where my littlest sleeps the best. I see/saw no need to live them out - most of the world share sleeping spaces. The rich west is the odd one out here.

I wanted to have sex and I wouldn’t do it with my children in the room.

Move not live!

My 5 Yr old is still with us. No sleep loss, we all sleep fab!

Moved both of mine at 4 months. DC1 was nearer 5 month mark, DC2 was earlier side of 4 months. Both outgrew the (on reflection, far too tiny but oh so cute) bedside wooden crib, and kept knocking the wooden bars with hands etc. Both also good sleepers from the off, and only ever woke once for feed during the night (FF) so I didn't need to worry about traipsing into their room multiple times a night for feeds. Biggest reason is that I suffer terribly with prenatal and post-natal insomnia and both times I found once baby went in own room I could relax a bit - e.g. if I couldn't sleep I knew I could put TV on or pop the light on a read without risking waking the baby, whereas when baby was in with us I'd lie awake scared to move in case I woke them and that was just totally unhelpful for insomnia! Once moved to their own rooms they slept even better and I began to relax about night-times and sleep and my insomnia resolved.

I was aware of SIDS risks etc and actually did a lot of reading up on both occasions. It was the right thing for us as a family at the time.

Transition was easy - they didn't really notice the difference. They'd been napping in the cot for about a month or so before the move anyway.

If you do it at 10 months, he won't really be aware of the difference. If you leave it for a few months, an 18-month toddler will definitely be aware and is likely to kick up a big fuss at bedtime!

IME this cancels out by the fact that an older child (probably not an 18 month old, but 2 years + ) will get excited about their own room, toys, bedding, curtains/walls/pictures with a character theme or another theme they like (diggers, space, ponies, whatever). They're either too young to be bothered about their surroundings as long as the routine is in place or they are old enough to be interested and then you can entice them.

DD co-slept with me until 3.5, own bed in my room until 4.5. DS co-slept until 4, own bed in my room until 6.5 (when we moved house- he would have had his own room a year or two earlier, if we'd had space).

Both moved into their own beds/rooms with no trouble whatsoever, good sleepers since toddlers, both now very independent children. Do whatever works for you!

Mine were sleeping through, and we found we slept better with them in their own room. Moved them at circa 5-6months

You do what's best for you.

We were in with DS until he was 14 months old because we were still in a 1bedroom flat. TBH I was ready to kick him out when he was about 10 months because he was a loud sleeper and we kept waking him up when we went to bed an then he got really grouchy because he hated being disturbed.

We had no issues at all moving him when we moved into our new home. He went from being in the same room to being 2 floors away and EVERYONE Slept better.

@Flittingaboutagain

Some lovely ideas here about how to make room sharing work for longer. I do miss being with my husband but absolutely love sharing with baby (still breastfeeding). I have often thought about how I sleep better with another person with me so I wonder if research has been done into whether children (not babies) sleep better sharing with siblings?

This is called a sibling bed and yes it has been researched :) It carries some of the same benefits of co-sleeping with a parent. Siblings should not share a bed until the youngest is at least 2, unless they are twins. Twins can share a cot from birth.

I will say though, that although there is no huge rush to get babies into their own room if you don't want to, from about age 2 they should at least have the option of their own bed (and preferably a room away from their parents) in the eyes of social services etc - it's seen as important for developing independence.

Moved ds into his own room on day 3 and it was fine. I'd read the books and was sold on the idea of bedsharing, then read the advice against bedsharibg but pro side cot, but started with a moses basket next to me and it seemed to mean that nobody slept, ever. Anyway, he's 18 now. Posting really for anyone else who wants to do this and now thinks it's unheard of!

I couldn't wait to get my DS out of my room at 6mo! I needed some time apart. I'm also a very light sleeper so when he would stir or make any little noise I'd wake up and then be anxious he would wake so that plus the regular waking for feeds I was exhausted.