5 year old found sanpro

[Ilikecheeseontoast]

So my just turned 5yo daughter found my sanpro in the bathroom. I don’t hide them away they were just in the cupboard. She asked me what they were… I just changed the subject and distracted her as I wasn’t sure what to say. I don’t want periods to be weird or taboo like they were with my mum growing up. My mum is such a prude that even as a 40 year old married woman I could never say words like period/tampons/sex/vagina etc in her presence. She just gets all embarrassed and weird. Periods are a normal human function and I want both my sons and daughters to view them that way. However, I’m thinking that too much info at a young age maybe isn’t appropriate?!! Gaaaa. How would you wise old mumsnetters handle such questions??

[quote Sushi7]**@EarringsandLipstick* It's a normal function - there's no such thing as being 'too young'. Be age appropriate in language & content.*

Obviously periods are normal and shouldn’t be ashamed of. However, I feel uncomfortable with the following conversation:

Mum: This is a tampon. I stick it up me so I don’t bleed out into my knickers.

Dc (who cry when they see their bloody knee): Why are you bleeding so much??

Mum: I bleed every month. It’s because sperm didn’t fertilise my egg. proceeds to talk about the process of how mum and dad have sex, how mum falls pregnant, how baby comes out

Just sounds way too traumatising at the age of 5. Dc only need to know when they’re approaching puberty.[/quote]
Why on earth would you need to use these terms or way of talking?

There's an age-appropriate way to explain biological functions that doesn't have to be overly detailed or use harsh terminology like 'stick it up me'

I think its a missed opportunity to explain. My boy/girl twins would come into the toilets with me in airports so they have known about periods since they were 2 years old. What's that mum? Its the blood women have in their tummy to carry babies but if you don't have a baby it comes out once a month.

Best thing is to answer matter-of-factly. Children are very accepting and easily bored so you'll probably find that once you've got halfway through your explanation, they've wandered off or found something more interesting to look at/talk about. Don't hide the sanpro - makes it seem like it's something nasty. Loo paper is on full view, so why not sanpro? Don't behave like our mothers!!

For those unsure how to bring it up if you don't have periods so can't just explain as you go, how about next time you're in a public toilet and there's a sanitary bin start explaining "I'll tell you what this special bin is for.."

Blimey, my. DDs have watched me have periods since they were babies 😂 DD1 was around 3 when she started to look concerned & asked me why I was bleeding. I told her it was called a period & all girls get them when they become a bit older, probably a teenager. I said it’s nothing to worry about, it doesn’t hurt or mean I am hurt (which is a lie, it bloody hurts 😩 but for now, I’ll omit that concern!). I concluded with saying having a period means one day you can have a baby, when you are an adult. She asked no further questions.

DD1 is 5 now & merely glances at me & says ‘oh DD2 - mummy’s having her bleeding, let’s get her a tampon.. what colour shall we choose?’ 🤣 it cracks me up!

Be open & honest. It’s by far the best way. I don’t give a shit if people know I’m on my period. We all have them unless you take a certain pill or have medical issues. I’ll happily grab a tampon from my bag, pop it in my jeans pocket & go to the toilet. My colleagues or friends see me, oh well 🤷🏼‍♀️

My DD walked in when I was changing a tampon when she was about that age - “Mummy, what are you putting up your fanny?” and one fell out of my pocket when I was at SIL’s and older DN asked what it was, DD helpfully told her “my Mummy puts those up her fanny” Oops

My nieces found my mum's sanitary towels (Dr Whites with the loops so a long while ago) , she told them they were for her feet! The eldest said that was odd because mummy put them in her pants !

@MotherOfCrocodiles

I'm amazed by the prevailing view that you take your kids to the loo with you and they see you change your tampons. Doesn't the lack of privacy bother you? I'd be very uncomfortable.

Anyway I reckon it's ok to honestly answer questions and no more- if some are happy that kids watch you on the loo, bring you pads etc that's fine but if like me you wouldn't like that, you don't have to involve them if you don't want to, we don't give up the right to as much privacy as we are comfortable with just because we are mothers

I agree. Both my ds and dd are au fait with my sanitary products, including experimenting with tampons by dipping them in water 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

But fuck am I letting them see me change. I used to find the smell disgusting when my mum used to do it - I think she had heavy periods like I did.

So I let dd practise with clean products and when the time comes she’ll be ready to go. And I know she’ll be well equipped to handle it and she will come to me for help.

My daughter informed me at 6 years old that women have blood when they go to the toilet. She had seen blood in a public toilet and I get no privacy when I go at home. I just explained about periods in basic terms. I started at 10 so if she takes after me, there's no point me lying.

Hmmm, you're already reacting strangely about it by needing to be on here asking....just tell her what it is. I have three boys under 5, to them it's mummy's nappies which they find amusing. The five year old has asked more in depth questions so I've explained that it's a period, it happens once a month and it's when the egg inside me isn't going to become a baby....I have three, I'm not having anymore and 5 year old knows this although he want's 10 more babies! I've explained that although it's blood it isn't sore. Although I guess if I still got period pains it would be...still plenty to discuss and we will! Relax, it's so much better t know about it. Mine started on my first day of high school, I came home and went to the toilet and was horrified. Mum gave me all the stuff but she was never particularly open about it all and having to sneak out the bathroom to find the "period bin" in her room with no siblings spotting me was horrendous!

Haven’t rtft but my girls are often in loo with me and periods have been discussed often, I’m amazed there are mums who can choose to have the privacy!!

@Cherryblossoms85

Oh dear, mirena is depriving me of the opportunity of ever finding a reason to broach the subject! I can't say I'm that disappointed

If you have girls you do realise you'll have to tell them sooner or later right?

@HellToTheNope

She asked me what they were… I just changed the subject and distracted her as I wasn’t sure what to say. I don’t want periods to be weird or taboo like they were with my mum growing up.

Well, you just did that, I'm afraid. You are quite literally behaving exactly as your mother would have. Tell her the truth, FGS. It's a normal part of being female and there's no reason on earth you can't talk to her about this.

@HellToTheNope

I think the OP is aware of that which is why she has started the thread asking for advice on how to explain this .

@waterlego

I'm amazed by the prevailing view that you take your kids to the loo with you and they see you change your tampons. Doesn't the lack of privacy bother you? I'd be very uncomfortable.

Have you never needed to use a public loo with a toddler in tow?

Mine ALWAYS have had to come in a public toilet with me...or come in the bathroom at home! It's no big deal they don't even bat an eyelids. They know what periods are but even as toddlers they knew it was 'mummy's bleeding' and I would often be laying with a hot water bottle too!

Same here @Chakraleaf. Some posters obviously like more privacy when they use the loo but it never really bothered me when my kids wandered in.

My 4 year old lined his pants with tissue , when asked he said mummy does it so I wanted to do it too

Your post has reminded me of my attempt at explaining the facts of life to my son, I think he was 6. He had just got out of the bath and asked how you have children, I said something about him having sperm and the woman has an egg - he lifted up his willy to look and said 'can I only have two children then? It was bad!

@adagio

My kids had the full kit and caboodle truthful explanation as soon as they asked (age 3 or 4 I think). As in - a womens body gets ready every month to prepare to have a baby in her tummy but if daddy doesn’t put I’ve there they have a period (blood in your pants). You’ll have them too when you are older. I believe honesty is the best policy.

Exactly this, my 3 year old asked me just this week why there was blood in my underwear. Age appropriate truth is best in my opinion. She just said ah ok. And carried on doing what ever she was doing, no big deal. 😊