5 year old found sanpro

[Ilikecheeseontoast]

So my just turned 5yo daughter found my sanpro in the bathroom. I don’t hide them away they were just in the cupboard. She asked me what they were… I just changed the subject and distracted her as I wasn’t sure what to say. I don’t want periods to be weird or taboo like they were with my mum growing up. My mum is such a prude that even as a 40 year old married woman I could never say words like period/tampons/sex/vagina etc in her presence. She just gets all embarrassed and weird. Periods are a normal human function and I want both my sons and daughters to view them that way. However, I’m thinking that too much info at a young age maybe isn’t appropriate?!! Gaaaa. How would you wise old mumsnetters handle such questions??

Those are for grownup ladies, you don’t need to worry about it for a while

But why? Something so basic, so natural.

I answer questions all bloody day long, as I imagine most parents of 4 year olds do. Why not answer that one?

Ds3 is often in the bathroom with me and has seen me changing a pad. He's fascinated and curious by the blood but completely unphased and knows why it happens and that it's normal.

I've answered 100 questions on it including 'do you sometimes use a pad for when you need a poo as well as for the blood?' 😂😂

I had my DD when she was 3 calling to me up the garden from the house that she found a tampon (I had taken it out of my handbag). Not sure if the neighbours heard her. She never saw me use one and never questioned what it was for. I did talk about towels though.

I had explained as she had seen me go to the toilet etc and seen blood. I told her I had a little sleeping bag inside which had a special lining for babies ... But if a baby didn't grow it came out and it made a new one. She knew about sleeping bags and it was what came to mind in the moment. She's nearly 6 now and although I've mentioned the real names she still refers to it as a sleeping bag/sleepy bag

I have a ‘baby bed’ too 😉 And my then 3 year old DS also used to love playing with my tampons, lining them up like carriages of a long express train…

OP, I know how you feel. I too came from a family of prudes… It did not feel natural to me to start talking openly about periods etc with my DS, but I forced myself never to shy away from any opportunity he gave me, and I am so glad of this now. I’ve broken the line of prudish families! He’s at secondary school now and doesn’t squirm with embarrassment at any mention of sex, periods, etc., He’s actually a little confused why a few of his friends are so extremely self-conscious about it all…

My tip would be just to answer the question that they have asked. Very young children are naturally unselfconscious question askers, so treat it no differently to any other question. When they want to know more, they will be sure to let you know! So, for instance, my then 3 year old DS would ask “What’s this?” and I’d just reply “A tampon.” At some point at a later time, that would progress to “What’s it for?” to “Where does it go?” and so on… Children are very good at asking for information as they are developmentally ready to process it. Don’t hide the sanpro and good luck with being the first in a long line of non-prude parents!

Just talk about it If she had found a sticking plaster you would just tell her Same deal here

I don’t have a period because I use a coil. I have a 5 yo DD and I can’t think of a way to bring it up naturally when it isn’t part of day to life… any ideas?

@FelicityPike, I don’t think you should feel ashamed or guilty. If you aren’t having periods yourself, then the subject won’t have naturally arisen. It’s not as though you’ve lied to your child. I imagine your child will at some point ask questions about where babies come from, and mentioning periods can be part of that conversation.

When my DS was 5 he shouted mummy come and look at all of these mice in the bathroom. I ran in thinking we had an infestation and he had my tampax floating in the sink. Those were the days when they were just in a small cardboard tube he had found the box and dropped them in water. He didn’t ask what they were 🤷🏻‍♀️

As for answering questions I followed my own mothers lead she always answered questions honestly with age appropriate language, nothing was a surprise when it started happening.

Just explain. Didn’t she go to the loo with you when she was tiny? My son saw sanitary pads many times from day one, I explained in age appropriate terms what they were any time it came up, and well before age four he had a firm grasp of the whole process including reproduction.

Don’t see the point mystifying it. Particularly for girls! So many girls in history didn’t understand how to protect themselves from pregnancy or what touching is not ok - I’d teach her the facts of life asap.

5 is way too young to learn about periods, sex and pregnancy. Let her be a kid. Just say “they’re mummy’s” or “only women use these.” She doesn’t really need to learn about puberty until she’s around 8.

I'm surprised it took so long for her to find /see them and ask.
DD knew all about from 3 and often asked to hear the baby "story".

She also insisted in calling them nappies which was great fun when in a public toilet.

There's nothing cringy, embarrassing, or "wait until you're older" about it.

She also "learned" about contraception at about 4 when I had my implant put in and asked what it was and why my arm is sore.

Sex came much much later because she had no interest in how the baby actually happened and refused to acknowledge her dad having anything to do with it.

@HotDogKetchup

My three year old found some sanitary towels and I just told him they’re ladies nappies.

Poor kid. So you want to associate incontinence with periods?

@MsProbably my mother told me about periods when I asked her why my aunt didn’t have children. She used that as a way in to explain about periods and babies.

@Sushi7

5 is way too young to learn about periods, sex and pregnancy. Let her be a kid. Just say “they’re mummy’s” or “only women use these.” She doesn’t really need to learn about puberty until she’s around 8.

But why?

It's a normal function - there's no such thing as being 'too young'. Be age appropriate in language & content.

Like most of the posters here, my DC have known forever. My boys are now teen / preteen & I've a teenage daughter. It's utterly matter of fact to discuss periods and they understand exactly what they are, and no euphemistic language is used.

When I found my mums tampons aged 5, she said they were for nosebleeds and I inserted one in each of her nostrils to see how that would work. She never did explain what they actually were, but then she never discussed periods with me either.

My DC all saw my sanitary pads in the bathroom at one point or another. There was never taboo around it. I remember my DS once took came running to find me, pulled me upstairs and proudly showed my how he'd stuck an entire packet of them to his bedroom wall and drawn dinosaurs on some of them with a felt tip. I was always honest with them about what they were and why women had to use them.

@HotDogKetchup

My three year old found some sanitary towels and I just told him they’re ladies nappies.

But they are not, are they? Wfh would you call them nappies?

Women usually don't wear nappies. However most (not all) women use sanitary products of one kind or another.

Oh, gosh, my 2yo comes into the loo with me so knows I have periods: she calls it tampon week and it’s her favourite week, she’s always asking me and anyone else who goes near a loo “Do you need a tampon?” and jumps with delight if the answer is yes. God knows why.

Anyway, her only concern ever was if the blood was hurty and she was happy with the explanation that grown-up girls have blood in tampon week, it’s not hurty blood, it’s in case you want a baby. I figured that was simple enough and explanation enough for two. She’s largely glossed over that part and just likes the unveiling of a fresh tampon from the box part.

@Sushi7

5 is way too young to learn about periods, sex and pregnancy. Let her be a kid. Just say “they’re mummy’s” or “only women use these.” She doesn’t really need to learn about puberty until she’s around 8.

Some girls get their periods at 8,by then it's too late. Even if not, their bodies do start changing and it's better to be prepared,know about it , finding it all normal and run of the mill rather than being hit with it all at once.

There's nothing not innocent about a child knowing about periods.

Never hidden anything either, and nor did my DM - it's a natural bodily function that most women go through.
Your uterus builds up a layer for the egg to sink into if you get pregnant, otherwise it has a clear out every month (ish).
I also added that it proved God is a man!!!

My DS has been fetching them out of the cupboard for me for about 2 years (he's 4). Very helpful.

Just give a quick and simple explanation. It's not a big deal.

@ea

Because it was something he can relate to, to help him understand. He wouldn’t have understood the description you have given.

@legalseagull OK thanks, I will blame baby brain for that one! I thought it was a brand or specific product 😅

@EarringsandLipstick It's a normal function - there's no such thing as being 'too young'. Be age appropriate in language & content.

Obviously periods are normal and shouldn’t be ashamed of. However, I feel uncomfortable with the following conversation:

Mum: This is a tampon. I stick it up me so I don’t bleed out into my knickers.

Dc (who cry when they see their bloody knee): Why are you bleeding so much??

Mum: I bleed every month. It’s because sperm didn’t fertilise my egg. proceeds to talk about the process of how mum and dad have sex, how mum falls pregnant, how baby comes out

Just sounds way too traumatising at the age of 5. Dc only need to know when they’re approaching puberty.

@Imsittinginthekitchensink

My then toddler used to offer everyone Tampax - green one or yellow one? - if they used the toilet while visiting. Took a while for it to be a women only offer. It was never a secret or hidden.

My 2yo offers to get me “things for your bum” every time I go to the loo. She’s fascinated. She calls pads nappies and tampons bum sticks

I'm amazed she has never seen them before. I have 2 DS, aged 5 and 6 who have only recently stopped coming into the bathroom when I'm on the loo. I say stopped, they no longer come in every time. So they've seen sanpro months for years.

@FelicityPike no need to feel ashamed. It's definitely easier and more natural when the kids see it and ask questions, especially if young. They kinda just roll with it and then you build up on that as they grow.

You can use animals, if anyone you know is having kittens or puppies, or if anyone is pregnant. Have they asked where babies come from yet? There are some books you could read with her. Or if she ever asks about bodies and how you have hair on your legs,or breasts or whatever and then use that. You can watch Turning red together, as that talks about periods a bit but it's not the actual focus of the movie and explain that way. There are various ways, and now that you're aware you can pick the one that is most comfortable and easy for you.