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Parenting

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Original poster

5 year old found sanpro

143 replies

Ilikecheeseontoast · 03/04/2022 19:47

So my just turned 5yo daughter found my sanpro in the bathroom. I don’t hide them away they were just in the cupboard. She asked me what they were… I just changed the subject and distracted her as I wasn’t sure what to say. I don’t want periods to be weird or taboo like they were with my mum growing up. My mum is such a prude that even as a 40 year old married woman I could never say words like period/tampons/sex/vagina etc in her presence. She just gets all embarrassed and weird. Periods are a normal human function and I want both my sons and daughters to view them that way. However, I’m thinking that too much info at a young age maybe isn’t appropriate?!! Gaaaa. How would you wise old mumsnetters handle such questions??

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2MinuteRice · 03/04/2022 20:23

@adagio

My kids had the full kit and caboodle truthful explanation as soon as they asked (age 3 or 4 I think). As in - a womens body gets ready every month to prepare to have a baby in her tummy but if daddy doesn’t put I’ve there they have a period (blood in your pants). You’ll have them too when you are older. I believe honesty is the best policy.

I did this too. Eldest DS has never had an issue with any of it, he is now an adult, and will pick me up some if I'm really clear about which ones! Younger two are girls and also accepted it. There is no embarrassment in our hours regarding periods.

DS did go through a stage of opening my tampons and using them as part of his brio train set, buffers apparently...

PeterPomegranate · 03/04/2022 20:24

If you don’t want to be like your mum I’d leave some san pro on display in the bathroom and engineer another opportunity to try again with an age appropriate conversation about periods. Lots of suggestions above.

Good luck. I know it’s hard to change parenting patterns but it sounds like you want to.

Koalaslippers · 03/04/2022 20:25

I've been gradually giving more information since my DD (5) was old enough to notice. She asks questions now and again and I answer the best I can. The most recent has been does it hurt, I said sometimes it hurts a little as I don't want her worrying but also didn't want her to think it didn't.

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5 year olds Behaviour & development General parenting

Haggisfish3 · 03/04/2022 20:25

I said it was because the baby bed came out of a woman’s vagina once a month. I showed them (ds and dd) in the loo so they k ew what it looked like. Did not allow any disgust when discussing it.

thebabynanny · 03/04/2022 20:27

Plenty of primary aged girls have periods so it's not really true that it's only for "grown up ladies".

I've just told mine a simple version of the truth - every month the womb gets ready for a baby and makes a big squishy bloody cushion, and if it's not needed then it has to come out.

Just10moreminutesplease · 03/04/2022 20:28

I’d just tell them that they are for periods with a simple explanation of what this means. Like you say, it’s a normal bodily function. There’s nothing inappropriate about them.

Iwanttobestronger · 03/04/2022 20:30

My parents never told me anything about bodies, relationships etc, it meant that I hid most things from then. As a result when my sister and I were young adults we used to discuss that we both planned to tell our children about it all as they ask or as it comes up. I have found that if you are honest from a young age it is never an embarrassing topic to discuss.

I hope that my daughter won’t hide an abortion from me as I did with my mother.

legalseagull · 03/04/2022 20:32

I find your reaction strange TBH. My 3 and 4yo's have both seen me changing tampons because the little swines won't give me a second alone! I told them it's a special plaster for mummy's vagina because she's on her period. They really don't ask any more and lose interest immediately

ComDummings · 03/04/2022 20:33

@Just10moreminutesplease

I’d just tell them that they are for periods with a simple explanation of what this means. Like you say, it’s a normal bodily function. There’s nothing inappropriate about them.

This is the way to do it ^ Keep it simple, every month women who don’t have a baby in their tummy get a little bit of blood so the sanitary towels keep your pants clean. My 2 have accepted this explanation with no drama or fear. Once they’re a little older they can learn in more detail.

AreWeThereYetMummy · 03/04/2022 20:33

I think you just have to get over this.

Why would it be too young?

You are setting up the same situation/ atmosphere created by your mum otherwise.

My older son asked what the signs in the toilets meant when he was 6. So I told him.

When his brother asked, also aged 6 what the box in the bathroom was, my then 8 year old explained (really well!).

But then again, they also know all about the logistics of sex because the older one asked and got very annoyed at my age appropriate explanations. So, I took a deep breath and gave him the detail. He isnt traumatised and will hopefully be happy to ask me any further questions as they come up.

Blossom64265 · 03/04/2022 20:34

Dontbuyanewmumcashmere. Has the script down

Also look for the “it’s not the stork” book series.

We started these conversations at 3 in an age appropriate way. I’m really glad we did because my dd turned out not to be NT and she has a serious blood phobia. We were terrified at what would happen when puberty hit. Thankfully, 9 years of conversations did the trick because she didn’t react any differently than any other teenage girl.

TheMoth · 03/04/2022 20:34

I've always been totally open.

Ds is 12 and I think I've covered most of it. All the way up to Internet porn and sharing images etc. I tend to bounce in if I've been doing pshe in my school and start with:"have you done this in your pshe lessons yet? Right. Here we go then. 😁"

Greatoutdoors · 03/04/2022 20:34

I told my boys that mummies have eggs in their tummy to make babies, and if they don’t make a baby the mum has a little bleed. They were happy with that explanation .

INeedNewShoes · 03/04/2022 20:35

I’ve been matter of fact about this since dd first asked at around 3 years old, pointing at it as I got one from the cupboard. what a tampon was.

They don’t need a lot of info but I do think they simple explanations to these questions, unless you want to give the impression that periods are embarrassing/shameful.

It’s surely easier to introduce these concepts at a young age with a small amount of information rather than have to have a big sit down conversation at 9 if it’s all been hidden until then.

Uptohighdoh · 03/04/2022 20:35

I've never heard of San Pro?

DreamTheMoors · 03/04/2022 20:35

I took a women’s studies class at university years ago.
This very subject came up, and a woman spoke up and said that her young daughter walked in on her applying medication for a yeast infection and asked what she was doing.
The woman said she told her daughter that she was “chasing away the ‘yeastie beasties.’”
The rest of us went full on cringe.

RosaBaby2 · 03/04/2022 20:38

@purpleme12

My child has known forever We don't close the door when we go to the toilet 🤣 It's been pretty natural

Are we odd?

Absolutely not. We're exactly the same here - lo (3) knows mummy has blood/pads and that it's normal. He sees all the time and doesn't bat an eyelid

legalseagull · 03/04/2022 20:39

@Uptohighdoh

I've never heard of San Pro?

Sanitary products

LostOrFound · 03/04/2022 20:40

Just treat it like you’ve been asked something totally ordinary, it doesn’t have to be a big deal.

Do they at least know the very basics of where babies come from (that they grow inside out etc). If so it’s easy to explain that your body makes it nice and cosy for an egg to grow into a baby, but if there’s no egg ready to become a baby then it all gets washed out with blood.

If they don’t even know the basics of babies then you really owe it to your DD to get an she appropriate book on the topic.

LostOrFound · 03/04/2022 20:43

that they grow inside you, not grow inside out FGS!

TheVolturi · 03/04/2022 20:43

Is nothing taboo or to hide or be ashamed of? My kids know and my youngest is 4. I told them that each month if a woman does not get pregnant, her womb (where baby grows) sheds the lining and it bleeds. That it doesn't mean I'm poorly and isn't anything to be worried about. They were all like, uh, OK.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 03/04/2022 20:43

I always said “yep, they’re for mummy when I have my period” then moved on to a different conversation. I’m super open because I started my period age 9 with no clue and actually thought I was dying.

trailrunner85 · 03/04/2022 20:43

It's only really just occured to me that I've never had the period talk with my kids - the subject has never come up as I don't have periods myself.
My DD is 6 - any suggestions for how to naturally weave it into conversation? Seems much easier when they've been around periods, tampons etc from being young, but mine have never had that!

FelicityPike · 03/04/2022 20:46

@trailrunner85

It's only really just occured to me that I've never had the period talk with my kids - the subject has never come up as I don't have periods myself. My DD is 6 - any suggestions for how to naturally weave it into conversation? Seems much easier when they've been around periods, tampons etc from being young, but mine have never had that!

I’m the same. Feeling a little ashamed/ guilty that this has never came up from reading these comments.

HotDogKetchup · 03/04/2022 20:48

My three year old found some sanitary towels and I just told him they’re ladies nappies.

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