Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

5 year old found sanpro

143 replies

Ilikecheeseontoast · 03/04/2022 19:47

So my just turned 5yo daughter found my sanpro in the bathroom. I don’t hide them away they were just in the cupboard. She asked me what they were… I just changed the subject and distracted her as I wasn’t sure what to say. I don’t want periods to be weird or taboo like they were with my mum growing up. My mum is such a prude that even as a 40 year old married woman I could never say words like period/tampons/sex/vagina etc in her presence. She just gets all embarrassed and weird. Periods are a normal human function and I want both my sons and daughters to view them that way. However, I’m thinking that too much info at a young age maybe isn’t appropriate?!! Gaaaa. How would you wise old mumsnetters handle such questions??

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
2bazookas · 03/04/2022 21:47

5 is way too young to learn about periods, sex and pregnancy.

Nonsense.
Many if not most 5 yr olds know they came out of Mum's tummy, are going to see other pregnant women, new siblings, and ask questions about how it got in and out. They need simple clear answers to their questions, in an everyday context they can understand.

coodawoodashooda · 03/04/2022 21:48

@cherryonthecakes

My kids knew by age 5. The younger they know the more blasé they are about it where as if you wait too long it becomes something to be scared of or embarrassing. My kids saw it as the equivalent of growing hair on legs- something for grown ups.
I think this too.
ldontWanna · 03/04/2022 21:49

@MotherOfCrocodiles

I'm amazed by the prevailing view that you take your kids to the loo with you and they see you change your tampons. Doesn't the lack of privacy bother you? I'd be very uncomfortable.

Anyway I reckon it's ok to honestly answer questions and no more- if some are happy that kids watch you on the loo, bring you pads etc that's fine but if like me you wouldn't like that, you don't have to involve them if you don't want to, we don't give up the right to as much privacy as we are comfortable with just because we are mothers

Well to be fair, I rarely used tampons so while she knows about them,DD has only seen me use pads. If I can pee in front of her, and when out and about that wasn't a choice,she can see me changing a pad.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

5 year olds Behaviour & development General parenting
Chakraleaf · 03/04/2022 21:49

Mine have know from little as always used to follow me in. Plus I have a older teen so Sanpro always in bathroom, all the kids know what it is and what it is for. No big deal xx

waterlego · 03/04/2022 21:49

I'm amazed by the prevailing view that you take your kids to the loo with you and they see you change your tampons. Doesn't the lack of privacy bother you? I'd be very uncomfortable.

Have you never needed to use a public loo with a toddler in tow?

thebabynanny · 03/04/2022 21:51

@waterlego

I'm amazed by the prevailing view that you take your kids to the loo with you and they see you change your tampons. Doesn't the lack of privacy bother you? I'd be very uncomfortable.

Have you never needed to use a public loo with a toddler in tow?

I've never needed to change a tampon in public toilet with a toddler in tow, and thats with over a decade as a parent and childcarer.
Cherryblossoms85 · 03/04/2022 21:53

Oh dear, mirena is depriving me of the opportunity of ever finding a reason to broach the subject! I can't say I'm that disappointed Grin

thebabynanny · 03/04/2022 21:54

@ldontWanna

That's fine if that's what you want to do, but I have really never had any desire to have children watch me on the toilet. Also don't remember ever wanting to watch my parents on the toilet. It's not that amazing

NO ONE has any desire for their kid to watch them on the toilet. But going to the toilet in public toilets is a thing, so is kids bursting in or needing you then and there, or needing the toilet while your precious is having an hour long bath and so on.

Occasionally having to take a small child into the cubicle on a public toilet is one thing, but I haven't had children bursting in or watching me empty mooncups. Not saying it's wrong, just not something I would have ever thought of doing. I see going to the toilet as a private thing.
SunshineCake1 · 03/04/2022 21:55

My adage is, if they are old enough to ask the question they are old enough to receive the respect of an answer.

You are copying you mum even if you think you aren't.

And ffs sanpro has to be the most annoying stupid attempt at being cool with abbreviations ever. Not aimed at you OP as I know you didn't come up with it.

SpaceRaiders · 03/04/2022 21:59

How have you managed to escape that talk for so long? I’ve had an audience in the bathroom as soon as both dd’s could crawl. I’ve had to shush the loud commentary plenty of times in public loos whilst they were little. The great thing is it’s opened up conversations about periods, where babies come from etc. I ended up buying a girls body book for Dd1 but Dd2 who was 6 at the time time took a huge interest in it. She spent hours reading it every night before bed only to go to school and start schooling the boys all that she’d learnt!Hmm

takingmytimeonmyride · 03/04/2022 21:59

My kids never followed me into the toilet at home, but when they were small they came in the public toilets with me. I have heavy periods so couldn't really be avoided. Therefore they knew what was going on from a young age as I was honest with them. One DS called them "Mummy's nappy plasters" which I thought was amusing (especially has he has SEN and had limited speech at the time)

Definitely not too young to learn about periods, pregnancy etc if they ask. I have one that never asked, and a couple that asked every question about every possible thing! I always answered honestly, and age appropriately.

Miyazaker · 03/04/2022 22:01

DS1 (6) knows a bit about the facts of life and puberty, but I like my privacy in the bathroom and he's never seen me change a tampon (bf so didn't have periods while on mat leave with DS2). Guess I'll have to wait for female puberty to come up.

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/04/2022 22:05

Lots of good advice above. I found it helpful to describe the actual tampons and towels as ‘like a plaster’.

waterlego · 03/04/2022 22:05

Well that’s lucky @thebabynanny. I expect quite a lot of us have been in that exact situation though and I’m sure you can understand that. Sometimes a tampon or cup reaches its limit when a woman is out and about and it’s not like one can just wait till one gets home. 🤷🏼‍♀️

MotherOfCrocodiles · 03/04/2022 22:05

@waterlego no- well I might do a quick wee while in with them but generally there is the option to leave them with DH as we are usually all together when out. Just circumstances probably - can see for others the situation might arise more. But I'm more surprised by people having kids in the loo with them at home, I have never done this- when they were too small to leave unsupervised for 2min I sat them in their cots. I mean, it's great that people are relaxed about this but I'm also comfortable with my boundaries where they are!

waterlego · 03/04/2022 22:07

Yes, each to their own @MotherOfCrocodiles. I spent a lot of time out and about with my two when they were little and DH was working. No choice but to take them in the loo with me.

Coyoacan · 03/04/2022 22:08

It's kinder to tell them young so it does come as a horrible shock

Skinterior · 03/04/2022 22:09

My DS has known mummy bleeds once a month forever. No locks on the bathroom door and he's always just wandered in, so he's seen everything.

He's completely unfazed by it. As he's got older we've explained babies etc, but bit by bit and at age appropriate points

CheesecakeAddict · 03/04/2022 22:10

Dd is like my shadow and I don't even get any peace going to the toilet, so she asked questions early on. I answer them matter-of-factly but also age-appropriate. I was 16 when I started my period and it was never spoken of at home or school, so when it did happen, I freaked out and thought I was dying. I don't want that to happen to her. Dd is 4 now, she knows mummy uses a mooncup to catch the blood and that I bleed sometimes but not all the time, and it can't be held in, it's not an injury so she doesn't need to be sad (she thought I was hurt), it's normal and when she's older, she will also bleed. She doesn't know why periods happen, but she hasn't asked that question yet. I like what the pp said about them asking questions they were ready to hear the answer to.

Whiskeypowers · 03/04/2022 22:11

Sanpro
WTAF

All three of my kids - two boys and a girl -
Know exactly what tampons and sanitary towels are for
They know why and how I use them
They know how periods relate to babies and having a baby. It has been explained to them in an age appropriate way

They aren’t frightened if I have my period.

On the other hand if I hadn’t told them all at various points over the last 8 years they would all have been traumatised by my having bled through clothes, been in the bathroom for hours , hot water bottle on my tummy laid low with menstrual migraines and of course inevitably seeing blood as they invade every visit I make to the bathroom.

This approach also headed off loads of standard mad questions associated with the subject

I find it very peculiar why grown women are reluctant to broach the subject when it is ultimately a bodily function and setting tight lipped or evasive enhances misinformation and taboos

Daffodilz · 03/04/2022 22:21

I taught RE and it still saddens me to think that samaritans helpline was set up by a priest when a young girl of 11 in his parish in London started her periods, didn't understand and committed suicide.

It's a normal part of life. My 4 year old daughter knows from my love of CTM that ladies "poop out babies, the Dr helps you then you get a cup of tea and toast,'' probably shouldn't have had it on but lockdown was LOnnnnnnnggggg and she loves it too. Probably have a gynaecologist in the making.

Lougle · 03/04/2022 22:24

These conversations change as they grow. Sex starts as 'Mummy and Daddy have a special cuddle.' By year 5 (9-10) they have formal sex education at school and a small but growing proportion of girls will already be having periods.

I have 2 girls with SN and one who is very particular about cleanliness. Periods have been a real struggle for them but because we've always talked openly about them they could tell me and we've dealt with the issues. If I hadn't been open with them they could be struggling with it on their own.

DH was brought up in a very prudish household so it's been really good for him, too, to develop a healthier relationship with women's health. He'll happily but whatever the girls need now, whereas when we were first together he almost fainted at the thought of buying me Tampax, etc.

Kuachui · 03/04/2022 22:25

ive been telling my kids i was on my period and needed to change my sanitary pas since they were 1 and followed me into the toilet. my son was always very concerned for my wellbeing 😂😂but atleast i know itll be a normal thing

EarringsandLipstick · 03/04/2022 22:27

Because it was something he can relate to, to help him understand. He wouldn’t have understood the description you have given.

But it's incorrect information. They aren't nappies. They aren't analogous to nappies.

Of course he'd have understood that women bleed once a month or so if they don't have a baby in their tummies. Why wouldn't he?

Unforgettablefire · 03/04/2022 22:29

My daughter asked me the same question around the same age. I said the first thing that came to my head “they’re for my ears” Confused 🤦🏻‍♀️
She sat staring at it for ages then put it down and went off to play forgetting all about it.