Should a 6 month-old be requiring 24h attention?

[wednesdaychild80]

For over a month now my 6 month-old baby boy has been unable to be alone for more than 5min (10 if I'm lucky) without starting to scream. It doesn't even look like crying. Starts as groaning, then slowly builds to insane screaming.

When we play with him, or give him direct attention, he's fine and all giggly. He sleeps enough, but scattered. Feeding has been a struggle too, but mostly he behaves.

This is my first baby. I knew a baby would demand a lot of time, but I wasn't expecting I'd need to be (literally) 24h tending to him directly. Is this normal? If not, how to deal with it? My pediatrician just says it's normal, and that he's healthy.

When he was younger he did scream sometimes, but most of the time he'd just be lying/sitting quietly, or just doing cute baby sounds.

Some babies are pretty high needs and it can feel relentless. It will not be forever. You need someone to give you breaks. Is he happy on walks in buggy / sling?

Normal, all three of mine were high maintenance until they reached CBeebies age.

When you say 'alone' what do you mean - in a different room, or in the same room but getting on with other things?

Hi, thanks!

He is happy in the buggy. My problem isn't really making him calm down. It's the fact that he only calms down when I'm directly doing something with him (such as walking him in the buggy).

Sling he isn't happy with. Otherwise would be a way to get things done without needing to be so fully engaged.

Both our families live very far, so no help other than us unfortunately.

@Createdjustforthis

Normal, all three of mine were high maintenance until they reached CBeebies age.

Thanks for sharing! I had to google CBeebies. I see it's a tv show for kids, right?

I really wouldn't want to use tv (or tablet) to distract him... I even avoid letting him see the screen of our mobiles and laptops.

@jusdepamplemousse

Some babies are pretty high needs and it can feel relentless. It will not be forever. You need someone to give you breaks. Is he happy on walks in buggy / sling?

Sorry, new here! Didn't know I had to Quote :)

@Fernandina

When you say 'alone' what do you mean - in a different room, or in the same room but getting on with other things?

Good question! To be clear, I mean by himself but with us around.

Oh I remember PFB days..... from friends anyway! Fortunately I learned from them and accepted early on that you take help if it's offered - use the tools that are available to you, etc - even if that's sitting them in from of the tv in a Bumbo for 15 mins just to give you time to make a drink/ lunch/sit & chill!

Don't write off kids every yet - some of it is actually educational and it can help build up their attention span and not constantly needing YOU with them every waking second.

I think it really does depend on the baby. Some don’t like being left alone.
If he was your second there would probably be more crying as you would not be able to give him immediate attention if dealing with older child.
I take it he has things to play with? Mine liked watching the washing machine and white noise helped too.
Usually it’s a phase and won’t last forever.
Do you have some other friends with babies at similar age or attend babu groups? That can help.

My baby was similar. It is normal. He was better with distractions out of the house so I took him out a lot.

How is he if you narrate what you’re doing to him?

Some babies do need this much attention, it is normal

I even avoid letting him see the screen of our mobiles and laptops

why?

Have I read this wrong? 24 hours per day attention is normal? What about when they're asleep? Isn't the average for this age about 14 hours per day?

This is what peekaboo is for - teaches littlies that mum can 'disappear' but she always comes back.

Try leaving the room for a couple of minutes then try to come back before the groaning starts with a big smile and a tickle for him.

Also, rethink no screens. Screens 24/7 = bad. Screen with age appropriate program for 5/10 mins = lifesaver.

Total normal. Totally exhausting.

It ends, somewhere about age 2.

PT work and 3 days a week childcare after 12 months saved my sanity

It’s more high needs than most babies. I would do the thing of talking to him in the vicinity without picking him up. So he knows he’s been attended to/getting attention but is not necessarily being carried around.

I would also sit on a playmat with some toys, play for a bit and then say ‘Mom will be back’, go away and then come back. Maybe long enough to make a cup of tea. And make a big deal about how you came back. This teaches him through repetition about object permanence and helps with separation anxiety.

(We are a low screen/no screen family as well). Also remember it’s ok for all kids including babies to get a bit bored occasionally and to be grumpy.

also but mostly he behaves.

Please change this mindset, he's not behaving/misbehaving. He's not being naughty.

Mine is like this, still I’m afraid. He’s 22months.
He’s never ever just been happy alone.

He doesn’t really even like playing with toys even with us. So we spend most the day outside, walking, playing, or indoors he helps with everything. Today he’s made cookies with me, laid floor underlay, park trip, supermarket, played with mud whilst i sorted some bits in garden ( he was happy doing that alone to be fair). Now back outside walking or in trike.

At 6 months I had to either put him in highchair next to me, in sling or carry to get anything done.

He won’t watch tv either ( i have tried)

It sounds totally normal to me, in my experience 5 minutes is a very long time for a baby to be alone. You have to take them everywhere, carry them most of the time. You say 24 hours - how does he sleep?

This is a tricky period, when they’re really aware and need entertainment, but mostly can’t crawl yet so can’t entertain themselves that well! It’s normal, but exhausting. You just have to take them with you and do stuff in small bursts, and tag team with your partner.

tbh I just put the telletubbies on for 20 mins and give her a few melty puffs and crack on with a few things - it's the only way I can get lunch sorted!!

What is he doing whilst you’re trying to get on with jobs? Does he have toys to play with or is he just sat? It sounds quite normal but you definitely need to leave him with some toys if you want to get anything done, or sit him in his highchair with some things to play with for example if you’re trying to do stuff in the kitchen. If you just leave the room then 5/10 minutes is a long time for them and it’s normal for them to cry so you’ll come back.

Everything is a phase with babies though. Could change in a few weeks. But yes basically they are hard work and you get stuff done while they’re asleep. The times they’re awake it’s hard to do much other than entertain them. It doesn’t last forever!

@Heyahun

tbh I just put the telletubbies on for 20 mins and give her a few melty puffs and crack on with a few things - it's the only way I can get lunch sorted!!

This. 20 mins won’t hurt your ds.

I also avoid screen time OP you're not alone there.