Should a 6 month-old be requiring 24h attention?

[wednesdaychild80]

For over a month now my 6 month-old baby boy has been unable to be alone for more than 5min (10 if I'm lucky) without starting to scream. It doesn't even look like crying. Starts as groaning, then slowly builds to insane screaming.

When we play with him, or give him direct attention, he's fine and all giggly. He sleeps enough, but scattered. Feeding has been a struggle too, but mostly he behaves.

This is my first baby. I knew a baby would demand a lot of time, but I wasn't expecting I'd need to be (literally) 24h tending to him directly. Is this normal? If not, how to deal with it? My pediatrician just says it's normal, and that he's healthy.

When he was younger he did scream sometimes, but most of the time he'd just be lying/sitting quietly, or just doing cute baby sounds.

Oh I’ve just seen you play with him a couple of hours a day and expected him to self soothe or self entertain the rest of the time so you could work. I mean yeah you’ve had your expectations set a bit too high I think! If the average 6 month old could sort themselves out 10 hours a day so we could work none of us would bother with nursery/shift work to swap parents/childminders etc!

One thing I found great for entertaining a baby was older siblings. My oldest ds was primary school age when dd was born and he used to be great at keeping the baby happy while I made dinner! Not much help to you unless you can borrow a bigger child.

My DS wasn't happy ever on his own. No bouncy chair, no car seat, no play mat. He'd just scream for me. I had to carry him around everywhere. I was exhausted and barely had time to eat. He wouldn't watch TV...I tried when I needed ten minutes peace. At 6 months old, I bought a jumoeroo. Used it twice a day and got 20 minutes each time, it was a life saver!
From 9 months old, he began to occupy himself a little in the day so I could at least drink a coffee. He's 19 months now and still likes a lot of attention but can also occupy himself lots now.
It'll get easier, hang in there! My friend had a similar baby for her first then her second was easy going as anything. Just depends on their personality.

My son was like this too and it was utterly exhausting. My daughter (his older sister) had been a very calm baby so it was a huge shock. I think now it is because he is very intelligent - but this has its own challenges. He is bored quickly and wants to do everything right now! He is hilarious and coming up with amazing new things all the time. But still exhausting!! Good luck x the only thing that helped at that age was getting two mornings a week at Creche. We also had no help at all and live away from our families.

Give him the tablet OP we all think we wont- and then we can’t have a pee in peace!
You can always reduce the screen time massively when baby is old enough to play themselves and honestly they won’t notice.
I used Peppa Pig and you’re forgetting all the Disney songs or singalong nursery rhymes which are fun for babies.
DC has a little tv in morning whilst I eat breakfast and now that’s about it- he’s happy with his toys or jumper now, has been since about 8 months

My son was EXACTLY the same... It was exhausting and relentless. I couldn't do anything without him demanding something... If I went to the loo he screamed, I couldn't eat or drink anything properly, walked around with holes in my shoes as he wouldn't let me look at shoes in the shop without demanding 100% attention, my brain could never think straight. Waiting in a queue in the shop and he'd scream to be out the buggy... Went to the forest, he'd scream to be out the buggy then scream to be in the buggy, then back out the buggy. I was worn emotionally to the bone. Someone nearby also had a baby same time, they could plonk baby anywhere and it would just happily sit and no nothing and demand nothing and they couldn't understand why I was stressed.

I promise you it's just personality of child and nothing you're doing wrong.

Ah bless you OP. If babies were happy alone whilst mum worked, why would anyone use nurseries? I'm assuming you're the first of your family and friends to have kids as this is very unrealistic. If you are working you need to arrange some childcare unfortunately. Good luck!

@Whatafielddayfortheheat

Ah bless you OP. If babies were happy alone whilst mum worked, why would anyone use nurseries? I'm assuming you're the first of your family and friends to have kids as this is very unrealistic. If you are working you need to arrange some childcare unfortunately. Good luck!

Yeah, I thought babies could just be by themselves for an hour, (with people nearby of course), at least a couple times a day. Silly me

I thought I'd only need a nursery when I needed a longer stretch of uninterrupted time. Like a full morning or afternoon.

Several babies in my life, from friends and family. But I didn't spend 24/7 with them.

Well to be fair you did say in an earlier post that you thought you could play with him for a couple of hours then would be able to ‘get on with work.’ So that’s where people have got that idea.

I thought babies could just be by themselves for an hour, (with people nearby of course), at least a couple times a day

Can you be by yourself, for an hour, a few times a day without any screens or entertainment?

I don't think she's suggesting leaving the baby without any entertainment, they do play with toys at 6mo. Just not for an hour. Their attention span is very underdeveloped.

Yeah I get that @BertieBotts but if you’re expecting a child to be left without excessive stimulation a screen for an hour more than once a day surely the adult should be able to be without excessive stimulation for an hour more than once a day?

I read and see how stents scolding their children for not ’playing alone’ whilst they’re engrossed in their screens.

Tbh yes I can spend a lot of time in the day not on a screen. I don’t expect a baby or toddler to sit and do nothing, but did assume as well that with toys, some music, books etc that a 6month old or a 2 years would be able to occupy themselves for 15mins or so.

At 6 months mine just crawled after me crying to be picked up again, even if I had put him on Mat with toys, Mirrors, music and was 2metres away trying to make some toast. Even now at almost 2 years he won’t ever just sit down and play with toys ( even if I’m sitting down with him)

I agree with the pp who said that babies vary eg DC1 was placid in nature so as long as I was with them would play in their high chair or sit at my feet banging things while I prepared food .DC2 was mobile at six months and had DC1 to entertain them.In their case the high chair or jumperoo was used as a prison to keep them pinned down for a minute if I had to see to DC1 or bring in the shopping or similar.
DC3 was firmly attached to me until they were about 4. No close in age playmate and never got to grips with either self soothing or paying alone.Thankfully all these phases pass

There’s no screens (which I understand, my 10 and 8 year old have no tablet time and only have cbbc for an hour a day) and there’s sensible screen time. Half an hour in front of the Octonauts when your child is 2 so you can stare into the middle distance and question your life choices is entirely appropriate.

Quite honestly you can’t expect a child under 3 to be self sufficient enough to entertain themselves for anything more than minutes at a time. If you need time to do things then you need to accept either paid help, get your partner to take over for a bit or stick in the night garden on.