Parents who had kids in the 70s/80s, can you answer this for me?

[LittleSnakes]

There’s always loads of comments on threads about how in the 80s or whenever, kids had much more freedom. Eg walking to school younger, playing out all day or suchlike. And now parents are too worried to let their kids do that and they do independent things much older than before. Back then, did you genuinely not feel the same worry as I would now, for example. Did you think that a 6 year old would be fine playing out all day and not think about bad things? I am so far away from that in my thinking that I can’t imagine what it would be like to be so relaxed about safety! So I’m curious about it. Was there less anxiety in general back then? Tell me more!

My children were born in the eighties. They didn't walk to school alone until they went to secondary school. Neither did they go out and play alone. If they were invited to friends houses we took then and picked them up. And it was the same for all their friends. We always knew where our children were.
It's not true that children born in the eighties had more freedom than now. It may be different for children born in the seventies and certainly life was very different when I grew up in the sixties, life was very different then. We had much, more freedom and would spend all day playing out with friends.

We were out all day in the 80s, we lived near a woodland and the kids all played there from a very early age. We also ate where we landed. Who's ever house we were at on a lunch time, thats where we ate, no matter how many of us. All our parents knew each other and went to school together. It was a lovely community feel, every adult in the street knew us all by name. It was so different to now.

My DC were born in the 1980s (1983, 1984 & 1986) They played out from 7 yrs old but never gone all day. If they wanted to go to the park or to someone's house they had to come and ask. They walked to school from about 9 but in reality I was still picking up the youngest so there were generally in my sight range

Not sure why I should be in my 80s - I'm 65

It just seems that it was very varied then. Not as universal as I thought it was.

Very varied, as is parenting in today’s era.
Everyone’s is different, add in a partner/family with different upbringing, the current climate etc and no one will be doing the same as anyone else does with their children.
I privately sad that my grandchildren don’t have the same outdoor unsupervised freedom as mine did but would never voice that as the world is a different place today from the 60’s/70’/80’s etc.

I had mine in the early seventies. They played outside a lot, but never where we couldn't see or hear them. Under about 8 they were always in my sight, later they would play out with friends and the parents would keep a collective eye on them. We did think that playing out in the fresh air was important.
Of course we were completely aware of dangers, it was hardly the dark ages. The children knew about stranger danger and other hazards.
We were certainly aware of a few neglectful parents, but it wasn't the norm.

Born 77 and spent the majority of my upbringing on a very safe new build estate, with green spaces, bridle ways and play areas. We had a tiny house and garden ( v expensive area 20 min train ride into Kings X) but large green outside and under 7 played there on bikes, skates etc… then could walk with Labrador dog to shops using the bridle path etc… my Dad was worried about cars and road sense tbh… I would also cycle to friends houses as a teen, certainly got myself to secondary school via walk and then school bus.

I wasn’t allowed out all day and Dad had to know exactly where I was but no I wasn’t actively supervised 24/7 but knew the rules and adhered to them ( plus Labrador was very protective, no one was coming near me as a child, not unless they shot the dog first)

I do think children are not allowed to grow up, play as they should. Now I live in NZ and have to say here kids play in the area. We know the kids ( certainly by sight) they sort of know us and that I feel makes a difference. One child came off his bike in front of my house a few months ago, scooped him up, took him in, he knew his Mum’s number so I called her, in between applying antiseptic cream/ chocolate biscuit and the largest ( bravery) plasters I could find. Mum turned up, thanked me, child sporting large plasters on both knees and grazes he could show off at school! With the suing culture and paranoia there is not a chance I would have done the same thing had I been back in the UK.

I also think with longer working hours in the UK there is perhaps less of a community where you do have a clear idea re your neighbours, people in your street. So when a kid needs help or ‘ borrows’ oranges from your tree in your front garden to hurl at his brother, you can chat nicely to the parents and the child is reminded that asking for help is fine, taking an orange with permission is also fine, wasting food to use as a missile is not fine! Parent does not get into a huge hissy fit that it wasn’t their child, make it out that you are demonising their child they just deal with things in a ‘ yep, kids do this stuff because they are kids, it’s no sweat’ and the children are spoken to and learn. Perhaps this trust is now missing?

It’s complex but the fear of crime/ lack of community I do believe is ensuring that children are over supervised and have far too little freedom to problem solve, experience ‘managed’ freedom and just have some time away from those bloody screens.

And I always try to be a non interfering judgemental mother/mother in law/ nanny.

Love the idea we are too old to use the internet. DH was a programmer in 1971, I was an IT in schools adviser in the 80s.
Bloody good job you had us to invent it for you, really. 😂😂😂

Not sure why you are being so snippy - we were asked for our experiences and I gave mine ! Yes, all my friends bar a couple worked full time

You gave yours but extrapolated that to “I don’t agree there were more SAHMs” except the figures show there were significantly more than there are today.

My dad was a policeman in the 80s when we were kids and we used to play out and roam the streets all day. The only things we weren’t allowed to do was to go trick or treating or to sleep in a tent in the back garden. From his experience in the police they were the two riskiest things. We also had to wear seatbelts years before it was mandatory as he’d seen far too many child deaths in car crashes.

@HilaryThorpe

Love the idea we are too old to use the internet. DH was a programmer in 1971, I was an IT in schools adviser in the 80s. Bloody good job you had us to invent it for you, really. 😂😂😂

I don't think anyone is suggesting this. The typical demographics of this board is there are more people with younger children, my 72yo mum can use the internet but wouldn't choose this forum as it's not topical for her. There are of course people of every age welcome but some posters have mentioned their parents would not be interested in this particular forum.

I am also 72 Ceecee. Still interested by discussion of feminism (defining experience of the 70s for me), politics, literature etc.
Why would I not be?

@HilaryThorpe

I am also 72 Ceecee. Still interested by discussion of feminism (defining experience of the 70s for me), politics, literature etc. Why would I not be?

Ditto!

I am also 72 Ceecee. Still interested by discussion of feminism (defining experience of the 70s for me), politics, literature etc. Why would I not be?

That’s lovely for you. Nobody is suggesting you wouldn’t be, but the vast majority of people don’t come to Mumsnet to do that, clue’s in the name. You’re welcome to use the site for whatever you like, but it probably isn’t worth getting arsey when people point out you aren’t the target demographic.

@HilaryThorpe

I am also 72 Ceecee. Still interested by discussion of feminism (defining experience of the 70s for me), politics, literature etc. Why would I not be?

I didn’t suggest you wouldn’t be. I said it wasn’t topical for my mum. You are not her. As someone who had her children 40 odd years ago she wouldn’t look at mumsnet, as the vast majority of things discussed here are not of interest to her at this stage of her life. She enjoys reading the news, catching up with friends and family, travel research, shopping etc online. People have difference interests.

I had a conversation about this with my mum yesterday as it happens.

I grew up in the 80s broadly free to come and go. She said that she was happy for me to be free but that her childhood was much riskier playing in rubble from bombsites, travelling on buses alone from age 5 and in a disused quarry.

So it's all relative I guess.

@ivykaty44 we have just moved and our new little road is exactly like this. All the children knock for each other and play outside.
There’s a large field which is private and completely fenced off directly opposite our houses and it’s a small, private road with only 7 houses but they all have children.
They don’t go out all day but usually after school for a bit or after dinner.
It is so, so lovely.

I’m in my late 60s and get an awful lot of information from Mumsnet, the Brexit and Feminism boards in particular. The Travel, Style &Beauty and Property boards are useful too. I’m also another who used computers from a very early stage and have frequently sorted out IT problems for younger colleagues, though unlike them I don’t plaster my life all over Facebook because I’ve been aware of the dangers of the Internet and the drawbacks of unwise use of social media for a long time.

Makes sense about relative risk. Maybe going off in the 70s/80s seemed much safer than going off in the 50s.

I really love the idea of my kids being able to go for an couple of hours without me. I just couldn’t actually let them do it. I’ve read about playing out streets where residents close the street off to cars once a month for a few hours. Sounds great.

Unpopular opinion, I was a child of the early 80’s and I bloody wish that parents had been more savvy about child safety. It might have prevented cases of child sex abuse, neglect and a child murder that happened in my naice, not socially deprived area.

well, just to buck the slightly ageist trend I had children in the 70s and 80s AND I'm on Mumsnet ... On weekends and holidays my children went out 'up the mountain' ( South Wales Valleys here) to play, some of or all of the day. They came home when hungry, thirsty or mildly injured ( sometimes all three) Because they always went in a group, if there was a problem someone would run back to tell me. Because there were no mobile phones, there was no concept of being continually in touch. It was simpler.

user did you worry about them going up the mountain? Or did you just think they’d probably be ok?

Some of this is so foreign to me! I was born v late 70s so 80s at primary school, 90s secondary.

We didn't "play out." Lots more sahm. Everyone was picked up by mum or sometimes an aunt. Some mums had "little jobs" for what was called "pin money" ( not at all saying this was ideal!). When my parents divorced going home to empty house was a "latchkey kid" even at 11+ !! So fine but not ideal.

Absolutely we didn't walk to school or back alone. We had secondary at 12 so from 10 some people walked home alone or usually with a friend. We had stranger danger drummed into us (as well as Fear of Railways and Farms and Pylons...)

There were child abductions in the 60s 70s and 80s. It wasn't something that suddenly happened in the 90s.

children were told not to speak to strangers or get a lift in a strangers car - even if they told you mummy had sent them

in fact there was far more of that then, than there is now as less children seem to be allowed out to play