Parents who had kids in the 70s/80s, can you answer this for me?

[LittleSnakes]

There’s always loads of comments on threads about how in the 80s or whenever, kids had much more freedom. Eg walking to school younger, playing out all day or suchlike. And now parents are too worried to let their kids do that and they do independent things much older than before. Back then, did you genuinely not feel the same worry as I would now, for example. Did you think that a 6 year old would be fine playing out all day and not think about bad things? I am so far away from that in my thinking that I can’t imagine what it would be like to be so relaxed about safety! So I’m curious about it. Was there less anxiety in general back then? Tell me more!

I am a child of the 80s and oldest of 6. My parents let us play out together in the local park alone from about 4 years old. Except when I was older, 9/10 etc they often left the lot so us so youngest 2 and 3 years old.

I used to go to local woods and talk to the homeless men who made camps. Found dirty magazines to gawp at!

My mum would leave us all outside the bingo hall for an hour. My parents would go to the pub for darts night and I would be 12, taking care of all the younger ones.

I would walk home from nearby town in the dark at 11pm ages 14 (along main roads, no bus at that time)

I would get the train to nearest city at age 15, get last train home (no mobile phones on any of us)

They took the younger ones on holiday when I was 15 and left me a week in the house. I don't think they even called home much! I went on holiday abroad with a friend and her parents, my parents still haven't even met them!

Since then I have found out two of my friends were sexually abused as youngsters, by close family members. So although I would never allow my children the careless freedom I had I am aware that many dangers to our children are a lot closer and always have been.

DD dob 78, DS dob 81
DW & I did role swap, so I was the house spouse.

I did encourage the little darlings to go out and be independent from age of 9 or10. They had had both been to Youth Club, Cubs, Brownies. So they became independent. Used to spending time, 5 days say with Grand P, or with groups.
As now biggest danger was road traffic.
One year they were hanging around the house too much so I threatened to turn them out and lock the doors on them! They went to the park!!

As usual I think it depends a lot on where you were living and circumstances.

As a child born in that area, I was living in a town (think LOndon type) and I wasn’t outside on my own. When we moved in a less city area, I was (from about 8yo)
DH parents were farmers. He went to school on his own from 6yo, down a road with no pavement. Regardless of the weather. He remembers clearly some days when the snow had drifted and was taller than him. He was left in his own on a regular basis. Was using tools that we wouldn’t leave to children Nowadays etc….
It wasn’t just an attitude that things would be ok. It was also the fact there was no choice…

Might be better asked on Gransnet

I'm also a child of the 70s 80s. We went to primary school by ourselves, - 5 minute walk mind you. Friends living further away took the bus for 10p. At secondary we walked or cycled as the bus only went every hour. Weekends after chores we were out knocking for friends either playing at their houses or in the park. During the summer we would play rounders in the park til
About 9pm - younger and older kids together - we knew when to come home, but to be fair my parents could see us as the park Was opposite the house but it didn't seem like they were keeping tabs on us. It was a small community and village school so the adults and parents knew the children . My brother did a paper round from the age of 13 and I would help him
Occasionally- as well as delivering the papers he would collect the paper money due every week knocking on doors and sometimes being invited in for a glass of squash and stale currant bun by a well meaning elderly neighbour 😊I don't have the same social network that my parents did so I would be afraid if they were given the freedom I had. To be honest when I was young I loved being out in the park with my friends and didn't really like being home.

I wonder if also some high profile abductions in the news in the 90s changed things. I can remember them being in early teens at the time. So if a one of mine is out of my sight for even a few moments I panic. (Internally, I’m very serene on the outside). And you see fewer kids out and about these days so seeing a 9 year old on their own is uncommon.

There weren’t the cars around then either taking up all the space or driven, so it wasn’t perceived as dangerous

What? Of course there were cars around in the 70s and 80s!

But there were fewer of them and they were smaller and slower.

There were areas where there were no cars. In the late 60s, early 70s, there was a change in design guides for social housing estates, to remove roads from these areas. Car parks were built close by and whole estates would be pedestrian only. Where I lived, I could walk to any friend’s house and never go near a road. On my 20 minute route to school, we crossed only 1 small road.

They then discovered the number of children being hit by cars went up because kids weren’t learning how to co-exist with cars, which led to the Green Cross Code campaign in the mid 70s to teach children that cars are dangerous.

@LittleSnakes

I grew up in the 80s so I remember what I was like. I was just wondering what it felt like as a parent to not see your kids all day and have no way of getting in contact. I used to be out all day age 5, going fields away.

Same here and I also wonder about the parents thinking. No judgement, times were different. I'm just curious.

There's no way I could let my kids do this. I'm also not sure they would be capable / would want to. Not at 5, anyway.

Agreed, I am in my 70s and use mumsnet (obviously). I had my DDs in 1979 and 1983. They were never allowed to roam all day, I always knew where they were. We had numerous playdates and activities. We lived rurally so I drove them everywhere during the primary school years. We moved into town before secondary school, then they would walk to school, go to visit friends, get the bus to the town centre.

In the 1950s we were pretty well chucked out in the morning and came home by teatime in the holidays. There was always a gang of children together. I would much rather have stayed indoors reading a book but this was not encouraged!

I think one of the main differences was as a PP said, there was always an adult around somewhere. As more stay at home parents.

@LittleSnakes, yes the three wee girls Caroline Hogg, but I can't remember the other two who were abducted by the truck driver made people very aware. And the Moors murders had a bit of a cumulative effect on people who remembered these things.

@RussiasGreatestLoveMachine

OP, I love how your thread title literally says - ‘parents who had kids in the 70s/80s, can you answer this for me?’

And you get a load of people proclaiming - ‘I was a child of the 80s….’

I know. I'm also keen to hear from the parents and having to trawl through all the other posts...

@LittleSnakes I agree, I’m sure it made us all be far more worried.

I had children in the 70s, they did play out but probably more like 7 or 8 than six although the younger one might have been tagging along with the older one at times. They wouldn't be gone all day though, they might have been playing out all day but they'd come in for the loo or a drink or lunch so they were never out for 5 or 6 hours without me seeing them. I could look out the window and see what they were up to. They'd all play in each others gardens so sometimes I'd have 7 or 8 kids in my garden and sometimes they'd be in a neighbours garden. Occasionally one family would take them all off to the park.

Yes I did worry the first time they did it, I'd be in and out looking at what they were doing but I think you feel that whatever age they are when they do something for the first time.

I think they were raising children based on their own childhood. In the 80’s there was no 24 hour news, the roads were quieter and it was more common to have SAHM in the house. I lived on an estate and my mum let me go out to knock for friends or roller skate down the alleyways. There was a woods and a river right next to the estate and kids would play there although we weren’t supposed to. I thin in the 90’s there was a spate of high profile murders that really frightened parents. I think my DS would have loved an 80’s childhood, but even on a residential street the cars drive like nutters. I don’t think my mum was too concerned about where I was and what I was up to as long as I came home before dark. She managed to do BA degree whilst bringing me up, I don’t think I have the freedoms she had either.

I wonder if also some high profile abductions in the news in the 90s changed things

I wouldn’t have thought so. Caroline Hogg and Susan Maxwell were high profile abductions in the early 80s. Parents probably changed things for a short while then quickly forgot.

It isn’t parents who have changed, it is society. Being more mobile, and mothers working longer hours mean young kids are less likely to live in areas where large groups of their friends do, and more likely to be with child minders or in after school clubs.

It’s interesting isn’t it. I wonder what I do now that my kids won’t be able to believe I did. Sometimes I wonder if it’ll be access to the internet that future parents won’t be able to believe. They’ll post a similar question asking how we felt about them having access to the internet so young. I’m personally terrified of my kids being old enough to access the internet and I know lots of other people are very strict with it. But a few years ago there wasn’t the same awareness of the dangers I think. Not sure tho, it wasn’t really on my radar then as I didn’t have kids.

Amount of traffic is a big factor in the change.

Also in the 50s and 60s the country was still not long out of war, and it felt like such a safer and more predictable place

I hadn’t heard of those cases zelda. I was only little then. So maybe it’s not that then.

@LittleSnakes

I wonder if also some high profile abductions in the news in the 90s changed things. I can remember them being in early teens at the time. So if a one of mine is out of my sight for even a few moments I panic. (Internally, I’m very serene on the outside). And you see fewer kids out and about these days so seeing a 9 year old on their own is uncommon.

There were child abductions in the 60s 70s and 80s. It wasn't something that suddenly happened in the 90s.

I know. I'm also keen to hear from the parents and having to trawl through all the other posts...

Parents in the 70/80s are unlikely to be on Mumsnet in large numbers.

But being a child of these times and having spoken to my mother about it, I do have some idea of what went on.

I am 60 and had kids in the 80s and I can’t say it was any different to today I sat at the door and watched my kids play outside , I didn’t leave them home alone or go to the shops alone . When I was a child in the 60s on the other hand we would play out all day and parents had no way of contacting us .

I hadn’t heard of those cases zelda. I was only little then. So maybe it’s not that then.

I was the same age as Caroline when she went missing. It was terrifying to me!

@Toddlerteaplease, yes I agree, that was the main difference I feel, far more than the car thing.
There was a huge difference though between what mine were allowed to do in the 80’s and what I was allowed to do in the 50’s/60’s. I always had one eye and ear out for mine, always knew where they were and they were always given time limits and checked in regularly.
My sister and I were sent out to play in the local area for hours at a time as my mum was always busy with manual housework, shopping daily for food, etc. There was no expectation that she would play with us at all so just had to entertain ourselves whereas stay at home mums like me and my friends did lots of joint park picnic trips etc with our children.
Looking back, I recognise that there were plenty of opportunities for something to have gone wrong with my letting them do the things they did and I can only be thankful it didn’t. They do look back with great fondness on their freedom and say nothing untoward ever happened but definitely don’t let their own children do the same.

@BoredZelda I think lots of us are on mumsnet to keep up with current stuff so we are good mother in laws and grandparents! We want to be doing the right thing.
And I still learn so much, parenting is an ongoing thing