Parents who had kids in the 70s/80s, can you answer this for me?

[LittleSnakes]

There’s always loads of comments on threads about how in the 80s or whenever, kids had much more freedom. Eg walking to school younger, playing out all day or suchlike. And now parents are too worried to let their kids do that and they do independent things much older than before. Back then, did you genuinely not feel the same worry as I would now, for example. Did you think that a 6 year old would be fine playing out all day and not think about bad things? I am so far away from that in my thinking that I can’t imagine what it would be like to be so relaxed about safety! So I’m curious about it. Was there less anxiety in general back then? Tell me more!

This was discussed in a sociology class I once went to. With the exception of more cars on the road etc. The chance of bad things happening to children hasn't really increased. However our awareness of the dangers have.
My mum is a good example of this. She use to go round to a friends in the late 60s. The friends cousin who was probably in his 20's regularly had the friend on his knee. One day he asked my mum to sit on his knee and he touch her inappropriately. My mum only told me recently but said back then she had never heard of the word pedophile. She never told anyone and regularly saw him after this always around children. It was never seen as an issue to the parents either that this grown man was often playing with children with them often sat on his knee. He was like the 'fun uncle.'

I don't remember the abduction cases, but there were high profile murders. But no in our town. So not of immediate interest. I think it was early 80s that house prices rocketed.
Both salaries qualified for tax relief on mortgage, I think. Women took better paid jobs to get better homes.

Child of the 70's here. Roamed freely from as far back as I can remember.
I had my kids in the 90's and they played out from about 3 or 4. At first just outside the house then gradually the street, round the corner, a bit further constantly. It never occurred to me to keep them in, I just spent a lot of time watching from the window, checking where they were. All their friends were the same, always out and about. They loved their childhoods. Don't get me wrong, it's worrying letting them out but I wanted independent confident people.

I feel for my younger family members, my 8 year old nephew has never been out to play and can't cross roads by himself. Can't ride a bike, has never skint his knee or sat up a tree . I think it's sad.

jumping back I was a child of the 50's in London. neither I nor my friends were allowed to "play out" as there were several busy roads between each other's houses. At 11 I was getting the bus or bus and tube to school alone and before that I had been allowed to walk to school alone from about age 8 and go to the local park or library alone from about the same age. The difference as I recall is that there were many more adults around....park keepers and playground supervisors, conductors on busses and so on. I had a be home by time (or was expected somewhere eg at school) so there was a lot more informal supervision. I knew about not talking to strangers, but from what I recall, the bigger worry was main road traffic and I had it drilled into me about crossing at the lights and so on. None of us were allowed to be latch key kids. One of us lived on a council estate (private rentals for the rest, not posh) so when we went to her house we could "play out" in the courtyard in front of her block, but only when her mum or dad was at home. No "long happy days" and certainly our parents or someone always knew more or less where we were and when they could expect to see us. Failure to turn up when expected was a HUGE no no.

I was a parent in the 80s ( and laughing at the comments that I am now so old that I couldn't possible use the internet ).

Things were different then but that didn't mean that I didn't worry, it was a balance between giving my daughter some freedoms and doing everything I could to ensure she was safe. She was always with a friend or group of friends when playing outside though and I would never have sent her to the shops alone as my mum did when I was young. My mum also used to send me with food for my grandfather and, although he lived fairly close to our house, I remember being scared walking on a deserted street in the dark ( and it's not easy to run with a jug of soup!). As a child in the 1930s my mum was allowed to roam free.

Enb76 comments sum things up perfectly and explains why things have changed so drastically throughout the last few generations.

My children were born in the 70’s and were never allowed to play out until started high school. It was more going to the shopping centre after school or back to a friends house.
We lived in a city and then moved to a rural area where there were much less cars but when they came they were fast, two of my children lost friends in car accidents.
I too grew up in a city and wasn’t allowed to play out, although my peers did.
We had fireworks in our garden and my father was always very careful.
I think the speed of news ( social media) getting around has made parents more careful. It used to be watching the news, reading a newspaper or listening to the radio. We didn’t have a car but not all cars had radios.
My daughter (8) left a holiday club once and was waiting at home when I returned from work, we went directly to the club to collect her brother and they hadn’t even noticed she was missing.

My kids were born in 1970, 72, 75, and 77. and I had a group of friends with children born at around the same time. None of us allowed our children "out to play". They played in the garden or at each others houses. Neighbours children would knock and would be invited in, and our children were allowed to do the same, but they didn't play out in the street. Things haven't changed that much since then. We, as parents were saying "We played out in the 50s, but it's too dangerous now"
My children were allowed to walk to and from school and to go to the local shop when they were 10, and when they went to the local Comprehensive in the next town we discussed the best route and the best places to cross the roads before they started.
We knew of children who were allowed to just wander at a young age, but were horrified by it, and my friend, who thought we were too over protective, changed her mind when a man took her 6 and 7 year old children and another child to a secluded place, exposed himself and persuaded the 6 year old to undress. The two boys ran home giggling that they had seen "a streaker", and the little girl realised that taking her dress off was naughty, put it back on, and also ran home. They were lucky. Not only to have escaped a paedophile, but also because even then there was research that showed that a child only BEGINS to be able to judge the speed of oncoming traffic at age 10.

Funnily enough, although I roamed around freely, my mum constantly criticised me for giving my children as much freedom as possible. She was desperate to project her fears on me and the kids despite having no idea where I was most of the time as a kid.

BoredZelda

I worked full time ( 3 months Maternity Leave!) as did my friends so don’t agree there were more SAHMs

“You did it (and some friends) so that’s how it was?”

Not sure why you are being so snippy - we were asked for our experiences and I gave mine ! Yes, all my friends bar a couple worked full time . Part time working wasn’t such a thing in professional jobs( in my experience!) . I worked in a large organisation at that time with a very large female workforce containing lots of Mums.

I think lots of us are on mumsnet to keep up with current stuff so we are good mother in laws and grandparents!

The key phrase being "in large numbers"

I'm another child of the 70s/early 80s. We lived in a suburban cul de sac, much like the one I live in now with 8 year old DS. I had considerably more freedom than him, at a younger age. I could play unsupervised in our close from around age 6, once trusted not to run into the road without looking first, but with boundaries (don't go past the lamp post at the corner, tell someone at home b4 going into a neighbours' house or back garden, regular check-ins). All the children played outside and would call for each other. I also walked two large dogs alone on tracks/fields behind our house from age 8/9. For my 8 year old now, it's all organised playdates only and I wouldn't dream of sending him out on his own with the dog!

At the time my parents considered themselves quite cautious compared to many of my peers' parents and would have said they worried about stranger danger and accidents, so perhaps the difference from today is that neighbours kept more of an eye out for each other? Growing up, I knew most of our neighbours and all the children in the street by name, which gave a greater sense of security that there always trusted adults around to go to or who would intervene if necessary, whether or not that was illusory. There is no feeling of community where I live now, it's all about your existing networks
and getting in your car and driving across town to meet up with friends. (A woman was attacked during lockdown across the road, in sight/earshot of at least 10 houses - my DH was the only person who called the police or went to assist the victim.) Also, I suppose it's all relative - my parents born in the 1940s were out all day as kids, with a sandwich lunch, roaming woods, fields and bomb sites, so felt I was very restricted compared to their own childhood.

I was born in the 60s.
We could play in our road from 7 and 5 ( cul de sac) going to friends houses or riding our bikes.
We could ride to the park and play but had to be together.We could go for bike rides in the woods or around the paths but couldn't cross big roads.
We weren't out all day by any means , we were expected to say where we were going, not to inconvenience other families and to be home in a timely manner. We were expected to look after each other. From 9 and 7 we had a long walk /train/ bus journey to school and were much more capable.We were allowed to walk into town to the shops alone or together , to cross the big roads and ride further afield or to go swimming etc.We were still expected to come home at the expected time and if together to look after each other.

Not only was I allowed out to roam all day, but I was sent on a daily basis to buy cigarettes from the corner shop. The shopkeeper was quite willing to open packs and sell them individually to kids who could not afford 20 at a time as well!

I agree with a pp who remembers the strict 'in by' time. I had (compared to my friends) a strict bedtime of 8pm till about the age of 13. Curfew in the winter was when it was getting dark. In the Summer it would have been tea time, so 6pm. I would be in huge trouble if I missed it and arrived home late.

That’s so interesting @Howareyouflower about how you were also more strict than your own childhoods. So maybe it really does depend on the parents. But I'm sure it was more common. I mean if I knew a kid was being allowed out alone all day I’d have to say something to their teacher. And I’ve also been wondering if maybe my parents did know where I was but I wasn’t aware.

As a kid I was old not take sweets from men. If a man came to the house and asked us if we had any silver, I was to say no. They were my safety rules!

research that showed that a child only BEGINS to be able to judge the speed of oncoming traffic at age 10. I heard similar but thought it was aged 7.

I think if it was the norm where you lived then parents didn't worry. Now, the norm is to watch children all the time and to organise their spare time into activities so the idea of not knowing what they are doing seems scary. But, there are still places where young children play outside. I often see it near where I live.

I think it's a lot more to do with where you lived. I lived near a central line tube station in an the 1960s. Never played out.

@Maggiesgirl

Not all of us who had children in the 70s and 80s are in their 80s!

I'm in my 60s, and most of my child's contemporaries parents were about the same age as me. Having a child in your late teens/ early 20s was quite normal then.

Yes, that was the case where I lived too.

@FrecklesMalone

My parents let us out all day. Despite having had a family member raped and murdered. As this was by someone the family knew it possibly made them feel no different about risk outside the home. Just as now those things are so incredibly rare they said they felt that child's freedom was more important than the risk. I still hold to this and try and let them out

We live in a cul de sac, which seems quite safe. One day I came home from the shops and my (retired) husband said that three little girls had knocked at the door and asked if he had a cat, and could they come in and stroke it. He had said sorry the cat wasn't in and turned them away. A few minutes later he pointed them out to me, knocking unsuccessfully at the house opposite. I went out and asked them where they lived, and they took me to the house, about 5 doors down. I explained what they were doing, and the mother said "I told them earlier not to bother the neighbours, when a man from over the road came and complained" She looked shocked when I said "I'm not worried about them bothering us, I'm more worried that they don't know who is behind those doors. Paedophiles look like normal people" What made it worse was the children, who were aged 5, 6, and 7 were not even all hers. She was "caring" for the 5 year old for a friend!

This interesting. Born in the mid 90s I enjoyed some freedom. Walked to school alone aged 9, would play out in the street then further a field:

Lived in Egypt when DS was a baby and toddler and lots of children play out alone from age 3. The sense of community is much greater and there is always someone around to watch over the kids. I could never move past the dangers I have come to fear and treated him no differently than how I do here.

He is now 9 and has never been out alone. Playing on the streets isn’t really a thing his friends do as they have so many more structured Extracurricular activities than I ever had. Wondering at what age I Should let him out alone? (Following closely behind)

@LittleSnakes

research that showed that a child only BEGINS to be able to judge the speed of oncoming traffic at age 10. I heard similar but thought it was aged 7.

I found this: roadsafetygb.org.uk/news/speeds-greater-than-20mph-pose-crossing-risk-for-children/

@Chilledchablis1 yes I realise I was making a bit of a generalisation about mums in the 80’s, I was a supply teacher and did work at times. There was far less childcare available wasn’t there though? Certainly in my area. I had no local family and so worked if one of my friends had them for the day and then I swapped so they could work. We had an excellent state nursery here from age 3 but nothing for the under 3’s, not even many private childminders.

Thanks flower, didn’t know those stats. Kids here can walk to school when they’re 10. There’s a few roads to cross, one has a green man (although drivers often seem to go through the red light). The other has a lollipop lady. And then one with nothing.

Wow leila I can’t even begin to imagine letting a kid out aged 3. But I guess if it’s normal in Egypt then it wouldn’t seems strange.

I think we were less aware of the bad things that can happen. We were reliant largely on the news and newspapers to tell us about offences, incidents, and world events.

Now we have social media where we know of things happening within seconds. If we happened to miss that particular thing, we are likely to see it through it being shared by other people.