Want to hear from parents who formula fed babies

[Cookiemonster2022]

Hi,
FTM here of 2.5 months old baby who never latched. So, I had to give him bottle and then nipple confusion happened which just made things worse.
I pumped breast milk for 2.5 months but not really got much milk so baby is primarily on hipp organic.
I feel guilty that I didn't give my baby best start by unable to breastfeed. It keeps going in my mind on and on. Also, there is pressure from DH's family for breastfeeding. I worry that I should have tried harder but I didn't.

Can some of you parents who have formula fed babies share your experiences and help put my mind at ease. Thanks and have a good day.

Please stop beating yourself up about it, your baby is fed and healthy and that's what matters, don't let other peoples opinions concern you because as a mama of a nearly 4 year old I can tell you the opinions just keep coming. Both my children were half and half breast and formula and then at 2 months formula only xx

Point them towards Emily Oster's Cribsheet which looks at all the evidence, assesses it's quality and then sums up the actual benefits of BFing (TL:DR they're very very few!). She isn't anti-BFing, she BF her own babies but she is into accurate data!

This article is also helpful:
chanapdavis.medium.com/breastfeeding-benefits-fact-versus-fiction-666897bd8cc

FWIW I had to do combi because of milk delay/low supply. I limited BFs from 12 weeks because I hated doing it and eventually BF to 3.5 years but I really regret not stopping BFing early on - it was huge amounts of expensive hassle, stopped me bonding with my baby for months. I only carried on because I was under pressure from extended family and HCPs to do it.

I've got 2 children and both were fully FF from birth. No-one said a word to me and I have no guilt.
Both my children are completely healthy.

DT’s (now 22) - formula fed from day one - by choice. Healthy and happy babies (and parents).

Made life easier as friends and family can help give bottles. Get a perfect prep machine and microwave steriliser .
You have nothing to feel guilty about at all.

@Cookiemonster2022 formula fed, breast fed is still fed, please please don't be too hard on yourself, both of mine were formula fed and they are happy & healthy!
No matter how they are fed I guarantee by the age of 2-3 most kids will be eating old toast they have found under the couch from 2 days ago... or leaves like mine was yesterday

Honestly, they’ll be eating nuggets and chips in a few years. Really don’t stress about it.
Enjoy your baby 💐

You may not want to hear from me as I bf but one of my NCT friends ff from day 2. Her DS and my DD are still friends and have just gone to the same secondary school together.
They got the same mark in the entrance exam for their secondary school, both play sport at county level and both are polite, easy going children who leave a trail of dirty sports kit and school bags in their wake.
The only difference is seemed to make was that she slept much better in the baby & toddler years as her DH would do a dream feed.

I have 8dc, I have only managed to successfully bf 2 of them (dc 6 &8). It really doesn't matter how baby is fed (although I totally get the feeling of guilt when bf doesn't work out) as long as they are fed!!

You are doing a great job and have breastfeeding a go! I have had two babies that I tried and failed to breastfeed and I sobbed over the decision both times. My eldest is nearly 8 and so healthy and bright. My youngest is 16m and also healthy and bright.

Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for formula feeding.

And just picking up on the point above about nuggets and chips - my friend and I were despairing the other day about our children's school lunch choices now they're at secondary school and we get no control. It's all sausage rolls, waffles and Danish pastries

I formula fed as soon as we left hospital (24hrs old) the only regret I have is having to come downstairs to make bottles in the middle of the night! My now 12 week old baby is healthy. And I've always been healthy (26yo) and was formula fed from birth too. As was my husband (31yo). Dont worry about it. And i hate how people who dont breastfeed feel the need to justify it. Its perfectly OK to just not want to. Xx

I breast fed two and formula fed two. All happy and healthy, clever and bright.

Don't beat yourself up. The best start in life is having parents who love you, not what milk you drink.

Please don’t punish yourself over it. You tried! I formula fed after a similar start. My DS ended up being cmpa and on prescription milk. Did not affect our bond at all, 2.5 years later he’s my little best friend. I don’t regret my decision and he is thriving. A fed and loved baby is what matters.

DTs are 20 months. One is bf, one was ff (and now on cow’s milk). Both happy healthy toddlers, and much better for us all that I didn’t persist trying to ff T1 when it wasn’t working.

Can some of you parents who have formula fed babies share your experiences and help put my mind at ease. Thanks and have a good day.

I can't really think of what you are looking for people to share? I FF, my babies grew up, end of story really. It's not such a big deal and there is no place for guilt here, it's a wasted emotion really. Enjoy your baby while they are smell because it's true they grow up very fast, don't waste these precious months making yourself feel down over feeding a baby. There is far too much pressure on new mums now to BF.

Please don't worry, fed is fed.
Mine are now 13 and 11. DC13 wouldn't latch on so I had no choice to formula feed, I was the same and felt so guilty.
Looking back I realised that was just mum guilt that I felt because of others pushing their ideals on me.
When DC11 came I decided to formula feed as she was an extra hungry baby and it has never done them any harm. They have grown up healthy and happy and are very sporty.

I’ve formula fed 2 babies and breast fed 2 it’s just how it worked out at the time. I was so poorly with my first son it just didn’t ever take off and he was bottle fed, he was an amazing baby and is now a 20 year old fit and healthy lad. How I fed each of them makes no difference now they are older.

You tried and it didn’t work and your baby is loved fed and happy and hopefully you are too so that’s the main thing.

Please not do feel guilty, fed is best which ever way either that be bottle breast or combi, I never breast feed either of my baby's one was a micro Prem the other very bad tongue tie. I expressed for both of them, the nicu slighty longer the 2nd got to 10 weeks, then gave both formula. It worked for me and my babies. You have to do what's best for u and yours, like others have said it won't be long before they are eating all sorts

My nct leaser said to me “there are many ways to nurture a child, how you feed them for the first 6 months of their lives is just one”.

In that instant, all the guilt and shame I felt from ff my baby dissolved. 3 years later off his sister from 3 weeks.

They are now 10 and 13, healthy and intelligent. I knew a lot of their classmates from bavy groups etc when they started school, although I knew which ones were breastfed and which were bottle fed, you’d never be able to tell.

I FF from the start.
If you have people round for visits they are always happy to give baby a bottle so it gives you a break.
Not sure if this is what your looking for but, don't beat yourself up about it.
Fed is best and we all end up eating the same in the future.

All I can say is don’t let unnecessary guilt about this affect your enjoyment of your new baby- which is what I did. The midwife tried to tell me.

Yes I had this with my first. I couldn't breastfeed him properly - he couldn't maintain a latch and kept slipping off. He got stressed because the milk was coming out so quickly. I did everything I could (got tongue tie cut, went to support groups, saw a lactation consultant, did mouth exercises with him). Nothing worked. I pumped and got a lot out, so I gave him breast milk for 3 months, followed by combination of breast and formula till about 6 months.

I did feel incredible guilt around it, and possibly had PND. However, things got gradually better, starting when I stopped pumping at 3 months.

I had insensitive comments around it from my in laws who thought I should be breastfeeding. On the other hand, my own family couldn't understand why I was getting so worked up about it all and why I didn't just FF him.

I was able to BF my second DC with no issues, and my first is now a healthy 7 year old. Good luck OP.

Don't feel bad about it - no one explains enough how hard breastfeeding is! I couldn't make it work with DD, though i did with DS. Both are very healthy, hardly ever get ill. I never looked back or felt guilty with DD as trying to BF was a frustrating experience for us both and we bonded better when she could have satisfactory bottle feeds.

It doesn't matter what pressure people put on you, if it's not working it's not working and the baby needs feeding so they should shut up!

Similar here. My dd had a “good latch” according to mw and consultants but my nipples pissing with blood so much so looked like a little vampire disagreed. Even now at 5 months she’s a crazy latcher on the bottle. I had all the guilt and shame and negative emotions as nothing had gone to plan in the birth and now the one thing I really wanted wasn’t going to plan either. FF saved me, saved her and saved us both. I know if I hadn’t of switched I would have really gone down a bad route. A friend sent me the first image, the words helped.

You’re doing amazingly and no one should shame you for doing what’s best for you and your baby. Everyone’s child and experience is different and if your partners family don’t understand that limit your interaction with them and learn to shut down their ignorance.

2nd photo just for a laugh as it’s pretty true.

@AmigoingcrZy

I formula fed as soon as we left hospital (24hrs old) the only regret I have is having to come downstairs to make bottles in the middle of the night! My now 12 week old baby is healthy. And I've always been healthy (26yo) and was formula fed from birth too. As was my husband (31yo). Dont worry about it. And i hate how people who dont breastfeed feel the need to justify it. Its perfectly OK to just not want to. Xx

Get yourself a perfect prep!

I combi-fed my first after the first 2 weeks then switched solely to formula when we started weaning.
She's now a very clever, very big (tall, not unhealthy) 2 year 8 month old.

Youngest has been FF since 24 hours after birth and is doing brilliantly. She's 4.5 months.

Being formula fed with a happy home is better than being breast fed and miserable.