Want to hear from parents who formula fed babies

[Cookiemonster2022]

Hi,
FTM here of 2.5 months old baby who never latched. So, I had to give him bottle and then nipple confusion happened which just made things worse.
I pumped breast milk for 2.5 months but not really got much milk so baby is primarily on hipp organic.
I feel guilty that I didn't give my baby best start by unable to breastfeed. It keeps going in my mind on and on. Also, there is pressure from DH's family for breastfeeding. I worry that I should have tried harder but I didn't.

Can some of you parents who have formula fed babies share your experiences and help put my mind at ease. Thanks and have a good day.

Following a very traumatic birth my milk never came in, so I had no choice but to bottle feed. My daughter is now 2.5 yrs old, she’s is incredibly bright, is ahead of her development in regards to talking, counting, the way she plays etc. never had any concerns that I thought would be due to not breast feeding. Looking back I’m actually grateful that my husband could help with bottle feeds so it wasn’t always down to me. I honestly can’t understand why others feel it’s ok to look down on those that bottle feed. My neighbour got ignored by other mothers at a mother & baby group once purely because she wasn’t breastfeeding. That’s disgusting behaviour in my opinion and those mothers should be ashamed of themselves. There are so many reasons why some babies are bottle fed and those against it are too quick to judge. What if a baby has been adopted at birth? Their adoptive mom can’t breastfeed them, yet others would see and judge not knowing the circumstances. It doesn’t matter what others think or say. You’re the mother, it’s your decision. Don’t let anyone make you feel you’re not good enough, because you are, and you’re doing amazing 😊

DD exclusively breastfed for 18 months always been a poor eater. Dropped from 75th centile at birth to now below 2nd (at 5 years). Am still tearing my hair out to get some weight on her.

Ds combination fed (after too large initial weight drop) and has been nicely following his 75th centile. I cried every bottle for the first two days because I so desperately wanted to ebf him but seeing how he's thriving with the formula I think it's the best decision I ever made.

My point is I tried very, very hard to breastfeed DD and it was a big mistake. I regret it very much. If your ds is doing well on formula then that is what matters. Breast is not always best. Sometimes it just doesn't work out well.

I feel terribly guilty about DD just as you do with your child but I guess we can all just do what we think is the best at that time.

No similar experience but I was a fully formula fed baby. My mum made the best choice for us both at the time. I’m in my thirties now, no health issues, achieved well academically etc etc. I’ve breastfed my own baby but also give the odd bottle of formula. Honestly, your baby won’t care how they were fed nor is it likely to have any significant impact on them. The only person suffering here is you so please stop giving yourself a hard time xx

I’m the mum of two strappingly healthy almost entirely formula fed boys - well, one is 21.
DS 1 - never latched, only one midwife in hospital managed to get him on and he failed to get him on the other boob. He screamed blue murder but loved the bottle.
DS2 - would have breastfed but I’d had a section and the unit was very short staffed. He was crying, I could hear other mums despairing as they’d just got theirs off to sleep - and so i cracked on with what I knew well, formula. In both cases I expressed for a few weeks but only got maybe one bottle a day.
I know breastfed children - now young adults - with eczema, asthma, frequent stomach bugs - so I really can’t see that my formula fed boys had a worse diet!
I also know mums who put themselves through hell to breastfeed- repeated mastitis etc. There is no way I would have done that. DS 1 slept 7 hours through at 8 weeks (admittedly DS2 didn’t) and I really enjoyed my maternity leave. I was well rested and happy. The thought of having a ten month old baby wanting to latch on through the night and use me as a dummy is appalling to me personally.

Stop feeling bad. Your baby is loved and fed. I was not able to breastfeed. I was only able to pump the tiniest bit. You are doing great!

I switched my baby to hipp after breastfeeding for
15 weeks and I’m really proud of myself. It was so bloody hard and I was in tears for the first week (silly I know!) especially when baby was rooting my the breast but looking back I’m so glad I made the change.

Mum and baby loads happier, babies reflux just control (anti reflux milk) and gaining weight much better.

You’ve done the right thing for you both

I formula fed pretty much from day one.
DS is now 7 and you cannot tell the difference between those children who were breast fed and those that were formula fed.

Fed is best - that's all you need to remember.

Thanks a ton to all you amazing mom's/parents here who have shared their experiences. I feel pretty emotional and supported by you all ❤️❣️
I realise that nurturing my baby is more important irrespective of how he's fed.
I am not going to feel bad about it or let anyone make me feel bad.
At the end of day, we have to do what works for my family.
Proud of all if you here, parenting is bloody hard.Looking forward to enjoying my baby's milestones.

FF both from the start. DD1 is now 3, and last weekend at soft play her and her EBF friend were found under a neighbouring table picking up and eating dropped Pom Bears. How they were fed felt like a much bigger deal as babies - now it’s not even remotely a factor.

If it helps, I’m a primary teacher and have not once been able to tell which of my pupils had breastmilk and which didn’t.

2 happy and healthy children who were bottle fed from birth. Do what is right for you. As long as your baby is loved and nurtured is what counts.

I meant to specify "formula fed"

Well I would ask my FF baby how he feels about being formula fed but he probably doesn’t even know as he has never asked. The 6ft footballer is currently away at his russell group university which he got into with AAA where he is on track for a first enjoying his robust health where he has barely had a day of sickness apart from a nasty bout of chicken pox when he was 3 and asymptomatic covid.

Oh bless you this is such a normal feeling to have! For women who want to breastfeed, not being able to can be earth shattering. I would really recommend ‘why breastfeeding grief and trauma matter’ by amy brown. It’s a really small book but it’s brilliant, really really validating and helps to work through all these normal emotions. It’s okay to be sad about what has happened. You have done an amazing job

I have two very happy and healthy DDs. Bottle fed both from birth. Never even once considered breast feeding as it's just not for me. Even went as far as asking for cabergoline with my second as I knew I wasn't going to breast feed so why go through the hell of milk coming in. Worked like a dream.

I have a wonderful bond with both as I was very relaxed throughout the newborn stage as I wasn't putting pressure on myself to do something I really wasn't comfortable with.

Breast may be best but the pressure we put on new mums is the absolute worst.

I'm not usually a rude person but I find people voicing their opinions on something as personal as how others feed their babies is incredibly rude so I've taken to responding to any comments with very rude answers. OHs elderly aunt made her very pro breast feelings on this very clear so I simply told her to leave my home. Zero tolerance. Zero patience. Life is too short.

I was formula fed, I am 51 years old and I think I've done ok.

My sister breast-fed her oldest from birth but after it conspired that her baby was just not happy and cried incessantly. Despite all my sister's attempts at help from her doctor, a lactation nurse and several other professionals (because she feared her baby was not feeding enough), they made her feel absolutely shitty about her not wanting to continue with breastfeeding but her baby was in severe distress. After more than a week of putting up with the poor baby's cries, our father took my niece to the hospital and it turned out my niece was not getting enough through her feeds and was becoming dehydrated and slowly starving. She was taken care of in hospital and advised my sister to give her baby formula and the baby was a completely different baby after a few days. It infuriates me that those particular professionals were so adamant that "breast is always best" that they couldn't see the possibility that it might not be for everyone.

Because of that experience, I bottle-fed my three children, now 30, 24 and 20 and they were healthy babies and adults today.

OP, you're feeding your baby and it's all that matters.

I always wonder why people use the chicken nuggets reference. As if to say "don't worry about feeding your baby junk as they will all be eating junk eventually". Such an odd way to offer advice. Formula is an amazing substance that can fully nourish a growing baby, not something to just get over as they will be stuffing potato waffles in their faces later on.

I tried to breastfeed for about a week. I seriously had such a rubbish supply, I have no idea what people are on about when they say “let down” and “engorgement”

One day I was sick of the bloody peer “supporters” telling me to pump 8x a day for half an hour, so I gave my kid a bottle and it was the most settled and relaxed we’d both been for days. Never looked back. She’s perfectly healthy. Except a dose of HFM and the obligatory starting nursery chest infection she’s hardly been poorly. Never even had a tummy upset.

In my NCT groups three kids were EBF. Two of them have eczema and allergies. Not the panacea they’d have you believe.