What is having a newborn/young child actually like?

[AwkwardPaws27]

I've just had my 12 week scan & DH is having a wobble. He's worried we're ruining our life. I think reality has hit (this is a very planned & wanted pregnancy after three miscarriages so I'm a bit surprised that he's suddenly thinking it's not a good thing. We're definitely having the baby - I just don't want to say everything will be fine if it won't!).

Parents I know in real life seem to say its awful, so stressful, no one sleeps ever etc but then add a cheery "but it's worth it!". Can anyone shed any more light?

My mum was a single parent so did everything & never had time to herself. I've been imagining that parenting with two adults will be a bit better/easier? Am I totally daft?

I totally get that the first month or so is likely to be spent on the sofa recovering from birth, getting used to the new arrival and cluster feeding (providing BFing works out).

I thought after that we could do more - DH works from home so I was hoping to hand baby over for a bit in the evening so I could cook (I quite like cooking so making dinner while listening to a podcast would actually be quite a nice break) or take a shower; he's says he is on board with this.

He does a hobby on a Monday evening for a couple of hours, & I do mine on a Tuesday for roughly the same time - so I thought after a few months it might be realistic for us to resume these, so we both get a break & time to ourselves?

Other than that we aren't out partying anyway - a typical weekend is spent walking the dog, film & a takeaway, visiting family, making a roast etc. I imagined a baby would fit into that / that would fit in with a baby relatively well?

Am I totally delusional? Will we be up to our ears in shitty nappies for the foreseeable with no breaks or fun, or is it actually "worth it"?What makes it worth it? What can I tell him to look forward to??

DS is 8 months and there's no way I would be able to do a regular evening class - every moment of my waking day is spent playing the same boring baby games, making baby-friendly food for weaning (i.e. tastes like crap) or cleaning/doing endless laundry. How I can do 3 loads in a day and still be behind is astonishing. It's weird - I love my baby and would do anything for him. But I kind of hate my life.

You will be able to go for walks at the weekend. But they will be carefully timed around nap times and feed times. It won't be as free as it is now.

@Mimba1

Then you think you get a break at 7pm when they go to bed but they wake every half an hour as theyve dropped their dummy or want to be comforted so you dont even get a rest or a full nights sleep 😑

Imagine having a 5kg kettlebell that you have to carry around all day. Including when you go for a wee, need to hang up laundry, cook dinner, open the front door to the delivery man etc. You can put it down very briefly, but only for a minute or two at a time, otherwise it will start making a horrific noise.

That’s been my experience so far with DC3, who is 11 weeks. She just never lets me put her down.

DC1 had a lot of feeding issues, so there was a lot of worrying about his poor weight gain, my nipples were agony, I had mastitis and I really struggled with the weight of the sheer responsibility of keeping this tiny human alive that I suddenly felt on my shoulders.

DC2 hated the car seat. So going anywhere was always incredibly traumatic and meant I stayed at home a lot!

There are many good bits too though!