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Word for vagina?

356 replies

ncnewbaby · 14/11/2021 23:08

Parents of girls, what word do you use for vagina? I have a baby girl and can't remember what we used growing up!

OP posts:
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Decaffe · 14/11/2021 23:45

@ncnewbaby

Parents of girls, what word do you use for vagina? I have a baby girl and can't remember what we used growing up!
Vulva for the vulva and vagina for the vagina.
PegasusReturns · 14/11/2021 23:45

Fanny is too rude in this house!

I referred to a generic “bottom” until about 4 or 5 when I switched to vagina.

WorraLiberty · 14/11/2021 23:46

[quote dontletthemugglesgetyoudownn]**@ncnewbaby* but god forbid something happened to your child (sexual assault or inappropriate touching) and they tell a teacher that they've been touched on a insert childish name for vagina* how do the police or you know exactly where the touching has happened? Muffin could mean anything etc [/quote]
Unless the child has had their hands and fingers removed, could they not point to it?

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Howareyouflower · 14/11/2021 23:46

I had four children and don't remember ever having to refer to their genitals except in a medical setting, when I would have said vulva or penis. Why would you? When do you envisage saying these words apart from if your child asks?

TuftyMarmoset · 14/11/2021 23:47

I think we just said ‘bits’

AleynEivlys · 14/11/2021 23:47

Front bum, though they also know the anatomical terms.

I'm 99% sure they would come to me or their dad first if something awful happened though, so I'm not too worried that whoever they told wouldn't be able to work out what they were talking about.

'Front bum' is pretty self explanatory though, so I'm not concerned. 🤷

GemGemma · 14/11/2021 23:48

Growing up our word was 'front bum' 🙈. I remember being disgusted with this as a child!

I use correct anatomical names now. I didn't have that growing up so it was a bit difficult for me in the beginning but you get used to it & it really makes sense. Why would we make up cutsy names for other body parts... It would say theres a reason to hide or be ashamed of it.

AutumnAnn · 14/11/2021 23:48

My daughter is only 4 months old so we're not at that stage yet with her, but will be using Vagina and the other correct anatomical names just as we do with our son and his anatomy

ThrobbingToothacheOfTheMind · 14/11/2021 23:49

@Codswallop20

The more I think about this the more cross I get.

Why are we fucked up about talking about our genitals? The men don't care. We can say what we want and use the proper names but we don't with our little girls, and then they grow up and become big girls who can't deal with the sexualisation of their bodies.

The boys are so sure of who they are and their identity, our girls are hiding behind cute names for their cunts.

Waiting for the outcry against that one! But mine is a vulva, vagina or a cunt and not in a derogative way, we should own this.

It is OURS!

Keep your cunt to yourself. Most women don’t want to hear that word.

Men have lots of nicknames for penis. Are they hiding behind cute words? Willy? Old chap? Peepee?

TheGriffle · 14/11/2021 23:49

It was a front bottom when I was little which j hate. I tend to use ‘bits’ but every now and again throw in the anatomical name so they know. But day to day, it’s bits.

Bunnyfuller · 14/11/2021 23:50

@dontletthemugglesgetyoudownn

The police actually try to use any words the child is comfortable with. They don’t require children to know anatomy

foxgoosefinch · 14/11/2021 23:52

OP they do cover the anatomical terms in school PSHE (normally in year 1), so your DD is going to have to learn them anyway and then you might as well start with the proper terms!

GemGemma · 14/11/2021 23:52

As many have pointed out, the correct discriptor for female genitalia is 'vulva'.... It's shocking how many women are unaware of this, and I include myself in that! 🙈 I only realised it when I was looking up this exact question when my little one was littler!

Cattenberg · 14/11/2021 23:53

I argue with my mum about this. She thinks it would be weird and abnormal to teach DD the word “vulva”. So DD refers to everything down there as “bottom”. Perhaps I could compromise with “crotch”?

Helpstopthepain · 14/11/2021 23:53

@Codswallop20

The more I think about this the more cross I get.

Why are we fucked up about talking about our genitals? The men don't care. We can say what we want and use the proper names but we don't with our little girls, and then they grow up and become big girls who can't deal with the sexualisation of their bodies.

The boys are so sure of who they are and their identity, our girls are hiding behind cute names for their cunts.

Waiting for the outcry against that one! But mine is a vulva, vagina or a cunt and not in a derogative way, we should own this.

It is OURS!

I love the word cunt but just don’t think it’s an appropriate to ask a child if they’ve wiped their cunt etc.
CrazyCatLazy · 14/11/2021 23:54

@foxgoosefinch

Use vulva, it’s the correct term as there aren’t many occasions you actually need to refer to her actual vagina!

It’s now advised that you teach toddlers the accurate anatomical terms as this helps safeguard them against abuse and helps them be confident in knowing about their own bodies and boundaries.

Little girls in particular deserve to learn about their bodies factually and not as something coy or euphemistic or shameful.

You get used to saying “now you need to wipe your vulva” pretty quickly and then it doesn’t seem strange! (I also alternated it with “your bits” but made sure I also used the correct term too).

Came here to say this. It is SO important, somebody very close to me was SA.
NoDecentHandlesLeft · 14/11/2021 23:55

Fanny is pretty vulgar where I live!
Correct terms are best, growing up girls had a Minnie and boys had a Micky or a Willy.

NoDecentHandlesLeft · 14/11/2021 23:55

I also personally don't have an issue with the word cunt, but I wouldn't want my child saying it! Shock

foxgoosefinch · 14/11/2021 23:57
  • Keep your cunt to yourself. Most women don’t want to hear that word. Men have lots of nicknames for penis. Are they hiding behind cute words? Willy? Old chap? Peepee?*

The point is that most terms for male genitalia are jocular and well known. Whereas the ones for female are either coy and euphemistic, or shameful and considered vulgar or used as insults - as you replicate here.

I like the good old honesty of the word cunt. It has a long history and in middle and early Early Modern English wasn’t considered particularly offensive. I find it much less offensive than the ghastly “pussy”, for example. And “front bottom” sounds like it’s dirty.

Bunnyfuller · 14/11/2021 23:57

My girls made up their own names unprompted: hog for the penis and Nonna hog for anything they had (they weren’t bothered with the technicalities at that age).all accompanied by raucous laughter from all of us. Makes me smile typing it.

Knowing the correct words doesn’t decrease abuse, what rot.

Branleuse · 15/11/2021 00:00

Fanny.

ncnewbaby · 15/11/2021 00:00

Thanks for all the helpful replies! I have family who use front bottom but find it so weird! Also heard nunny

To those on their high horses, we use child-friendly words for all kinds of things - wee wee, night nights, my son calls me Mummy instead of the correct name on my birth certificate, and we also don't use the anatomical word for penis (he knows what it is and that it's not a bad word, it's just not the one we use day to day).

It's really nothing to do with internalised misogyny or lack of wokeness or anything else other than a preference.

OP posts:
Notthissticky · 15/11/2021 00:00

Of course most teachers would be concerned with kids saying so and so licked my cookie, and I imagine that is just a really bad example. However, a child using pet names does leave scope for argument about what actually happened if they disclose abuse. The defense could argue that noonoo means their stomach or something, for example.

I didn't know about it reducing the likelihood of grooming and abuse, that's really good to know.

I only have sons and it's obviously each to their own, but front bottom??? WTAF? Way to go, reducing the female sex organs to a mirror image of an arse! That is just wrong for so many reasons!!!

It's penis or willy here. With a girl I think I'd say vagina, as I don't use the word vulva myself (just talk about labia or other specific parts if necessary)

maofteens · 15/11/2021 00:03

My daughter used to call it her front bottom. Used that initially but then called it vagina (though honestly don't think we talked about it much)!

TheGirlCat · 15/11/2021 00:06

@Bunnyfuller

My girls made up their own names unprompted: hog for the penis and Nonna hog for anything they had (they weren’t bothered with the technicalities at that age).all accompanied by raucous laughter from all of us. Makes me smile typing it.

Knowing the correct words doesn’t decrease abuse, what rot.

@Bunnyfuller Sorry but you are wrong. For at least 2 decades now police, SS, child psychologists etc have advocated that teaching the correct terms can decrease child sexual abuse.

www.raace.org/why-important-teach-kids-correct-name-body-parts?journal=26

theconversation.com/use-proper-names-for-body-parts-dont-force-hugs-how-to-protect-your-kids-from-in-person-sexual-abuse-139970

Spring recounts a heartbreaking story told at a workshop by a woman who had been sexually abused as a child. Back then, the only word she knew for vulva was "cookie." "When she tried to tell a teacher about how someone wanted her cookie, the teacher told her she had to share. It's obvious that the consequence of that was that the abuse continued. She didn't have the tools she needed to disclose."
www.theglobeandmail.com/life/parenting/the-serious-education-of-teaching-kids-correct-names-for-genitals/article23313079/

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/going-beyond-intelligence/201703/call-children-s-private-body-parts-what-they-are

In my attempt to find evidence supporting these positions, I found several articles describing a need for more research on the sexual abuse of young children. In the absence of statistical validation, however, there is a general consensus among clinical experts that children who know the anatomically correct names for their genitals are better able to avoid abuse, or to talk about it if it happens. From the American Academy of Pediatrics: "In early childhood, parents can teach their children the name of the genitals, just as they teach their child names of other body parts. This teaches that the genitals, while private, are not so private that you can’t talk about them."

and

^When children feel awkward talking about certain body parts—if they giggle when someone mentions those parts, for example—they’re more likely to feel embarrassed about asking questions, and they’re less likely to tell you if someone is touching them inappropriately. Euphemisms usually reflect parents’ discomfort with talking openly about those body parts, and so kids learn there’s something naughty, wrong, or rude about talking about them.

Recent research shows that knowing the correct anatomical terms enhances kids’ body image, self-confidence, and openness. It also discourages their susceptibility to molesters. When children are abused, having the correct language helps both the child and adults deal with disclosure and—if necessary—the forensic interview process.

According to Laura Palumbo of the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, "We need all adults to be partners in teaching healthy childhood sexual development, and square one is body parts. Educators and parents should communicate accurately, without stigma or shame."^
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/going-beyond-intelligence/201703/call-children-s-private-body-parts-what-they-are

Toward Prevention of Childhood Sexual Abuse:
Preschoolers’ Knowledge of Genital Body Parts
Maureen C. Kenny, Florida International University, USA
Sandy K. Wurtele, University of Colorado, Colorado Springs, USA
Abstract: This study examined preschool children’s knowledge of their genital
and non-genital body parts. Results indicated that almost all preschool children
knew the correct terms for their non-genital body parts, but few knew the correct
terminology for their genitals. The importance of this skill in preventing
childhood sexual abuse is discussed.

digitalcommons.fiu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1121&context=sferc

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