Word for vagina?

[ncnewbaby]

Parents of girls, what word do you use for vagina? I have a baby girl and can't remember what we used growing up!

It's to reduce likelihood of the abuse occuring in the first place. Children who's families talk more openly and use the correct names are less likely to be victims of abuse.

I don't see how thus can be true and it sounds a bit like victim blaming. I understand that if children are used to discussing their bodies without shame it could help them to report something clearly, but how could calling it a vulva actually stop abuse from happening in the first place?

DD is 8 and knows the correct terms (we have discussed it several times) but on a day to day basis we just say front bottom or back bottom. If something hurts or she has a question then we use the proper terms.

Why just parents of girls? Do boys not need to know the word too? We use penis and vagina.

@jcyclops

Boris

🤣👍🏻🤣👍🏻

@Howareyouflower

I had four children and don't remember ever having to refer to their genitals except in a medical setting, when I would have said vulva or penis. Why would you? When do you envisage saying these words apart from if your child asks?

Telling them how to wash and clean themselves properly. Explaining where babies come from. Explaining what will happen at puberty. Discussing something that hurts or itches... They see our bodies, they ask questions, we answer them as matter of factly as possible. Seems to come up reasonably frequently for us.

Minnie

@sybillalle I bet you still tell your child the tooth fairy exist and santa... mean while we must teach even 3 year old the tooth fairy has a vagina too!

We talk about willies and fannies on a day to day basis but they both know the proper words are penis or vagina/vulva.
Same with boobs / breasts.

The big take away from this post is many adult women don’t know what a vagina or a vulva is. I think that in itself tells us we need to better educate girls and boys about anatomy. You would never find a man being confused about what part of their body is their penis.

For so long to men have pulled this sqemish nonsense about the female body. It’s a shame women are trained to do the same.

@Piggyk2 not sure what the link is to Santa and the tooth fairy? Vaginas aren't imaginary!

Anyway I'm not one of those who thinks you must be anatomically correct with 3 year olds - just saying that in our house genitals are mentioned fairly frequently in the course of daily bathing and toileting instruction with young kids. So I understand the need to think about what to call it.

Growing up in our house they were generally referred to as front bottoms and johnnies. But I must have been taught the correct names at some point.

We bring a lot of baggage from childhood about what names are used I think. I was told off by my father for using the phrase "bum bag" as it was apparently rude... Probably why I try to be as neutral and calm as possible to avoid shame in my kids.

@Mellowyellow222

The big take away from this post is many adult women don’t know what a vagina or a vulva is. I think that in itself tells us we need to better educate girls and boys about anatomy. You would never find a man being confused about what part of their body is their penis.

For so long to men have pulled this sqemish nonsense about the female body. It’s a shame women are trained to do the same.

Yes, I remember a thread a few years ago on Mumsnet where many of the women had believed they urinated out of their vagina. Hopefully this generation are being raised with better knowledge.

My grandmother thought she'd injured herself playing sport when she started her first period and during her first labour (!) still thought the baby was going to emerge from her belly button! Midwife had to disabuse her, poor woman. I think each generation is getting less prudish and silent (hopefully) about women's bodies.

@Mellowyellow222

The big take away from this post is many adult women don’t know what a vagina or a vulva is. I think that in itself tells us we need to better educate girls and boys about anatomy. You would never find a man being confused about what part of their body is their penis.

For so long to men have pulled this sqemish nonsense about the female body. It’s a shame women are trained to do the same.

I didn’t know the difference between vulva and vagina until about 5 years ago and I’m in my 50’s. I’m not the least bit squeamish or prudish, I just hadn’t realised the difference.

Guess what!!! It actually doesn’t matter a jot. I’ve had four kids, I’ve had a bathylin cyst drained, I’ve had cystitis a zillion times and I have a lifetime of great sex and not knowing there is a difference between the VULVA and the VAGINA hasn’t impacted on anything EVER.

[quote sybillalle]@Piggyk2 not sure what the link is to Santa and the tooth fairy? Vaginas aren't imaginary!

Anyway I'm not one of those who thinks you must be anatomically correct with 3 year olds - just saying that in our house genitals are mentioned fairly frequently in the course of daily bathing and toileting instruction with young kids. So I understand the need to think about what to call it.

Growing up in our house they were generally referred to as front bottoms and johnnies. But I must have been taught the correct names at some point.

We bring a lot of baggage from childhood about what names are used I think. I was told off by my father for using the phrase "bum bag" as it was apparently rude... Probably why I try to be as neutral and calm as possible to avoid shame in my kids.

[/quote]
I know. But the correlation is you and others want to be political correct which is fine. Like I said you will be saying to the kids Santa is coming soon.... the tooth fairy will have been in the morning.

I know vaginas are real! Who said they wasn't. Santa isn't but most parents go along with it.

TrollsAreSaddos I appreciate it’s not going to have a huge impact on anyone’s lives - but I am in my forties and was taught this at school. Knowing the names of body parts seems such a fundamental part of education.

When we are instructed to insert a tampon in our vaginas for example - surely you know what that it. It’s a very specific, internal area of the body.

I guess I am just surprised people didn’t know., and I do think we should all be better educated. Be harm can come from knowledge and it’s odd that women don’t know this - but men will certainly know the difference between their penis and their testicles for example.

[quote mathanxiety]@GingerScallop, you have completely misunderstood the role of proper naming in safeguarding.

It's not supposed to stop or prevent abuse.

You give your children the words they might (hopefully won't ever) need so that when asked what happened, they can say exactly what body part was touched, or penetrated, etc.

Or when they go to an adult to make a disclosure, the adult doesn't misinterpret the silly, coy words listed here (foof, muff, nonnie, etc) as meaning 'stomach' and dismiss it as inconsequential.[/quote]
Sure but I was specifically responding to the poster who said kids that can anatomically name vagina/vulva are less likely to be abused. I do not think that's true. Many factors go into abuse and it's wrong to overstate the naming thing.

I also think as society we need to listen to girls and women more and better. Sure it's easier to know what kids mean when they say they were touched on their vulva (doesnt always mean they will be believed or helped but it's a good non ambiguous start) but I think we have to acknowledge that not everyone is on same page so listening to what kids are saying and asking the right questions in the right way is also important. What for example should we do if the kid doesn't speak English as a first language? We won't try and unpick what they are saying because it's not the word vulva? or if they use more common slag like lady bits? Would we dismiss a boy who says X touched my dick or my pee pee because they didn't use the word Penis?
Anatomically correct names for genitals and open discussions about them are critical but I still am unsure about what that poster said That such kids are less likely to be abused simply because they can say Vulva, penis

What for example should we do if the kid doesn't speak English as a first language?
Identify the language the child is speaking and get an interpreter? Hospitals and police forces can and do provide interpreters. Schools in areas where many children speak languages other than English often have staff who speak the local languages.

We won't try and unpick what they are saying because it's not the word vulva?
If a language other than English was spoken, then none of the other words would be understood either.

...or if they use more common slag like lady bits?
It's the very uncommon slang, the 'family language' terms, passed down through the generations, that cause huge problems.
But there is a problem with 'lady bits', 'front bottom', too; nobody knows if this refers to vulva, clitoris, or vagina.

Would we dismiss a boy who says X touched my dick or my pee pee because they didn't use the word Penis?
But those terms are very clearly referring to the penis. Girls have more genitalia, and the fact that some are internal makes a difference in legal terms.

It is very important for a girl to know that she has a vagina and to know what it is called.

@Mellowyellow222

TrollsAreSaddos I appreciate it’s not going to have a huge impact on anyone’s lives - but I am in my forties and was taught this at school. Knowing the names of body parts seems such a fundamental part of education.

When we are instructed to insert a tampon in our vaginas for example - surely you know what that it. It’s a very specific, internal area of the body.

I guess I am just surprised people didn’t know., and I do think we should all be better educated. Be harm can come from knowledge and it’s odd that women don’t know this - but men will certainly know the difference between their penis and their testicles for example.

I'm sure I was taught the proper name at school. I studied biology A level so presume it was mentioned but I forgot it probably because it it is of no consequence whatsoever.
You example of using a tampon is a rubbish example unless you think there have been women so confused about the correct terms that they've mistakenly stuffed a tampon up their nose or something. 🤔

Ok TrollsAreSaddos you clearly feel very strongly about this!

I just meant people actually do know that their vagina isn’t their vuvla - they just don’t really know how to disprove the wider area.

But I’m not going to fight about it 😌. I just think knowledge can never be a bad thing - and we shouldn’t sneer and roll our eyes about using the right terms.

Describe not disprove 😀. And there’s me talking about using the correct words

Think I will teach DD the correct term and may use a nickname too, like I do with her brother.

People here are pressing the importance of using the correct term ‘vulva’ to allow any references to abuse / inappropriate touching to be picked up by adults. I get that. But lots of people on this thread are also aghast at how many adults aren’t aware of the correct term for female genitalia, specifically that a vulva is called a vulva, not a vagina. If vulva isn’t in common parlance, perhaps it’s not as protective to teach as a name to young children if there are so many adults who don’t know what it means? Minefield!

Vagina ( Pagina her words)

I think it’s just that girls deserve to know the proper terms, so that women’s genitalia doesn’t always get treated like some shameful (or amusing) secret that has to be hidden or euphemised about because women’s bodies are somehow yucky or second-rate.

Every time this subject comes up on here, I learn a new euphemism for “vulva”. Usually it’s a word that’s well-known for having a totally different meaning (e.g. cookie, fairy, ninny) or it’s a girl’s name (e.g. Rosie, Mary, Minnie). It’s pretty confusing and I can’t keep up.

Flower
Mary
Noo noo
Privates
Twinkle

As a Reception teacher, I’ve heard them all!