I feel Awful about Christmas, am I a bad mum if I can't buy my 16month daughter gifts.

[NewMammaOfOne]

I feel so terrible but this year I can't afford to buy any present for my daughter will that make me a bad mum? I don't want her to grow up hating Christmas because of me. I've recently moved out by myself struggling to pay bills as well as rent after I paid all my bills for food nappies baby wipes I have around £20 it's absolutely impossible. I don't think I'll even have a tree this year. I feel terrible for her.

I've tried to look for grants and I can't seem to find any can't afford any loans.

What can I do to make my daughters Christmas better?

I'm honestly trying my best, please I hope no one thinks I'm not.

Any ideas are welcome

Thanks

XxXx

You are not a bad mother. At 16 months she won’t be aware of what Christmas is all about. It matters to you but as your prioritising keeping her warm, fed and dry this Christmas makes you a good mum. If you can access a library get some festive books. If you have a local Childrens centre they have some lovely groups and often do festive ones. If you can get a pack of balloons and get a big box off a free cycle page, blow them up, pop in the box and wrap. Once unwrapped have the best fun together playing ballon football or tennis.
Winter Christmas lights walk around the shops and streets.

You don't need to buy her anything, the only important thing for her is to be with her Mum. You love her and are doing your best for her, that's all that matters

If it important for you to be able to give her a present, then look in a charity shop and find a book or some small token thing for a few pence. Your daughter won't know or care that it's second hand, or what it cost.

Does she have other family?
Honestly, chocolate buttons, cartoons, mama cuddles. She’ll be fine

A packet of balloons is also a great idea!

She won’t know or care.
A magical Christmas isn’t about presents.

Im in the same boat, I'm going to make some cardboard animals and have drawn some black and white cards (my lo is still quite little) just trying to make some little things for him

Also look at your local Facebook marketplace - lots of people are putting on free trees and decorations this time of year as they get new ones.

This doesn’t make you a bad mum btw

You are definitely not a bad mum! I have a friend who has 15 month old who are wrapping up some unused toys just so they get to unwrap something!
You can go look at Christmas lights, see family, watch Christmas films and make Christmas cards with her own scribbles all for very little!
Honestly, you could wrap up a cardboard box and have her sit in it and draw with crayons on the inside and she’ll be loving life. Do not feel bad at all!

There are lots of charities that provide gifts for families in exactly your position. We buy toys for them every year maybe see if you can find out what’s available on your area.
Your little girl will have no idea that she’s missed out on anything at all. Do you have any family who will get her a little something?
The fact that your making good choices about how to spend your money shows you to be a brilliant parent.

Even though I could probably have adfordd to buy new when my dad was that age, I still bought nearly all.of.her Xmas and bday presents from NCT sales at that age. She literally didn't care, had absolutely no idea and was delighted with what she got. Honestly, you can get such a bargain at one of those sales.

She's 12 now and has no memory of any of those presents, but more importantly she lived them at the time.

Get her a little bit of something second hand and wrap it up. She will love it and absolute won't remember it anyway Inna few years.

Look on gumtree and market place and see if they have any toy bundles for free or cheap. Try charity shops, but honestly, she will not remember and it does not make you a bad mum. Sometimes you can get Christmas trees for nothing on second hand sites too, but she won't have a clue about that either.
Have you got and family or friends supporting you through this?

Crikey, what typos! I could have afforded it when my DD...

You're making sensible choices on how to spend your limited money, to provide your child with food, and shelter, and warmth. Sounds like good parenting to me.

I think the thing my DD loved when she was a baby was going to the local garden centre and looking at all the lights and displays! Presents aren't really important at this age. Just have a nice time together.

Your daughter will be happy with existing toys wrapped up. They always prefer the box at that age anyway! But please do reach out for support from local organisations. I know in my area there are organisations that provide presents for children, and Christmas food parcels. Your local food bank might be a good place to start, they will be part of a network.

She won't remember or care
Just have fun
Wrap old toys
Go to charity shop buy few things
Go to a kids Carol service in any church

My mum made a bed for my doll one birthday. It had a blanket and a pillow. I loved it and it’s only looking back I realise she must have been scrabbling something together

At 16 months it’s about what you feel you should be doing and not about her she’s too little. You’ve nothing to feel bad about and plenty of time to sort it for next year, be it saving fifty pence a week for your joint crimbo next year or knowing what charities to approach,

But call your health visitor, social worker, the Salvation Army etc, so many people now buy and donate gifts for children at Xmas it should not be hard to get yourself on the receiving end.

She won't have a clue, honestly.
You could try fb groups. Locally to me, there was a flood of stuff on sustainable pages etc when the lockdown was announced before Xmas. Or buy a few little bits from a charity shop. My local Marie curie does 4 children's books for a pound.
Good luck.
I think you're a lovely, wonderful mam for eveb thinking of this anyway. Your little one will love you no matter what x

At that age they won’t remember. This time of year lots of people gave a big clear out so I’d ask on a freebay group if you want a couple of bits to wrap. I’m sure people will be more than happy to pass things on. But she really won’t notice at this age.

16 months won't know or care.
Agree with others, wrap stuff she already has.
Speak to health visitor about money situation, see if you can get a food bank referral, they should have Christmas treats.
Make sure you're getting all the benefits you're entitled to.
Who will you be spending Christmas with? Is it just the two of you?
Take her to see the Christmas lights.
Take her to Carol and Chrisdingle church services, they're lovely even for confirmed atheists like me.
Look up other free Christmas activities and free Santa visits (although these will be for your memories, not hers).
Look on freecycle or Facebook for a free tree and decorations.
You can just use a big sock for a Christmas stocking, get a few sweets and still some stuff you already have in there.

Have a great Christmas op, you can do it.

You're not a bad mum. Not at all. Are you getting all the benefits you're entitled to? Have you spoken to your HV who could signpost for support or refer you to services? We've got community pantries in our area that take referrals and give out Christmas food parcels and presents (these are in addition to food banks). Local buy nothing/free Facebook groups are great for toys and kids clothes so definitely worth a look. I do a regular sell of things via eBay, marketplace and music magpie so that might be worth doing as well if you've got things lying round you don't need that might make a bit of cash.

She's too young to understand Christmas so yeah either wrap up a few toys she already has or have a look in a few charity shops for some little toys. Both of my two have got second hand gifts (eBay & charity shop) this Christmas. We're going to the Christmas light switch on in our town (free), the church carol service (free) and the rotary club Santa will be round (free but will give a donation). Pinterest has loads of ideas of Christmas craft you can do like handprint cards that would be easy and fun if you wanted to do something festive together.

I have had a recent clear out depending on your location I could post to you.

Oh, and be glad you're not adding the the global mountain of new plastic crap that neither your daughter or the planet need.