Oct/Nov babies - finally earthside! ❤

[MyGrassIsBrowner]

Welcome earthside little ones! 🌍

@mooloop eeeeek congratulations!!! Hope you and baby are well. Make sure you rest up as you can, recovery from emergency sections tend to take a bit longer so make sure you take all the help you can get! X

@mrssunshinexxx congratulations, sorry you had it rough but baby is here and safe now! Time to rest up now and enjoy your bundle of joy!

@ChristmasAtHogwarts I'm 5 weeks post section now, my scar has healed although I did get a small infection and had to have antibiotics. I think I've got abit of post partum depression now and my to be honest my body is wrecked. Looking forward to my post partum check up with the GP tbh.

Xx

Thank you @MyGrassIsBrowner any good tips for recovery with a toddler

@mooloop @mrssunshinexxx congratulations!! Babies finally here 🤍 sending you lots of ❤️

@mrssunshinexxx Oh sorry lovely. Yes hindsight is amazing but like you say, you are safe and your beautiful baby is here which is what matters. Hopefully your recovery isn't too bad but thats a lot of blood loss so definitrly take it extra easy for a while!

@MyGrassIsBrowner Sorry to hear you aren't feeling yourself. Can I ask what your signs are that make tou feel this way. I am still early on so identifying between baby blues and the start of post partum depression is so tricky. Like yourself, if it is festering I would want help and to resolve it asap.

Just did my first full night 😭 Well besides my hospital stint. Dreading getting to that level of tired again as it really knocked me. Baby girl usuall goes 4hours for feeds at night, typically was 3 today on the dot... safe to say I am super tired but I will continue to sleep when she does throughout today and keep on top of it i hope. Gosh babies are hard hahaha

@Juicytoot287 thank you, you are totally right just not looking forward to the recovery with a toddler but going to take one day at a time and know I really really gave it my all to have a vaginal
Birth but it wasn't meant to be. I was anaemic before so yeah it's not going to be pleasant I think I'm going to feel so much better after a shower. Do you have a HV you feel like you can to about how you are feeling or are you opening up to your partner / mum/ friend ? @MyGrassIsBrowner

I never got baby blues last time but I was crippled with grief my mum had just suddenly died 6 weeks before so I think I just had something 'bigger' to be sad / emotional/ a complete state about so not sure what to expect this time. Being a mum is hard enough though it's a shame we aren't all built to feel on top of the world through the sleep deprivation! X

@Juicytoot287 the sleep deprivation is what had rocked me the most with both my girls, it's absolute torture. I think I calculated I went around 36 hours with no sleep in the hospital and when I got home after my stay I started seeing stuff move and was hallucinating quite badly. It's honestly horrific so please if you can, get as much sleep as possibly especially when baby is sleeping. The first few weeks will be hard sleep wise and trying to get into some sort of routine, but it does come eventually and it gets easier.
So basically at the moment I just feel like I'm muddling through each day by the skin of my teeth. I've got no apetite, I'm truly exhausted. I hate my body and I look like utter shit everyday. I've just totally lost my spark. I had a bit of a meltdown a few days ago and DP had to come home from work, and I knew at that point I was going to a dark place. I've called my GP today and then blubbed down the phone to the receptionist but she couldnt guarantee my a consultation today as all the appointments were taken so may have to call on Monday instead. Were staying over at my mums tomorrow though I just need to get away. Sadly I've no family or support nearby so I have literally no one to turn to other than my DP who works full-time. I cry most days. I've just got no lust for life anymore like I used to and I hate myself for feeling like it.

@mrssunshinexxx oh I'm so sorry about your mum, that must have been absolutely devestating. I've honestly got no real constructive advice for getting through day to day with a toddler and newborn after section other than just concentrate on making it through the next hour. Dont sweat about housework and if you can get them to nap at the same time then get your head down immediately! Scarlett naps around 1-2pm for a couple of hours and then I make sure Macy is fed and down for a sleep then I just crash on the sofa.

Xx

@MyGrassIsBrowner Really sorry it has got you feeling this low. Do not beat yourself up for feeling this way. Your body has been battered for these babies, you had PGP making your pregnancy uncomfortable to say the least and now you take time to heal from major surgery, it is normal to not feel comfortable but actually your body is now the most beautiful it could be as it has carried 2 beautiful babies through to life. In time, once you can get moving more and what not youre body will return to its old self or a version of. I understand the feeling as I feel a lot less myself than I though I would in terms of fitness and ability to get moving. Naively I expected to bounce back but it just isn't reality which is hard to come to terms with.
Not having support is a massive thing weighing you down. If I am tired or deprived, both out families are offering to come watch the baby ao we sleep or switch off importantly. I haven't taken them up on the offer but I know it is there which helps me. I honestly feel seeing you mum will do you good, use it as a chance to sleep and recuperate. We are all here to support you when you need a melt down or nine! Always feel free to private message me too if you need, I am very available on my phone and happy to be an ear etc. We are all going through this and it is bloody hard! We deserve a break lol I said to my partner when she was born in a meltdown 4 days in, just home from hospital with zero sleep and pure exhaustion that I couldn't cope. I was in tears saying that I loved her, and I knew I did but I felt utterly trapped and couldn't do this. He sent me to bed, and kept an eye on her so I could rest. Honestly as the days went on and I had recuperated some sleep and rest I felt more myself. Hopefully this rest will do similar for you xxxx

@mrssunshinexxx Oh you have nor eason to justify how hard you tried! All births are natural and vaginal birth was not worth risking that scar in the end anyway. It is just a shame you went through all that to end up having an EMCS in terms of the recovery. But take it easy and just enjoy lay down cuddles and chilling whilst yoy heal. Mention the Anemia asap as they may get you on iron tablets and what not. You will feel weak and tired I assume so let your body heal. I didn't wait and only lost 400ml with my episiotomy and still felt exhausted half way round Asda a week on - we should definitely not do too much.

Side note, when do you stop bleeding lol. Its so annoying as it starts and stops so never know to pad or not to pad!

@MyGrassIsBrowner oh I just want to hug you imagine if we all lived in the same place how much support we could give each other. Do you have any close friends with young children ? I think going to your mums sounds th best idea ever she will look after you could you stay on there abit longer without your husband? It's also a positive thing you have contacted your gp. Is your hv any good? Please keep talking on here I will help in any way I can x

Oh you ladies are lovely! 🥰 I'm also always here for you too! If you ever need to vent or just chat, I usually have my phone in close proximity lol.

@Juicytoot287 I'm honestly so blessed to have been able to carry two children and them be healthy and beautiful but sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed by how much my body has changed. I always struggled with my weight before getting pregnant and I lost over 3st in a year, I was very happy with where I was at and now it's totally changed and it's hard not to mourn my pre-pregnancy body.
You're right though, a good sleep helps unbelievably! By the way, my bleeding has only just stopped and I'm just over 5 weeks PP. Strangely my bleeding lasted longer with my vaginal delivery, but I put that down to my placenta being yanked out of me (they never gave me the injection to make it come away)
And to be honest the week after my section I wasnt bleeding too heavily, they must have really cleared me out in theatre.

@mrssunshinexxx Oh bless you that's so lovely. Where are you girls based just out of interest? I'm in North Lincolnshire. Seems a lot of women on mumsnet are all down south though!
Well I got in touch with my GP and shes prescribed me 20mg Citalopram so I'm feeling better about that at least. My HV is coming on the 15th actually but to be honest no offence to the woman she's lovely but she just reads from a textbook and I dont feel like it's sincere if you get me.

Xx

@MyGrassIsBrowner I am happy you are seeking help and please check in as I am thinking of you now! I am based in the midlands, got our doggo from Lincoln though!

@MyGrassIsBrowner definitely know what you mean re HV, good you have been prescribed something I really hope it helps, is your husband supportive ? I'm still in hospital decided to stay in another night dreaded night 2 not been to sleep yet since 6 am this morning I remember how bad night 2 was with my lo. Feel like a zombie already need to try and be as patient as possible with my toddler as she's going to have no clue why I'm in pain / knackered

Ooos North Yorkshire @MyGrassIsBrowner

@mrssunshinexxx I was in hospital for 4 nights in the end, 5 days and was so tired. They just don't help you sleep lol. Hopefully your DP supports you with your toddler so you can focus in you and baby for a while recovering.

@Juicytoot287 Awh! What doggo do you have??

@mrssunshinexxx My DP is hugely supportive and honestly, he's such an amazing father. But I think generally with blokes, they do find it difficult to deal with 'womens issues' iyswim. He tries his best but sometimes I end up taking my frustrations out on him. He just wants me to be happy and it breaks his heart when I'm visibly distraught. I do feel sorry for him cause he puts up with some shit from me.
Oooh I love North Yorkshire, my DP used to work in Helmsley! Xx

I also dont envy the long hospital stays both of you. I couldn't get out quick enough especially from that nasty midwife 😭 she didn't want to discharge me, DP had to get involved in the end. I'm still yet to leave a review of the maternity services tbh.

@Juicytoot287 the midwife offered to take Eden at 3.30am this morning when I still hadn't been to sleep ! So got 3 hours then which felt like bliss.
@MyGrassIsBrowner I know what you mean I think things are a lot more black and white for them it's so hard to explain how we feel with hormones racing around and all the bodily changes we are going through plus sleep deprivation but none of it will last x

@mrssunshinexxx that is good! Our ward was so overrun, that was never an option 😭🙈

Congrats on all the new babies!

@MyGrassIsBrowner so sorry you're feeling down 😞. Sounds like you're doing all the right things and seeking out support, it's such a bloody hard time - trying to care for your family whilst recovering ❤️‍🩹 I hope the stay at your Mums' goes well and you feel better soon xx

I'm hanging in there, as a FTM I don't think i realised how full on it was all going to be!! Ems boobs all day and will only stay asleep on me (hates her cot and her Sleepyhead and squirms out of her bouncer) which is exhausting but I'm getting used to it slowly and giving less of a shit about housework. Night times we got a decent routine, DH sleeping in spare room so we have have more space as bed sharing and am expressing throughout the day so we have a nice amount of milk to give her before bed. Expressing is a bit grim tbh but she's not putting weight back on as quickly as she should (which makes me feel terrible 😢) so needs must.

Other than that I have really bad piles and have steroid cream which I am praying will fix it. Showing actual bum to doctor was a new low 😟 to think it was my fanny I was worried about 😩

Dog got hold of my nipple cream today and found it chewed up in her basket 🐶 🤪

@MyGrassIsBrowner aww I really hope you’re feeling better 🤍 don’t be too hard on yourself you’re doing amazing!

@summerhillgang can I ask when you started expressing? I want to start but not sure when the right time is? I’m thinking waiting till next week when it’ll of been 3 weeks? Also when do you express? Before or after feed?
We’ve got the same problem she won’t sleep for long in her crib & will only really sleep when on us. I was so tired last night I caved and gave her a dummy an co slept with her just to get a few hours sleep

@NW2021 I think you can start anytime if there's a need to boost supply as in my case eg weight gain is a little slow (although quite common in BF babies) but it's been good as DH can feed her which I think will be good for their bonding. My midwife said it's good to get her using the bottle early on so she's not fussy in the future. Don't be disheartened when you start though as only a tiny amount will come out, but it quickly increases. I am using the Medela Maxi which is ok but you have to hold it in place.
I think it's totally normal for them to not want to be separated so just go with the flow. Co sleeping means more sleep for both you and baby so all good, I boob Ems when she's lying down and I lie next to her, and she does down really easily that way.
Also caved in tonight and gave dummy but only during the 9-10pm witching hour and for car journeys. I want her to conserve energy so she gains weight quicker, and screaming and thrashing around isn't helping so pacifier makes sense. She actually fell asleep for 30 mins in her bouncer too. So maybe it will help me get a bit of a break when I need it too.

@NW2021 oh in terms of timing, I tend to do it when baby is feeding on the other boob as it tricks body into believing you have twins and ups supply quickly - and also just look at boobs and if one feels big then I focus on that one. I just collect it up during the day and give it in one hit at night before bed in hope it will make her sleepy and satisfy her so sleeps longer. Not sure if this is the right way to do it but seems to be working good so far x

Thanks @summerhillgang this is really helpful. I think I’ll have a go this week and see how I get on. Will help if OH can at least do one feed if I’ve expressed. Luckily my LO is putting on weight nicely but I just want to have some expressed so I don’t have to worry if I need to nip out etc & like you said get her use to a bottle early on.

That was going to be another one of my questions, I’ve express throughout the day can I add it all together in one bottle? Then like you use it at night or freeze it. I didn’t know if you could mix each expressed amount?!
Sorry I’m new to all I this, no idea what’s right 🙈

@NW2021 Not breastfeeding anymore but the hospital asked me to express in there and said it was fine to continue and this was like 15 hours after birth. I know I had to do it for health reasons with the baby but it clearly cant be that much of an issue to start if they asked me to 🤷🏻‍♀️ But I couldn't mix my milk
I could put milk from both breasts in a session in, but when I expressed 4 hours later, it had to go seperately. Did mean sometimes it was very disappointing the amount but even in 4 days it went up massively so don't be disheartened. The hospital also used Mendela or whatever it is which worked well and you can rent!

@mygrassisbrowner I have a goldador, lovable lump. We are meant to go to Lincoln for a meet up with her siblings in the new year which will be lovely

@NW2021 I just collect it across the day and put in the fridge between pumping, my midwife didn't seem to have any issue with this approach. I have the sterliser bags that you put in the microwave so just make sure everything is clean when you begin (so generally I'll collect milk between early afternoon and early evening whilst I cluster feed) and then transfer from pump bottle to sterilised feeding bottle. I bought the Minbie bottles as they have a test that's like a nipple and she took them instantly x