NSPCC: Parents who are abrupt with their children and choose low-key celebrations may be guilty of “mild neglect”

[ShrinkingViolet9]

www.pressreader.com/uk/the-sunday-telegraph/20211024/281852941774302

Children's charity criticises 'abrupt parents'

also:

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/parents-who-are-abrupt-could-be-neglectful-60pb8m8wt

Parents who are abrupt 'could be neglectful'

"A big children’s charity has warned that parents who are abrupt with their children and choose low-key celebrations may be guilty of “mild neglect”."

Looks like NSPCC are big into celebrations:

www.nspcc.org.uk/support-us/ways-to-give/weddings-birthdays-celebrations/

"Tailor your event with our favours, gift cards and children’s gifts. It’s an easy way to make a big difference and share with your guests that helping children is important to you. Whether it’s your wedding, anniversary celebration or birthday, personalise your event with us."

The person I knew who was most neglectful to her children, her home was immaculate. Utterly immaculate. Toys were thrown away within weeks of birthdays as they made a mess. She would ignore her children just to clean, they had minimal clothes to save mess.

Interesting to see how people who rent scale on that. Given we can’t decorate, and can’t put up decorations

And yes, the consumerist tat, the party bags, helium balloons, piñatas, party decorations etc etc - why is not falling into the next retail opportunity trap seen as neglectful?

Some of the parents I know who routinely palm their kids off so they can go out on the lash with new partners are the ones who Facebook their little princess surrounded by presents and decorations as if that can make up for real parental neglect and arseholery.

Each year moving in with the Amish appeals more.😂

Yes can definitely be money but also the individual child’s personality/wants. Even as adults we all have different preferences for celebrating our birthdays.

Also parents who do have the spare money but aren’t into a lot of the elaborate extras you see advertised. Even birthday sleepovers with friends now have companies who turn up with individual teepees, decorations, balloon archways etc. I could technically afford this but wouldn’t pay for it, I don’t feel like my child is neglected because of that. Most children genuinely would be happy with some pizzas and a film at a sleepover.

I thought we'd moved on from judging how people keep their homes and the idea that your children could be removed if your house wasn't up to scratch.
When I was a single parent of 3 dc in the '80's and '90's I was frequently told by my mother and sister that I was lucky that the ds were not "taken away" because of the state of my house ( never offered to help though)

Just last week one of my neighbours said that someone she knows will lose their dc because she had piles of washing in the kitchen! Unfortunately this attitude still persists.

Now the NSPCC are perpetuating the idea that a messy house = neglect. Let's blame it on the women yeah? 😡

"To score a one, events must be celebrated with lots of enthusiasm and elaborate preparation" Fuck that. I don't want to raise my children to be materialistic and all about the social media expectations and comparisons.

And because I choose to spend £60 taking them to the trampoline park in half term rather than £60 on paint for the hallway which is looking a little scruffy, I'm mildly neglecting them? No I'm not. It means I've got my priorities straight.

@TheWayTheLightFalls

I saw this this morning. Terrible. Devalues (for lack of a better term) the idea of neglect.

Yes this.

www.pressreader.com/uk/the-sunday-telegraph/20211024/281852941774302

"The NSPCC sells GCP2* to social services for up to £13,500 for the licence and training."

*Graded Care Profile 2 assessment tool

Wow, I think I'm neglecting my children :(
No wonder parents are so anxious nowadays!

Does it make it better that we moved into a house in need of more than 'slight redecoration' to get our children into a better school?

Also, what does this even mean? I wouldn't describe mouldy walls or leaks as 'slight' so are they taking about decor choices that just aren't to the social workers taste?

*talking

We have friends who are always upbeat with their DC, never say a cross word to them or in front of them – seriously, if they disagree with each other during the day they schedule a row for the evening when the kid is in bed! It's Stepford parenting and exhausting to watch and the upshot is their DC has zero tools for conflict resolution, so any friendship fall outs that our kid might brush off triggers hysteria. But according to this report, we should all be like that 24/7 or we're neglecting our kids. It's barmy.

Is the actual tool available anywhere?

Who is going to challenge them for putting this utter drivel online as official advice/guidelines for recognising neglect?

I don't want my DC taught anything from these wallies if they think not having large celebrations and or guests in your twice a year decorated house is neglect, and having a frazzled parent who occasionally loses their cool when at the end of their tether.

What fuckery is this? It's just another way to make single, isolated mums and families feel bad about being poor and encourage living on HP.

My DC is 3 this week and we are having a birthday afternoon tea with grandparents and that's basically it! He's got 3 presents and some balloons and I've got the day off so we are going to the park... I look forward to my discussion with a social worker.

@SickAndTiredAgain

From the article 'Homes in need of 'slight repair' or those that are 'reasonably clean most of the time with some redecoration needed' would also score a 3 for slight neglect.

I don’t know how anyone could write that with a straight face. Children are not in any way neglected because the living room could do with a fresh coat of paint, or because their parents can’t spend loads of money updating an old but still functional kitchen.

Do social workers appreciate this input?

Social workers don't think much about NSPCC at all The only contact we have with them is when people have annoyingly referred to NSPCC instead of directly to us and we have to get the referral through the NSPCC form which is long and complicated They are a waste of time and money

This is chilling actually.

The NSPCC is a ridiculous organisation.

When I did my social work training 20 years ago (I have remained in practice since, but with adults, not children) they came to deliver a few days of workshops. They were hysterically bad, totally driven by middle class values. I remember one of the trainers advising a fellow student being asked to moderate her very normal and intelligible regional accent in order to "be taken more seriously". The Chief Exec where I work now has the same accent.

We nicknamed the trainers Margot (Good Life) and Tree Hugger. Their total disconnection from everyday life was very clear even to students, and no-one on that course took them seriously.

@PiglingBlonde

From the article 'Homes in need of 'slight repair' or those that are 'reasonably clean most of the time with some redecoration needed' would also score a 3 for slight neglect.

But you can't ignore your children to do the repair and decoration or that would be worse neglect.

Are the NSPCC branching out into a home maintenance service?

What happens if your landlord won't do the repairs, or when due to Covid Housing Associations have such a bank log they are currently dealing with emergency repairs only.

Which is completely understandable as they don't want to go into homes unless it is essential.

What happens to all the parents in work but visiting food banks because they are on the breadline?

One of the best children's parties I ever went to with my DD when she was younger must have cost around five quid

This could also be perceived as ableist since my DC on the autism spectrum all hate celebrations and having attention on them.

So is this something that social services will be spending tax payers money on?

Is there any one looking into this stuff - and whether its fit for purpose and worth spending tax payers money on or do they just believe it must be useful as it's the NSPCC?

Wow, coming from thrle charity that advised me that it was my fault my ex was struggling to cope with our 3 year old son to the extent he was leaving bruises on him, and that I just needed to support him more.

NSPCC - the same organisation that thinks its OK for an employee to wear a rubber suit to work and upload vids of himself wanking in the toilets at work?? That NSPCC?

The whole idea is a bit dystopia actually.
Ordinary parents default state is to be permanently in the wrong. You'd better hope you don't come to their attention because you can't defend yourself against being occasionally abrupt and have dodgy paintwork in the hall

This is based on evolutionary theory apparently!
thecritic.co.uk/issues/october-2021/the-parent-trap/

This is just further proof that NSPCC is no longer fit for purpose

@zen1

This could also be perceived as ableist since my DC on the autism spectrum all hate celebrations and having attention on them.

And ableist because disabled parents may find it harder to throw the excessive celebrations required.

I’d probably count as being part of the Instagram generation but I never intend on throwing huge parties full of tat for my DC. It’s bad for the planet.