NSPCC: Parents who are abrupt with their children and choose low-key celebrations may be guilty of “mild neglect”

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www.pressreader.com/uk/the-sunday-telegraph/20211024/281852941774302

Children's charity criticises 'abrupt parents'

also:

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/parents-who-are-abrupt-could-be-neglectful-60pb8m8wt

Parents who are abrupt 'could be neglectful'

"A big children’s charity has warned that parents who are abrupt with their children and choose low-key celebrations may be guilty of “mild neglect”."

Looks like NSPCC are big into celebrations:

www.nspcc.org.uk/support-us/ways-to-give/weddings-birthdays-celebrations/

"Tailor your event with our favours, gift cards and children’s gifts. It’s an easy way to make a big difference and share with your guests that helping children is important to you. Whether it’s your wedding, anniversary celebration or birthday, personalise your event with us."

homeschooled - not home scummy 😁

This can’t be serious
I’m not even sure a child who never so much has a parent raise their voice or speak to them in a ‘brisk’ or ‘abrupt’ way (no matter how they’re misbehaving) and who must always have expensive, elaborate parties and celebrations has the best chance of being a happy, well-rounded adult.

Oh dear.

I remember when I was decorating when DC was little, they literally wrote and drew all over the bare plaster - which was like that for weeks as I did not have time to progress it. They had a fabulous time and I have the photos of their artworks, which were eventually covered up. Then DS (who is on the autistic spectrum) had a meltdown and scribbled over the wall - which again stayed there for ages until he was old enough to know not to do that and I repainted.

More seriously, my ex was very, very rigid about how the house had to be, it was stifling and exhausting. My standards had slipped since we separated, but good grief, it is far less stressful. I will take a three for my mental health, rather than the 1 I would have got when we were together. Social services really, truly have more important things to worry about.

Finally, I was reflecting on this when DS was making himself go entirely rigid this morning and not wanting to get ready for school. I wonder how the author of this text would deal with that day in day out. I mostly approach it with laughter and jokes and silly stories, but dear God, my hair is grey with it. And I am too exhausted to apply for the promotion that would allow me to replace the kitchen!

Like a po I gave up on the NSPCC long ago so really it's just an extension of their previous stated positions.
Isn't their main "job" lobbying government on this (drivel) agenda?

Like a previous poster..

I’m not sure how them selling wedding favours to raise money to prevent child neglect is connected to them saying abrupt parents who don’t celebrate a child’s birthday are being mildly neglectful.

I would read the full article it it’s behind a pay wall.

This is extremely poorly thought through and culturally insensitive. Is there some universal agreement about what counts as ‘in need of some redecoration’?

Oh no, my whole house needs redecorating.

Whilst I think it's important to celebrate your child's birthday, you also have to take into account the personality of your child and what they want to do. This might mean they prefer a small low-key family affair over a big birthday bash.

It's so awful. Some people can't afford big celebrations!!!!!

We don’t go in our living room because it needs decorating and the gas fire doesn’t work. We could only afford one sofa so we put it in the kitchen because it was warmer and cleaner. It would cost us at least £5k for a new gas fire, plastering and painting, flooring and furniture. So we are neglectful because we don’t have £5k to spare?

What we celebrate and how we do it are hugely variable depending on culture and a whole host of individual variables. Same with how people engage with their children or decorate their houses or any of this stuff. There’s no single, correct way to do any of it.

I really don’t think they’ve thought through equalities issues at all in relation to this nonsense. Or just practicalities.

Tbh, I’d expect nothing better from the NSPCC really.

The OTT celebration thing is a bit generation Instagram too. I suspect what would have been seen as a lavish celebration when we were young might now only scrape into low-key.

Yes, this!
My childhood birthdays don’t seem that long ago (late 1990s and early 2000s) yet they would be definitely seem very ‘low-key’ by a lot of today’s standards. They were all wonderful birthdays though.

@BloomingTrees

Oh no, my whole house needs redecorating.

Whilst I think it's important to celebrate your child's birthday, you also have to take into account the personality of your child and what they want to do. This might mean they prefer a small low-key family affair over a big birthday bash.

Fully agree with this! my oldest DD absolutely hates big, busy parties and events and get overwhelmed very quickly with noise and lots of people

Does the NSPCC suggest i force her into a situation which would cause her distress?

Christ we've bought a four bedroom house with a big garden for our future kids.. We now have a baby... But we can't renovate it all at once... I mean we're could have stayed in the terraced house with a concrete yard and sweary neighbours... At least that place would have had fresh paint

This might mean they prefer a small low-key family affair over a big birthday bash
Surely it’s about money? As a child I had a birthday tea party at home on one single occasion, because my mum had won a bit of money and could afford the extra food. I NEVER had a big party at a hall or venue because we didn’t have the money. Not even when I was 18. It was disappointing but not abusive.

NSPCC Learning:

learning.nspcc.org.uk/research-resources/2018/implementation-evaluation-deliver-graded-care-profile-2

Graded Care Profile 2 (GCP2) is an assessment tool which helps practitioners measure the quality of care a child is receiving. We’ve evaluated the tool and found it to be effective in helping identify whether a child is at risk of neglect. We’re now making GCP2 available to other organisations so that more children and families can benefit from it (we call this scale-up).

We wanted to find out how well the scale-up process worked in practice, and identify ways we could make it easier for other organisations to implement GCP2. So we carried out an evaluation, involving a range of professionals who were implementing the tool.

Authors: Emma Smith, Robyn Johnson, Tove Andersson
Published: 2018

etc

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Implementation evaluation of Graded Care Profile 2

Topics: Neglect

Evaluation of how we support organisations to deliver Graded Care Profile 2 (GCP2)

Download Report: Implementation evaluation of the scale-up of Graded Care Profile 2 (GDP2) (PDF)

learning.nspcc.org.uk/media/1043/implementation-evaluation-scale-up-gcp2.pdf

This is disgusting

Yes, the celebrations and decorations side is shockingly materialistic.
The emotional side ( though I do sympathize with that more) could be seen as it's boosterish cousin.
Both of which I grew up associating with US based post war culture. But yes I see the Instagram generation side to it. I suppose it's reflecting a certain cultural norm. But it leaves a sour taste.

Marelle, definitely not all about money. I hated birthday 'parties' as a kid, mine and other people's. My favourite tea with the family at home and a birthday cake was my birthday heaven. Was obviously neglected.....

This from charity that accused people pointing out that having an employee filming himself masterbatting at work and posting it online of kink shaming and worse. The same charity that argued for children to be allowed into opposite sex changing facilities and for affirmation therapy only and happily refers children and parents to mermaids have no right or moral standing to claim anything as stupid as this as abuse or "mild neglect " ffs

Is anyone going to challenge the nspcc on this?

I couldn’t read the whole articles so just snippets. Dear god, what a load of bollocks!!!

How many families live in damp terrible conditions because they’re housing associations won’t fix the problem… are they going to get their children taken off them? Ultimately because they haven’t got £350,000 to buy a brand new house of their own?

The cost of living in this country is getting higher and higher and people can barley afford to feed themselves, never mind throwing extravagant parties…

Kids can be loved and cared for despite the above circumstances.

I would read the full article it it’s behind a pay wall.

The Sunday Telegraph article can be read here:

www.pressreader.com/uk/the-sunday-telegraph/20211024/281852941774302