I'm heavily pregnant, exhausted and struggling.
Took almost-3 year old to dance club this morning, after which she had a very public meltdown because she didn't want to wear her shoes. She was refusing to walk, screaming at the top of her lungs, and kicking me every time I went close. I had several shopping bags and I really can't carry her anymore, I'm going to do myself an injury. In the end, I had no choice and I had to pick her up and carry her. I had to put her down several times on the way back to the car but the tantrum continued, so ended up carrying her the whole way. I've hurt myself.
I started off calm and patient completely, but eventually completely lost my temper. I was rough picking her up (maybe inevitable to a certain extent, when you're trying to pick up a dead-weight, screaming toddler, while heavily pregnant and carrying several bags) and I really yelled at her in the car. Home now, and I can't stop crying. I feel guilty for losing my temper, guilty that I'm still so angry (she's over it now, obviously) and absolutely terrified that in a few weeks, I'm going to have to manage this sort of behaviour but with newborn in tow.
Feeling like a comprehensively shitty mother. God knows what all of our spectators thought, watching that little display. What a mess.
Not sure why I'm posting. Please be gentle.