Feeling annoyed about school and need to rant!

[november90]

I'm sure most will read this and think I'm being unreasonable... maybe I am but I just need to vent!
My son is 4 and just started reception. Like most his age, suffered a lot due to the lockdowns etc and is having some difficulty adjusting to school. He is finding his uniform very difficult to wear as he doesn't feel comfy. It's mainly the pants. I put his issues with certain textures on his nursery transition form, i mentioned it on the pre school meeting, the home visit and also the phonics meeting 2 weeks ago. I just want assurance he's ok to wear his shorts which they have always told me he is. Anyway, dropped him off today and the teacher was really abrupt with me about wearing his pe shorts and not joggers... they way them to go into school wearing both at the same time. I felt so embarrassed and also annoyed.... why tell me one minute he's ok tk wear shorts but the next she wants the joggers and shorts?!
Also, the reading book annoys me. I made ds feel so proud about himself last week for doing a reading session everyday and he watched me fill the book out and when it got send home after being reviewed not so much a sticker or well done comment! Completely blank!
I've spoke to my family about this who say I'm expecting too much from school... but I just feel sad that we're like 6 weeks into school and o feel so distant from it all!
Anyone else have a new school child and feel the same? I know teachers are stressed and restricted due to Covid, but as a parent I'm finding it hard!

The parent isn’t a trained professional though, why would they be giving tips to the teacher?

It’s funny you think filling in a diary makes reading more fun.

So the teacher is going to tell the parent how to teach their child instead?
Maybe the teacher could teach the child and the parent could just listen to the child read.

And actually parental involvement and encouragement can absolutely make reading and any school work more fun - but you would know that if you work with pupils in schools wouldn’t you?

@Hulkynothunky

Why? The parent isn’t a trained professional, how do they know the ins and outs of phonics?..

The person who actually heard the reading is the only person who can comment.

There is something wrong with society if we think teachers are the only ones who can give feedback to children to improve their understanding.

I do not believe you are a teacher for one minute. You have zero idea how much time teachers have and how important parental engagement is.

It's a way to encourage parents to read to their kids. How can that be bad?

Because it doesn’t encourage them to read to their kids. It encourages them to fill in a reading diary. I have every idea of how important parental involvement is - I’m in Scotland and it’s one of the many, many ways we can close the attainment gap. I’m saying: this is a poor way to do it. It’s nothing.

You don’t have to believe I’m a teacher.

Children who do more at home of anything than they do at school will show greater progress at it at school.
Of course they will.

However reading is a skill that spans all the subject disciplines. Being able and encouraged to read means you can learn and learn and learn. Read The Vocabulary Gap if you want to know more.

@toocold54

The parent isn’t a trained professional though, why would they be giving tips to the teacher?

It’s funny you think filling in a diary makes reading more fun.

So the teacher is going to tell the parent how to teach their child instead?
Maybe the teacher could teach the child and the parent could just listen to the child read.

And actually parental involvement and encouragement can absolutely make reading and any school work more fun - but you would know that if you work with pupils in schools wouldn’t you?

See above - I know exactly how important parental involvement is. I’m saying: this is a rubbish way to get parents involved.

Because it doesn’t encourage them to read to their kids. It encourages them to fill in a reading diary.

My friends and I all say we read more with our kids because of the school reading diary. The school has a phonics app too that I wouldn't have even considered getting without school encouragment.

Honestly, threads like this make me wonder why I bother volunteering.
I find reading diaries useful in my capacity as a volunteer. It means I can chat with the children about what they’ve read, see what they’re struggling with and can spend more time with those who aren’t read with at home.
Glad to know the professionals consider it useless though.

I’m saying: this is a rubbish way to get parents involved.

Why?

Sadly some parents won't read to their children

Sadly some parents don’t have the time between coming home from their first job and throwing tea down their kids throat and going to their second job and far from “encouraging” them to read to their kids, it is yet another reminder that others think they are failing their kids.

Sadly some parents can’t read to their kids.

Sadly some parents aren’t feeding their kids properly, can we expect a diary home to to list what they had for tea?

These diaries are performative at best. Those who won’t, wont, no matter how many diaries they have. Those who will, would do it no matter what. Those who are only doing it so they aren’t judged, probably are filling in the diary without doing the reading.

Here’s what you do with the information: identity the parents who don’t fill in the diary. That’s the only conclusion you can come to here.

What about page number?
If they’re reading the same book in school a simple note in the reading diary to say what page number has been read will absolutely be beneficial to the child and listener.

@Hercisback

Because it doesn’t encourage them to read to their kids. It encourages them to fill in a reading diary.

My friends and I all say we read more with our kids because of the school reading diary. The school has a phonics app too that I wouldn't have even considered getting without school encouragment.

Ah, now a phonics app is useful. That’s a totally different thing.

@TheGrumpyGoat

Honestly, threads like this make me wonder why I bother volunteering. I find reading diaries useful in my capacity as a volunteer. It means I can chat with the children about what they’ve read, see what they’re struggling with and can spend more time with those who aren’t read with at home. Glad to know the professionals consider it useless though.

Volunteers like you are worth their weight in gold.

Our DCs reading records get checked daily and the children are giving house points for how ever many times they've read.

Parent and teacher comments.

Also those children who aren't routinely reading at home often have priority when it comes to reading with the TA or at least that's how it worked at our school.

I also sympathise with your sons sensory issues OP. My son struggles with labels in his uniform. Can often have battles in the morning if I've forgotten to cut one out.

I'd maybe email the teacher and ask why all of a sudden shorts aren't OK, could it be a case of just forgetting? I imagine teachers are told so many things by different parents it could be quite easy to forget or make a mistake.

@Hercisback

I’m saying: this is a rubbish way to get parents involved.

Why?

Because it doesn’t do anything.

Because it doesn’t encourage them to read to their kids. It encourages them to fill in a reading diary.

Yes, the parent could make up they've read to their child. How sad is that? Think about that for a moment. Is every single parent making up the log? Of course not. Do some patents need a reminder - yes. That's not to say they are bad parents- maybe just busy parents.

What methods do you use then to encourage parents to read to their children?

My friends and I all say we read more with our kids because of the school reading diary.

You need to have a think about why that is. Surely you read to your kids because it helps them, not just because teach is watching?

The school has a phonics app too that I wouldn't have even considered getting without school encouragment.

Encouragement? Or they said “here’s an app for you to try”.

@TheGrumpyGoat I consider you very valuable, your time spent hearing children read is very generous and supportive to the most vulnerable children.
Ignore the naysayers.

@toocold54

Here’s what you do with the information: identity the parents who don’t fill in the diary. That’s the only conclusion you can come to here.

What about page number?
If they’re reading the same book in school a simple note in the reading diary to say what page number has been read will absolutely be beneficial to the child and listener.

Why? It’s better active learning if they find the page themselves. So they can understand where they are in the book, they can either remember or work it out. That’s much more useful than someone telling them.

Encouragement? Or they said “here’s an app for you to try”

Which is encouraging! I got the app and my child uses it. They wouldn't have had it without school. My child would have done less phonics practise than he does now.

@Hulkynothunky

Because it doesn’t encourage them to read to their kids. It encourages them to fill in a reading diary.

Yes, the parent could make up they've read to their child. How sad is that? Think about that for a moment. Is every single parent making up the log? Of course not. Do some patents need a reminder - yes. That's not to say they are bad parents- maybe just busy parents.

What methods do you use then to encourage parents to read to their children?

Loads - we have books to borrow in schools, targeted vocabulary, apps, links with libraries, book days, there’s literally hundreds.

My issue isn’t getting parents to read with their kids - I know how important that is. It’s that the diaries don’t do that.

Because it doesn’t do anything

Encouraging parents to read with their child isn't nothing.

Our DCs reading records get checked daily and the children are giving house points for how ever many times they've read.

This is where the system is really shitty. So the kid who’s parent couldn’t or wouldn’t do it, is penalised by not contributing to house points and everyone knows it. Points should be for things the kids have control over.

I find reading diaries useful in my capacity as a volunteer. It means I can chat with the children about what they’ve read, see what they’re struggling with and can spend more time with those who aren’t read with at home.

Here’s an idea. How about you just ask them what they have been reading and spend more time with the ones who struggle when you ask them to read.

@Hercisback

Because it doesn’t do anything

Encouraging parents to read with their child isn't nothing.

See above.

Sadly some parents don’t have the time between coming home from their first job and throwing tea down their kids throat and going to their second job and far from “encouraging” them to read to their kids, it is yet another reminder that others think they are failing their kids.

I was a teenage, single parent working and studying but I still made sure I had 10mins spare to listen to my child read even if it was on the bus or whilst I was brushing their hair after a bath.

Yes my child was at a disadvantage as I didn’t have as much time as other parents to sit and listen to them read but I completely agree that schools should be doing everything they can to encourage parents to listen to their child read and if a reading diary does that then they’re obviously a great idea.

It’s that the diaries don’t do that.

I've literally told you that my child's diary does. I'm a teacher and still need that reminder.... I won't be the only parent out there like this. My friends all say the same!

@BoredZelda

Sadly some parents won't read to their children

Sadly some parents don’t have the time between coming home from their first job and throwing tea down their kids throat and going to their second job and far from “encouraging” them to read to their kids, it is yet another reminder that others think they are failing their kids.

Sadly some parents can’t read to their kids.

Sadly some parents aren’t feeding their kids properly, can we expect a diary home to to list what they had for tea?

These diaries are performative at best. Those who won’t, wont, no matter how many diaries they have. Those who will, would do it no matter what. Those who are only doing it so they aren’t judged, probably are filling in the diary without doing the reading.

These diaries are performative at best. Those who won’t, wont, no matter how many diaries they have. Those who will, would do it no matter what

I disagree. It's a reminder. I count myself in that. Just because some pupils have parents who are not providing basics like food, or have poor literacy levels themselves doesn't mean we shouldn't even bother trying.