Feeling annoyed about school and need to rant!

[november90]

I'm sure most will read this and think I'm being unreasonable... maybe I am but I just need to vent!
My son is 4 and just started reception. Like most his age, suffered a lot due to the lockdowns etc and is having some difficulty adjusting to school. He is finding his uniform very difficult to wear as he doesn't feel comfy. It's mainly the pants. I put his issues with certain textures on his nursery transition form, i mentioned it on the pre school meeting, the home visit and also the phonics meeting 2 weeks ago. I just want assurance he's ok to wear his shorts which they have always told me he is. Anyway, dropped him off today and the teacher was really abrupt with me about wearing his pe shorts and not joggers... they way them to go into school wearing both at the same time. I felt so embarrassed and also annoyed.... why tell me one minute he's ok tk wear shorts but the next she wants the joggers and shorts?!
Also, the reading book annoys me. I made ds feel so proud about himself last week for doing a reading session everyday and he watched me fill the book out and when it got send home after being reviewed not so much a sticker or well done comment! Completely blank!
I've spoke to my family about this who say I'm expecting too much from school... but I just feel sad that we're like 6 weeks into school and o feel so distant from it all!
Anyone else have a new school child and feel the same? I know teachers are stressed and restricted due to Covid, but as a parent I'm finding it hard!

@Rosesareyellow he missed out on nursery, his play groups, socialising with children his age, swimming lessons, his gymnastics closed down, his favourite sensory play area closed down, his baby brother way born and we couldn't do the baby toddler groups we wanted. He missed out on a lot like most of the children did his age. I missed out on a lot of the things I wanted to do with him too. There's literally nothing wrong with acknowledging that his age group missed out on a lot and to suggest he didn't is ridiculous.

@InTheLabyrinth
In the last 2 lockdowns, nurseries did remain open, so did pre schools. I agree lots missed out on playgroups and trips out with friends but current reception age weren't the worst affected.

It’s not a competition. All age groups have missed out on ‘normal’ experiences.

@MrsKeats get a grip?! Crikey that's nice of you!
I work in the finance sector in the complaints department dealing with customers complaining all day long and I'm also a single parent with 2 children. I know what it's like to work under extreme pressure so I really don't need to be a teacher for a week 👍🏼

@TheGrumpyGoat I never once said it was a competition, if you read my thread when I've talked about my personal experience with my son and what I feel he's missed out on you will also see that I have noted as have many other his age. So I don't understand your comment.

[quote november90]@TheGrumpyGoat I never once said it was a competition, if you read my thread when I've talked about my personal experience with my son and what I feel he's missed out on you will also see that I have noted as have many other his age. So I don't understand your comment. [/quote]
My comment wasn’t aimed at you, it was aimed at those telling you your child hadn’t missed out! Apologies.

@Hercisback not all nurseries stayed open and from personal experience a lot had reoccurring closures due to isolating. So the fact that nurseries were allowed to stay open, doesn't mean they did.

My child had repeated isolations from nursery, however he still managed to go a fair bit of the time.

You need to lower your expectations of school. Nursery had a 1:8 ratio, school is more like 1:30.

Speak to the teacher again if you're concerned about the trousers.

@TheGrumpyGoat ahhh I'm so sorry for snapping.

Look guys I'm feel pretty attacked on this thread so I think I'm just gonna put an end to it because there's clearly not the support, conversation or understanding I'm looking for.
I don't expect people to understand my sons personal experiences or issues because this is just a web chat, but some of the replies here are pretty disappointing. But just a suggestion, if you come across a thread from a parent who is worried about her child or upset about something which you don't understand or relate to, comments like "get a grip", "let it go", "none issue" is just not helpful.

I think it is a big jump from nursery when you get a record of what they've been up to every day, to school where you don't get told anything really. But it is normal ime. My 2nd dc has just started school, we haven't had any homework or reading record or anything like that even given to us yet. It's early days still.

@Indecisivelurcher I was going to say that, there is a big difference between communication from nursery to school.

When DS started in reception I was a parent volunteer and would listen to readers and would write in their reading record. Most schools aren't allowing volunteers in school at the moment

@november90 I'm going to disagree slightly with everyone else. My dc went to a private school. In reception they were heard to read every day and a comment would be written in the book, and ticks, stars and stickers given frequently

[quote alrightfella]@november90 I'm going to disagree slightly with everyone else. My dc went to a private school. In reception they were heard to read every day and a comment would be written in the book, and ticks, stars and stickers given frequently [/quote]
Private schools have far smaller classes.

[quote alrightfella]@november90 I'm going to disagree slightly with everyone else. My dc went to a private school. In reception they were heard to read every day and a comment would be written in the book, and ticks, stars and stickers given frequently [/quote]
And you paid for the privilege. How many kids were in the class?

The reading book thing you do literally need to let it go and realise you had completely unrealistic expectations. I don't see why that is rude. You're the one with the 'wrongthink'.

The trousers, just clarify with the teacher. If it's his actual pants that are a problem, try another style. If it's the trousers, there are some stretchy style fabrics that are more like Joggers. What does your son usually wear in winter?

My dc went to a private school. In reception they were heard to read every day

Probably in a room with a 1:12 ratio of staff : students.

I felt same as you when my son was in reception, he’s year one now. I had all sorts of expectations of what school would be like and it was not the reality. They don’t want parents contacting them, they make out as thought they’re all “open communication” etc but it’s all bullshit, I always felt like a pest if I ever contacted the school about anything, just my experience, maybe not all schools are like this.

I don't understand how all these kids a few weeks into reception are already reading to the teacher Ds learnt 'a' today, as far as school are concerned! They're only a few weeks in. (He actually can read a bit but Dd couldn't at all when she started). Plenty of time for reading records.

My dc went to a private school. In reception they were heard to read every day and a comment would be written in the book, and ticks, stars and stickers given frequently

Private schools have MUCH smaller classes. They also don’t have the same curriculum as state schools to cram in, as they aren’t obliged to follow national expectations.

It’s maths. 30 x reception children. 1 x teacher, possibly a part time TA. Hearing each child read for say 7-10 minutes is 3-5 hours. Add on an extra 3 minutes per child to add comments/stickers etc and you’re looking at 5-6 hours. Add in covering all of the maths/phonics/other areas of learning that need to be covered, plus toilet accidents, plus injuries and fallings out, plus supervising snack time, plus time in the hall cutting up their food etc….you can see why teachers prioritise hearing the children read and giving them good quality verbal instruction over writing a comment in a book for a parent’s benefit.

OP, if you want a private school level of service then I suggest you go down that route. If you feel state schools should offer more then I suggest you think about campaigning for schools to be funded adequately by central government. The Tories in particular should have great fun explaining why budgets have been slashed year on year.

It's normal not to know much about school and a strange transition considering how detailed nursery is.

Yabu to expect reading record acknowledgment but yanbu not to know that there wouldn't be any. I would give your son a sticker yourself for reading every day and next time phrase your OP differently - ask if it's normal not to have in acknowledged rather than assume and bitch to people who know what to expect.

Over time it helps if your child is chatty and shares what he does all day or if you make friends with someone whose child tells their parent everything so you know what to ask your child.

EYFS curriculum has also changed so not so much record writing, as want staff to spend more time with children rather than continuously writing up evidence

In reception, a class of 18 with a teacher and two TAs so a ratio of 1:6

I was just saying schools can be like that.... But unfortunately you have to pay for the privilege.

Honestly OP I think it sounds like you are finding him going to school difficult, which is absolutely normal as it’s a massive change for both of you!
I promise you he is having the time of his life once he gets there!

As PPs have said it’s nothing possible for the teacher to write in their reading book it’s more to read to see how you’re getting on. You will have chances to chat to them at parents evenings and if there’s something in particular you’re worried about regarding his reading you can always put a question in his reading book and see if they reply but I doubt they’ll have time to do it every week.

Regarding the shorts I would definitely check this as it’s unfair if they’ve said one thing and now it’s changed. So maybe just ask them to clarify so you know for the future.

Late September/October is always the hardest time in school. After the October shift term you’ll both feel so much better and in a nicer routine.

PFB. You really need to chill

@november90

Aww well it's nice that a lot of you think these are none issues but at the same time it's not your child that is having sensory issues with their uniform so my child not feeling comfortable wearing his trousers and screaming about it for an hour in the morning is an issue for me. More so of an issue when the teacher told me on 3 occasions that it's fine for him to wear his shorts only for her to humiliate me in front of the other parents today by speaking to me extremely abruptly. Why say it's ok to then make out it isn't I front of everyone else? She's aware of the issue, never ever told me what they can do as a school to support him, just told me to send him in his shorts and it will be ok!

It's too cold for shorts some days. Would your child normally wear shorts in winter?