Someone said I stink

[Jen871]

This is more like a rant. When I'm doing the school run I wear the same clothes as I work 12 hour nights 8-8 and my son starts school at 8.45. I wear the same clothes to work because I work in a factory and I don't want to ruin good clothes.

The other day I was waiting for the teacher to open the door with some other parents, when I heard one of the parents say to the other that I stink. This annoyed me but I didn't say anything.

The annoying part is that these women don't work. They drop their kids off to school and then god knows what, they have no idea the 12 hour shift I've just done and how hard me and my husband work to be able to afford the luxuries we have.

I don't want my son picked on at school because parents are going around saying I stink. It's annoying as hell. I can't get changed after work because there just isn't time.

I really think these women are incredibly immature and not worth any of your time thinking about. That’s easier said than done of course.

You should be really proud of yourself that you work hard, all night, providing for your family. And you still make it to the school on time!

The only people who should feel ashamed are those petty people making the comments.

Buy some sweats and a jumper, , just strip and change before you leave work, it takes about 30 seconds, bag your clothing change your shoes and put it in the boot and just wash everything when you get home and shower.
It probably is your shoes that have meat on, but this way you should be Ok.

I think everyone commenting about personal hygiene has missed the point. You can be the cleanest person in the world but working in that environment you will pick up the odour and take it home with you.

The OP is coming straight from work to drop off her son, it's a two minute job and it's not as if she's off out down the pub for a pint in her working clothes. We've all got to do what works for us and who is anyone to stand and comment on someone that's clearly working hard for their family?

Keep your chin up OP and ignore them, clearly you are hard working and just doing the best you can. It's not as if they are in a confined space with you but to be honest I'd stay as far away from them as possible but not because you smell because they sound like bitchy people who you don't need to associate with.

I'm sure you know that you smell bad after a 12 hour shift of cleaning meat machines. I'm surprised you don't have something to change into straight from shift.

I used to clean out and disinfect dog kennels for a living so I would always finish a shift covered in dog shit and bleach. I didn't want it all over my car and I didn't want to walk into the house stinking so I'd change in the toilets before leaving. I was washing my work clothes anyway so it made no difference to throw a extra couple of bits in there.

Still, it is very rude of the other parents to comment. They sound childish. Ignore them.

Do you have to actually be beside the other parents? Could you just stay in the car and let your son out?

Your reasons are perfectly valid but it would be good to avoid getting remarks made.

I know this might sound odd but do you change your shoes?

I worked in a pub years ago & the smell just soaked into everything.

I could mostly wash it out of clothes but I ended up having seperate shoes for work because they stank of beer, spirits, cigarettes & pub food.

When I stopped working in a pub, I ended up binning those stinking shoes.
Nothing got the smell out.

Its rude for them to make the comment. However you now know what they think and have to decide whether you are OK with that (and it is clear that you do smell from the work you do )

I would pop into the loo, change as quickly as superman and rush your ds to school. Go home and have a good shower afterwards.
I would only do this for the sake of your ds to not be teased, not the rude, horrible parents.

OP please ignore all of these know it all arses who have commented things such as change your clothes quickly, spray oodles of deodorant, change your job, cut down on luxuries so you don’t have to work in the meat factory.

I have never heard such utterly egregious, pompous and downright snobbery of many of these posters. Yes, there may be a whiff, but it’s a damn sight better to smell after a night of hard graft that allows your family to have more opportunities, than to be a wrinkle your nose at anything slightly out of their experience for whom they seem to have an attack of the vapours at - shock horror! - the smell of hard work.

I’m sure you smell perfectly lovely after a shower or bath.

I know it’s a few years since I’ve been in the teaching trenches, but from experience it’s the children of those who turn their noses up or make loud comments at things outside of their business (most often about their fellow parents’ appearance or home situation) that, can anyone guess what I’m about to say next ladies and gentlemen?

Your children are the ones more likely to bully, pick on or exclude other children.

Children emulate the behaviour of their parents. Isn’t that a spooky coincidence?

And another thing. The yummy mummy cabal at the school gates who think it’s a perfectly middle class behaviour to have half a bottle of red in the evenings? We can smell it the next day.

The Jo Malone candles & designer perfumes, the cheeky spliff from Saturday night, the coffees and cassia body wash, the gin and the low carb diets and the traces of aftershave from a fellow parent that isn’t your husband, we can smell that.

And we are judging you too.

Except we the teachers, the parents who have been brought up to respect others, and teach their kids the same, we say nothing, because it the right and kind thing to do. Even if they’re not the things we like or turn our stomachs. Because it’s none of our bloody business.

I think there are many here who really need a bloody good word with themselves.

And if you don’t like someone who smells different to you, stand upwind.

OP you’re teaching your children the value of hard work. Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re doing it right.

@CentrifugalBumblePuppy

OP please ignore all of these know it all arses who have commented things such as change your clothes quickly, spray oodles of deodorant, change your job, cut down on luxuries so you don’t have to work in the meat factory.

I have never heard such utterly egregious, pompous and downright snobbery of many of these posters. Yes, there may be a whiff, but it’s a damn sight better to smell after a night of hard graft that allows your family to have more opportunities, than to be a wrinkle your nose at anything slightly out of their experience for whom they seem to have an attack of the vapours at - shock horror! - the smell of hard work.

I’m sure you smell perfectly lovely after a shower or bath.

I know it’s a few years since I’ve been in the teaching trenches, but from experience it’s the children of those who turn their noses up or make loud comments at things outside of their business (most often about their fellow parents’ appearance or home situation) that, can anyone guess what I’m about to say next ladies and gentlemen?

Your children are the ones more likely to bully, pick on or exclude other children.

Children emulate the behaviour of their parents. Isn’t that a spooky coincidence?

And another thing. The yummy mummy cabal at the school gates who think it’s a perfectly middle class behaviour to have half a bottle of red in the evenings? We can smell it the next day.

The Jo Malone candles & designer perfumes, the cheeky spliff from Saturday night, the coffees and cassia body wash, the gin and the low carb diets and the traces of aftershave from a fellow parent that isn’t your husband, we can smell that.

And we are judging you too.

Except we the teachers, the parents who have been brought up to respect others, and teach their kids the same, we say nothing, because it the right and kind thing to do. Even if they’re not the things we like or turn our stomachs. Because it’s none of our bloody business.

I think there are many here who really need a bloody good word with themselves.

And if you don’t like someone who smells different to you, stand upwind.

OP you’re teaching your children the value of hard work. Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re doing it right.

Love this. So true!

I'm not being funny but IF they say you smell , then you do.
Not personal body odour, but work smell.
Why when you real could just strip and stop this wouldn't you do it?
They won't give up on it, but the mud will stick and your child will suffer,.
Yes they are A*holes, but you know you smell, so they are only being truthful.

It was a rude thing to say and I totally understand why you feel upset. However, for your little boy's sake I would try to do something about it.

Would your boss allow you to start and finish 15 mins earlier than you currently do? Then you would have time to get home for a shower and change of clothes before drop off. I think it's worth asking.

Honestly some of these comments are mad.

OP can't just finish her shift earlier every day - even by 5 mins - so she can shower and change before dropping her son to school.

A job in a factory isn't like an office job where you can do a bit extra after hours/take a shorter lunch/do different hours if needed...if she's there, she's there 100% until the time she goes home. I am guessing every single person on OP's shift does the same exact 12 hours until the next shift arrives.

It's just a pain for OP because she doesn't have any wiggle room between finishing work, picking up her son and then dropping him to school. The best she can really do is have a quick spray and thrown on some new clothes if possible. If not, then just chuck a jumper on top and hope for the best.

There isn't really much she can do here at all as she genuinely doesn't have the time to shower. If a quick change is possible then I'd do that, but if not I would probably try and steer clear of the other parents, or speak to them to let them know I was coming straight from work.

In the morning, the other parents will likely be assuming OP is on the way to work, rather than on the way home from her shift, so I think it's definitely worth letting them know the truth.

They probably think she is just putting on dirty clothes which smell, and that's why they're commenting.

Not that they should ever be commenting, but the natural assumption in the morning would be that someone is on their way to work if they are wearing their work gear. Telling them the truth might help a lot.

Look forward to when their kids are teenagers and get jobs in Nandos, and their houses start smelling of transferred grease and chicken.

I am struggling to believe the nativity of some posters. I think 12 hour night shifts are common. Back in the day when I worked as an accountant in a factory, it was well known that the women working evenings/nights worked harder and were more productive. They needed their jobs, leaving the house when their husbands were coming in, to save on childcare. Part time day shifts were often the preserve of women who liked to get out of the house, earn some money but also catch up with friends/co-workers.

Real credit to you OP.

@CentrifugalBumblePuppy It's true that the judgemental attitude of those parents is awful, but ultimately if nothing is done the child will be bullied over this. It's not fair but it's the reality, and in my view it's more important to prevent that than to feel righteous and do nothing.

I used to be married to a butcher and sadly it's true that after a while even his freshly washed work clothes smelt of meat. On the rare occasions I used a tumble dryer the whole kitchen would smell of cooking meat. I think you need to keep a clean trackie and hoodie to change into after coming off work.

Those women are bitches to say this in your hearing but at least you know now.

I am slightly at some comments.
Surely shifts are 8pm- 8am and then the other shift is 8am -8pm. The factory will be set up like that to ensure it is sufficiently staffed. So it wont work properly if everyone wants to tweak their shift (on a daily basis) by 15 or 30 min.
And presumably if there was time and opportunity to "have a quick change and freshen up" as several people have suggested , OP would have already done it? Maybe there is a mixed gender staff room and nowhere suitable to get changed?
And change job? Again if there was a host of alternative jobs available maybe the OP would already be doing one?

If someone came straight from a shift at a farm, or a fish and chip shop for example I would expect them to smell and recognise that's a downside of their job.

@SeptemberSongs

I really think these women are incredibly immature and not worth any of your time thinking about. That’s easier said than done of course.

You should be really proud of yourself that you work hard, all night, providing for your family. And you still make it to the school on time!

The only people who should feel ashamed are those petty people making the comments.

This. 100%. What awful people.

Not sure if it's your style, but could you make passive aggressive comment like, 'wow, last year you were all clapping the essential workers...'

Agree it's their problem.

Maybe you could invite one for a tour of the factory...

I would just comment about having finished work and going home for a shower so people know why.
I often pick up from school covered in mud, soaking wet and smelling like a bonfire. I used to be embarrassed now I couldn't care less. If people are only bothered about appearance then they are not worth your time anyway.

I'd just make sure you make a bit more of an effort for things like parents evening, assemblies etc so people realise it is work outfit nit every day if you get my drift.

I'm on team BumblePuppy! Well said. 👏👏👏

@Jen871 really sorry you had to hear that, must have made you feel rubbish but you are absolutely not at fault here, they are. You obviously work really hard and from the sounds of your routine, there's no other way to do it. Lots of suggestions about having spare clothes etc on here so if you can manage any of that and it will make you worry less about it then great but ultimately this is their issue. Screw them for making snide comments.

They are arseholes but unfortunately, kids get bullied for less. Could you honestly not just give your hands and forearms a good scrub before leaving work and change into leggings and a cheap top then spray a body spray liberally beside getting out the car?

I'm sorry the other parents are so rude.

because they are privileged not to have to work, but not classy enough to keep their mouths shut?

Precisely!