Someone said I stink

[Jen871]

This is more like a rant. When I'm doing the school run I wear the same clothes as I work 12 hour nights 8-8 and my son starts school at 8.45. I wear the same clothes to work because I work in a factory and I don't want to ruin good clothes.

The other day I was waiting for the teacher to open the door with some other parents, when I heard one of the parents say to the other that I stink. This annoyed me but I didn't say anything.

The annoying part is that these women don't work. They drop their kids off to school and then god knows what, they have no idea the 12 hour shift I've just done and how hard me and my husband work to be able to afford the luxuries we have.

I don't want my son picked on at school because parents are going around saying I stink. It's annoying as hell. I can't get changed after work because there just isn't time.

You're probably used to the aroma, others aren't plus it's been incredibly hot of late.
If you're cleaning machinery then it's inevitable that particles of meat etc are going to be on your clothing.
Could you not change into clean stuff in your car before you leave for the school run?
Joggers and a tshirt or leggings?

"The Jo Malone candles & designer perfumes, the cheeky spliff from Saturday night, the coffees and cassia body wash, the gin and the low carb diets and the traces of aftershave from a fellow parent that isn’t your husband, we can smell that.
And we are judging you too."
Absolutely mental over-dramatic comment. Why would you judge someone over a Jo Malone candle? You can say it's understandable what OP smells like without going all Inspector Goole on us.

"Part time day shifts were often the preserve of women who liked to get out of the house, earn some money but also catch up with friends/co-workers" is this not also a hurtful generalisation?!

Yes of course they were being very rude and unkind.

However, I am a veggie; I don't go into butchers' shops and am repulsed by the smell if their doors are open. I avoid meat counters in supermarkets.

If you are very 'meaty smelling' I would try to keep away from you for the same reason.

All you need to do is change into a different T-shirt and trousers.

Not sure what the issue is.

I wish more people were telling each other they stank.

Also if it’s food related you would think they would have to provide protective clothing?

This can be helped. When you’ve clocked out, go to the toilet and change. Easy.

This is pretty disgusting OP, your clothes will be impregnated with tiny fragments of meat, which will be decomposing - you’re essentially a walking Petri dish of nasties.

You urgently need to fix this issue, can you move your start time even 5 mins earlier, so you can finish 5 mins earlier and at least change your clothes?

Just on the grounds of hygiene, as a parent, I would consider making a complaint to the school about it tbh. It’s really not ok. What if you brushed up against a child, or another person? Grim.

Just change into a tee shirt before you get in the car

[quote DirectionToPerfection]**@CentrifugalBumblePuppy It's true that the judgemental attitude of those parents is awful, but ultimately if nothing is done the child will be bullied over this. It's not fair but it's the reality, and in my view it's more important to prevent that than to feel righteous and do nothing.[/quote]
Why is this so accepted? That a child will be bullied, because of this?

I think schools need to do so much more about bullying - and make it clear that there's zero tolerance to it.

There's never been such a time when parents are 'up the school' about things that wouldn't have mattered or been considered bullying 20 years ago. We're so finicky about 'be kind' and an absolute plethora of really minor infractions and perceived slights, yet we can't stop bad-mouthing a woman whose clothes smell?

Something very wrong there.

@EIIa

Just change into a tee shirt before you get in the car

It's more than that, the smell will get into the op's hair too.

@GreenWillow

This is pretty disgusting OP, your clothes will be impregnated with tiny fragments of meat, which will be decomposing - you’re essentially a walking Petri dish of nasties.

You urgently need to fix this issue, can you move your start time even 5 mins earlier, so you can finish 5 mins earlier and at least change your clothes?

Just on the grounds of hygiene, as a parent, I would consider making a complaint to the school about it tbh. It’s really not ok. What if you brushed up against a child, or another person? Grim.

Well, I would not have put it so harshly, but that is why I suggested that OP makes this their employer responsibility. Anyone who works in a hazardous environment would be protected as mandatory. If the employer will not do it, then, they can go above them.

As already suggested, it does not look like any other methods except a full shower and wash of clothes can solve this problem.

It’s rude for people to comment, however going to school straight from dealing with food products doesn’t sound too hygienic. Are there chafing rooms at work? Could you not quickly change into clean joggers/ T-shirt/ flip flops?
I used to work in a smelly environment on my night shift and I would change before I went home and leave my boots in work as didn’t want to traipse human deitrius through my home and car

I don't know I mean you know that you stink, whether other parents point it out or not they and their kids that are waiting will all know that you stink. You have 2 choices really own the fact that you stink or change your clothes quickly. It is of course rude to point it out but they are all thinking it anyway, it is natural to notice unpleasant odors and how those odors are acquired doesn't change the fact that they still stink.

That's horrible of them - sorry for how they made you feel

I would second a bottle of febreeze in your locker or car, it will just take the edge off and make you less self conscious

@itsgrand

PLUMTREE *Earlier on I wondered why the op has to work there, can she not find a more congenial job during the day. Please don't shoot me down for asking that, I do realise jobs are hard to find in some places. I always lived in the London area where there were, and are, plenty of clean day time jobs.

In her place I think I would cut down on the 'luxuries', whatever they are. When my child was small, luxuries were few and far between and we just accepted it, were glad to be able to pay the mortgage and bills. A lot of others we knew were in the same boat at that time and we all had quite good jobs.

Finances generally do improve as time goes on, op.

In the meantime, make sure you are freshly bathed and hair washed, fragrant and pristine in clean clothes, when you go back to the school at pick up time. The fellow parents won't recognise you!*

I can't be sure if you are being sarcastic or if you are actually serious with this advice?

I was serious. It wasn't advice, just a couple of ideas. I am on the op's side!

If what I said was out of order, I apologise.

She shouldn't of said you stink at all. But maybe you could make time for a quick wash and change? Assuming you are going to come home and shower after school run anyway?! I have a heightened sense of smell and any form of body odour I can smell a mile off. Not that I would say this to someone in front of said person.

Also, you sound very judgey on the other mums too. I'm a mum who doesn't work for various reasons (mainly because my children have sen). My partner works but we aren't as you explain 😅 I don't sit around with the life of luxury every day just because I don't work.

I think you should challenge them politely if they say anything again. I wish you had done the first time tbh! Just say you have come from a 12 hour shift in a meat factory and don't have the luxury, unlike some, to pick up your DC straight out of a bubble bath.

Sorry to hear you experienced such rude people OP.

Where I live you get farmers, slurry transporters and all sorts at the school gate, some jobs aren't all odour free and nobody mentions it cos we know they've dived out of work to be there. It is the honest to goodness smell of vital hardwork and it's no wonder this country is struggling now EU migrant workers have gone home when people don't appreciate this.

If you turned up to a social occasion without freshening up that would be different (but people would still be rude to mention it).

I had a relative that worked in a food manufacturing facility in a similar role and sadly the smell really permeated their skin/clothing - they had separate clothes all the time but I remember walking past the clothes in their house and smelling their work clothes and often I could smell the food they worked with on their clothes.

It was quite pungent and really they hated it too as they felt it got right into their skin.

Personally I would do a quick loo trip as soon as I finished work and get changed - can you clock off 5 mins earlier? Maybe see if your boss could be a little understanding? I know it’s hard. Your job is hard and you work hard. My relative did too.

The school gate is a social occasion though, schools are a hub of the community and you are representing your family when you do the school run.

If someone rocked up with slurry on their clothes, I’m actually pretty sure that the school my DC attended would have had a quiet word with them, that’s really not on.

Rant away, basically you are pissed off about someone telling the truth 🤷‍♀️

Fwiw I would minimum change clothes, wash face and hands, spray some body spray over self including hair before doing school run, leave clean clothes by front door/in bathroom, I could probs do that in a minute after practice. I wouldn’t do the school run in the work clothes.

To add to my pp Dp works long hours as a manager in a factory! He works long hours and often comes home smelling funky. If he is on an early shift (leaving the house at 5am) he can be home to get the kids. He always gets dressed into clean clothes as he literally looks a state in his words 😅 . I appreciate you work nights which is harder but he hates going to school run in work clothes and 'stinky'.

Fuck me! I’m pretty privileged, particularly in recent years, but how can people walk this earth and think people in factory shifts could “surely” ask to leave 30 mins early to shower and freshen up? Or even 5 minutes early?
This thread has been a real eye opener and very depressing.

I taught immigrants, refugees and asylum seekers English, they were thrilled to get jobs and many got their first jobs working for a massive cake factory with ISO everything, Investors in People and awards from XYZ. It was a safe, not unpleasant place to work … and yet:

• these very poor students would pay to car share or get buses to the remote industrial estate in the middle of the night and be told to go home, there was no work for them that shift as they operated on a JIT production basis to meet supermarket demand
• they only employed on zero or fixed term contracts for periods just short of the time when significant employment rights would accrue and did not renew their contracts in case they gained employment rights.
• they couldn’t fuck off just a bit early to get to their Job Centre Plus mandated English classes or to pick up their children from school.

Other people work for much worse employers of course. At least most large factories obey the letter, if not the spirit of the law.

@GreenWillow

This is pretty disgusting OP, your clothes will be impregnated with tiny fragments of meat, which will be decomposing - you’re essentially a walking Petri dish of nasties.

You urgently need to fix this issue, can you move your start time even 5 mins earlier, so you can finish 5 mins earlier and at least change your clothes?

Just on the grounds of hygiene, as a parent, I would consider making a complaint to the school about it tbh. It’s really not ok. What if you brushed up against a child, or another person? Grim.

As a parent, I think this comment is truly awful.

@GreenWillow

The school gate is a social occasion though, schools are a hub of the community and you are representing your family when you do the school run.

If someone rocked up with slurry on their clothes, I’m actually pretty sure that the school my DC attended would have had a quiet word with them, that’s really not on.

Oh wait, you topped it with an even worse comment.