Someone said I stink

[Jen871]

This is more like a rant. When I'm doing the school run I wear the same clothes as I work 12 hour nights 8-8 and my son starts school at 8.45. I wear the same clothes to work because I work in a factory and I don't want to ruin good clothes.

The other day I was waiting for the teacher to open the door with some other parents, when I heard one of the parents say to the other that I stink. This annoyed me but I didn't say anything.

The annoying part is that these women don't work. They drop their kids off to school and then god knows what, they have no idea the 12 hour shift I've just done and how hard me and my husband work to be able to afford the luxuries we have.

I don't want my son picked on at school because parents are going around saying I stink. It's annoying as hell. I can't get changed after work because there just isn't time.

If someone rocked up with slurry on their clothes, I’m actually pretty sure that the school my DC attended would have had a quiet word with them, that’s really not on.

Would they also 'have a quiet word' with those that stink of cigarettes? I think I hate that smell as much as I would slurry..

You are obviously not being unreasonable to still be wearing work clothes at the end of your working day when you have to rush to be able to drop your son off.

Start a conversation next time you are there with someone. Tell them loudly that you have just finished your night shift and you can't wait to be able to get home and showered and get some sleep.

Lots of people have little empathy and don't stop to think about what could be going on in someone else's life.

Or next time if someone says something unkind simply say 'you wouldn't smell good either if you had just done a 12 hour straight night shift cleaning machinery'.

And by the way @GreenWillow, if OP is representing her family then she’s doing a great job. Someone who is willing to work hard in a job many would deem unpleasant so that she can provide for her DC. She’s showing a good work ethic. That’s the sort of family I’d be proud to be part of, not one who is judgemental enough to complain that another parent has come straight from a 12-hour shift at work.

Some smells are pungent. I worked in a shop in a farming area and some of the customers stank of slurry, pigs or the milking parlour. It's just the way it is. I hate that everyone is expected to never have stained clothing and must always look clean and smell of unnatural body sprays. It's a First World luxury. It's very rude of these women to comment. They need educating. Have you got a friend who could have a word with them about how you've come straight from work? Be proud that you have such a great work ethic, OP.

GreenWillow, collecting your child from school is not a social occasion - you might treat it as such but for many/most it is merely a practical necessity. You are clearly breathing more rarified air than the rest of the riffraff who are pragmatically going about their business not acting as a walking shop front to the family name.

Even a basic grasp of food hygiene tells you how offensive this is.

Would you be happy with, say a butcher rocking up at the school gate covered in blood? From a hygiene perspective, there’s not a great deal of difference, just that the impregnantion of cooked meat is not visible to the naked eye.

I do, however, agree with a pp that this is actually the fault of OP’s employer, not OP herself. Nobody should have to leave their place of work in this state.

@GreenWillow

Even a basic grasp of food hygiene tells you how offensive this is.

Would you be happy with, say a butcher rocking up at the school gate covered in blood? From a hygiene perspective, there’s not a great deal of difference, just that the impregnantion of cooked meat is not visible to the naked eye.

I do, however, agree with a pp that this is actually the fault of OP’s employer, not OP herself. Nobody should have to leave their place of work in this state.

It's really not that deep. She's not walking in with a blood soaked apron, it's just an unpleasant smell.

Some people don't understand other people's reality. I used to work full time and another mother didn't understand why I didn't take days off so I could volunteer for the PTA. She was a stay-at-home mother. I just could not do it with my very intense job, but she stared at me as if I were a horrible person. I knew people were going to talk about how selfish I was and I felt as if I were shrinking. But what could I do?

@annacondom

Some smells are pungent. I worked in a shop in a farming area and some of the customers stank of slurry, pigs or the milking parlour. It's just the way it is. I hate that everyone is expected to never have stained clothing and must always look clean and smell of unnatural body sprays. It's a First World luxury. It's very rude of these women to comment. They need educating. Have you got a friend who could have a word with them about how you've come straight from work? Be proud that you have such a great work ethic, OP.

Exactly this. GreenWillow - having the smell does not mean you have slurry on your clothes. Your ignorance is showing.

I get where you are coming from OP- many years ago I spent a hot summer working in a potted meat factory- in the days when potted meat was sold from big bowls and the assistant weighed out what you wanted. The hot potted meat was carried into the packing room and scooped into the smaller retail bowls by hand (literally- no utensils).
Although we wore overalls and a hat, you did smell by the end of the day.

No judgement here from me: you are working hard to provide for your family.

Anyone with an ounce of common sense knows it's not possible to "just leave work early", or that not everywhere has a staff changing room and showers.

So: practicalities- quick trip to the loos to stick on a clean t-shirt, lots of body spray?
Or stand up to the bullies- say yes, it's not pleasant having to work nights, but I do what I have to do.

GreenWillow

The school gate is a social occasion though, schools are a hub of the community and you are representing your family when you do the school run.
.........
No way is it a social occasion unless you are virtually mindless.

It's a hub of gossip and superficial tinkling laughter.

Neither does everyone live in a community.

Don't let the bastards grind you down.

I live up a mountain, we get bad winters with loads of snow and I was one of the few mothers that didn't drive so I had a huge fur-lined sheepskin coat. Now this thing makes you sweat like crazy but you feel no cold in it but due to its nature, it's practically impossible to clean too (certainly couldn't wash it daily although I did give it a blast with fabreeze).

Some people made comments about it smelling but frankly my comfort on the 30 minutes walking through the snow and 15 minutes waiting in the snow is worth more than the 2 minutes they spend bumping into me while doing the door dash from their nice warm car that they illegally parked at the gates to pick up their child.

wow, that's an old rant bubbling up because I haven't worn that coat in years (because unfortunately, I did let them get to me even though I haven't seen any of them since our kids moved schools).

@GreenWillow

Even a basic grasp of food hygiene tells you how offensive this is.

Would you be happy with, say a butcher rocking up at the school gate covered in blood? From a hygiene perspective, there’s not a great deal of difference, just that the impregnantion of cooked meat is not visible to the naked eye.

I do, however, agree with a pp that this is actually the fault of OP’s employer, not OP herself. Nobody should have to leave their place of work in this state.

Farmers rock up at our local school gates all the time. No one cares about the smell or their clothing. You are clearly coming from a place of privilege to make such comments.

In fact, it does seem that your employer should be providing you with facilities given the nature of your work.

It will take you all of 5 mins OP, surely you can spare that?

As for pp mentioning slurry- try living in a farming area! Slurry, silage, sheep all have a very distinct smell.
And no, farmers don't get showered and changed to do the school run!

averylongtimeago it was me that introduced that comparison and that the very point I was making - completely agree.

@averylongtimeago

As for pp mentioning slurry- try living in a farming area! Slurry, silage, sheep all have a very distinct smell. And no, farmers don't get showered and changed to do the school run!

That is just awful, after the utter nightmare of the pandemic, you’d think people would exercise a bit of common sense re zoonotic transmission.

A race to the bottom, on the point of hygiene, is the absolute last thing we need.

@TinnedPotatoesRock

wear overalls at work but mainly the smell just lingers because of what I've been doing. There's no blood or anything on my clothes, it's cooked meat I clean

Erm, sorry if I'm being thick but how do you clean cooked meat...and why does it need cleaning?

You don't wash the pan after you've cooked bolognese, no?

Hi OP. Could you not wear heavy cotton overalls to work, and have clean clothes on underneath or just ready to quickly change into? I wear the dickies ones to muck out horses, and they do work at stopping smells getting to your clothes underneath. They sell them online or in workwear shops. Also country shops like Mole country stores sell them. Just a thought...

@kateg27

Sorry but I'm with them. There is nothing worse than having to stand near smelly people. And there is just no need for it. Change your clothes at the end of your Shift, quick wash and spray. Takes a couple of minutes.

Sorry, I'm with OP.

There's nothing worse than people who, even whent hey know the circumstances, choose to prissy and judgemental.

Just go back and re-read OPs posts and then come back and let her know where she can find an additional hour between 8am and 8.45am. I am sure she will then immediately utilise it to shower and not have to use car seat covers and wander round smelling of her manual labout, 12-hour shift.

Couple of minutes‽‽ You obviously don't get shit stinking filthy when you work. OP will smell similar to an abbatoir worker and will require much more than a genteel dousing with spray to wash it away!

Thnking heads on - some of you!

OP! Could you have a quick chat with the class teacher? Let them know that you have overheard this and worry your DS will get some stick for it. They might be able to work it into a session at some point. Send a kid home telling his nice smelling mummy that some mummies don't smell so nice in the morning because they work smell night shifts - but that they are still lovely mummies!

Or just speak to them in the morning and tell them you overheard and wanted to let them know that it isn't catching....

That is just awful, after the utter nightmare of the pandemic, you’d think people would exercise a bit of common sense re zoonotic transmission.

A race to the bottom, on the point of hygiene, is the absolute last thing we need.

Oooh! It's a smell. And that's a paranoid stretch...

Lots of the deodorant, wet wipes, and fragrant types on here, just don't know what it's like to work in places like yours. and under your circumstances ,of little time to change clothes etc.. I would just ignore the people, who have a lack of understanding about some things in life, and those who make idiotic comments.

Or ask to change shifts so you do 6-6 or 7-7 for example to allow for a shower and change before taking your son?

The amount of blind privilege posters are displaying on this thread is eye opening.

Do none of you see the irony of wearing a mask for the school run/dousing yourself in hand sanitiser etc, yet rocking up covered with decomposing meat all over your body?