To think this was the worst mistake of my life

[Overthecamelhump]

Having a baby.

I fucking hate it. I have no life at all. Life is:

Wake at 6. Go to work.

Finish work. Collect baby from nursery.

Try to entertain baby for two hours.

Bath baby.

Get baby to bed after being head butted, having hair yanked, the skin on my neck yanked, kicked and punched.

45 mins to myself during which time I have to do some work.

Baby wakes. Settle baby.

2 hours sleep. Baby wakes. Spend two and a half to three hours getting baby back to bed.

Four hours sleep.

Baby wakes.

Try to get baby back to sleep.

Wake up for day at 6. Feel like a zombie. Repeat.

Poor baby. But yeah. Stupid thing to do.

It will get better. But I do think people often take a really low moment (like what, 5am when you’ve already been up all night) and catch you at it and say things like ‘well you clearly aren’t coping so THIS must happen’ - that’s not true.

Yes, I was a broken wreck then. But you get up, shower and get on with it because that’s what we do.

Also re the crying at night, have you ruled out reflux?

We do alternate nights now I am back at work. It is still shit!

I didn't read all the comments but I read all yours OP and I can really honestly sympathise. I felt exactly the way you do.

The only thing that helped me was co sleeping. I'm many ways it was just as bad as sleep wasn't fantastic. But at least I was laying down rather than the pacing, rocking and constant in/out of bed. and dd was comforted.

It does pass, but it doesn't feel like that for you right now

Yes it’s totally shit. Being kept awake and beaten up by a baby who just won’t go to fucking sleep…. Urgh. No wonder you’re feeling crap.
I used to fantasise about booking myself a room in the local travelodge and leaving DH to it for a night. Never did cos of funds but could you do something like that OP?

You poor thing, it is shit. I remember the hours spent trying to get DD to go back to sleep. I did controlled crying at 10 months when I went back to work, egged on by my mum going “when you were 6 months your grandma made me put you in your room and shut the door and not go back in all night and you screamed but she wouldn’t let me go back in and it worked”. What I did was 2 minute increments - put baby down, say shhh, shh, pat them and walk out. Set timer for 2 mins. At the end of 2 mins go back in, pat them, shhh, then straight out again and set timer for 4 mins. Then 6 mins. Do not pick them up/put lights on etc. DD cried for 7 minutes and then fell asleep and slept for 5 hours. I was astounded. I tried it on DS at 8 months less successfully - I think he was still too young. So even if you’ve tried before, it might be worth giving it another go, because your baby might have reached a point where they can respond to it differently. I’ve been told before that this approach is cruel but it’s a lot less cruel than the old-fashioned just leave them to cry approach, and mothers need sleep too!

Hopefully once the baby starts sleeping through the night you will feel a bit better. It's so much harder to deal with things when you're exhausted

I haven't read all the pages, but I suggest you find out when he naps during the day. If he naps after 4pm, then he will definitely wake up at night time. Nap time should be shortly after lunch, then he can be awake during the afternoon/early evening.

I havent read all comments, but as a mother of 2 with only 15 months between them I understand how dificult it can be, however if im honest it gets harder (differnt probems - mine are now teenagers). You need to get the sleep issue sorted, sleep deprevation is literally toruture, the world feels a different place when well rested. Everyone will offer you different advice, what worked for me was sleep training. My babies learnt to self settle and slept throught the night, unless of course they were poorly. I know differenrt parenting treands come and go but thugh sdleep trainign can seem a bit hrsh it does work. By the time my second baby came long when I had the then 15 month old, she learnt really quicky that I just couldn't be there everytime she wimpered, and guess what she was a really easy baby and slept really well. Good luck!

I have no suggestions, only sympathy. It's completely shit. Sleep deprivation is a method of torture for a reason.

it is shit. my youngest is nearly 11 and I still look back on those days with a grim shudder. It wasn't PND, just my own offspring subjecting me to the kind of sleep deprivation they use to break unsatisfactory military recruits.

I will offer a teeny piece of unsolicited practical advice which you are free to bin off and hate me for. When we sleep trained the first of my two evil non-sleeping babies we took the dummies away at the same time, as dummy loss was one of the reasons for waking. Basically the dummy had gone from friend to foe and I needed rid to save my sanity and my job. Would have done the same with non-sleeping baby number two, but that one was a thumb-sucker.

@TheTurn0fTheScrew

it is shit. my youngest is nearly 11 and I still look back on those days with a grim shudder. It wasn't PND, just my own offspring subjecting me to the kind of sleep deprivation they use to break unsatisfactory military recruits.

I will offer a teeny piece of unsolicited practical advice which you are free to bin off and hate me for. When we sleep trained the first of my two evil non-sleeping babies we took the dummies away at the same time, as dummy loss was one of the reasons for waking. Basically the dummy had gone from friend to foe and I needed rid to save my sanity and my job. Would have done the same with non-sleeping baby number two, but that one was a thumb-sucker.

Oh yeah regarding the dummy, my son had one for a few days but we took it from him for that very reason. He stopped waking so much after that

Feel for you op, night dread is AWFUL!
It really does get better around 12 months! Hang in there. My little boy still wakes when teething etc and until around 12 months, he was up at the same hours as you're saying.
He's now 14 months and goes through until 4am most nights (except teething as i say)

Do you bf? Even if you don't, could you bed share on a floor bed? This is honestly what saved my sanity in the end as we never had to physically get up and it made it easier for DS to go back to sleep faster.

Hoping it gets easier for you soon!

You poor thing, you are exhausted and no wonder. Mine are teenagers and I don’t have a magic solution for you. You only have one problem and that’s sleep deprivation, simple as that, it’s the just getting back to sleep again and been woken again, over and over. It’s torture and no wonder you are angry and exhausted. Baby will sleep through eventually but huge sympathy to you in the meantime.

Oh to be honest that made me crack a genuine smile it was quite funny.

I actually find the advice a bit harder, I know it is really well intentioned but you end up saying ‘well we’ve tried a dummy / no dummy / not napping after 4 / the lights are never switched on / tried gradual retreat / howling at a full moon / doesn’t work’ and then people get all shirty with you and it makes the thread pretty horrible.

I think we can all agree that @NoVegPlease is a bit of a knob

People who aren't teachers don't get how you can't take time off.

It's utterly shit existing on little sleep. BUT there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep going, it gets better, honestly

@ShuddaBeenMe

People who aren't teachers don't get how you can't take time off.

It's utterly shit existing on little sleep. BUT there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep going, it gets better, honestly

Do we know OP is a teacher? Would a teacher be able to MN for the morning session?

And Teachers can take sick leave? Which is what is needed here for OP to obtain help. I think the "very black thoughts" need a chat with the GP.

Give it a rest Razor. Yes, I’m a teacher. No, I’m not sitting on Mumsnet while my class watch Bitesize. No, I’m not going to outline exactly why I’m on Mumsnet at the moment.

I am finding your comments quite upsetting you know.

And I will repeat. You cannot get a GP appointment round here.