Any1 notice others are uncomfortable with breastfeeding toddlers?

[Sophie1029734]

I have an 18m old who breastfeeds. She needs it to sleep, may wake up thirsty for some milk, feeds multiple times in the day. It's her desicion to stop, whenever it happens I'll be happy she got to choose when.

I've become so disentised from boobs and sometimes find myself saying to family, think she wants some boob. I dont think about what I'm saying, im just so used to it. But for some reason it makes people so uncomfortable now that she is a toddler and not a baby.
For example, we were at her nans and she was walking around and said mamma boo boo. Everyone jumped in to say, no she said baby and wanted her doll. When the breastfeeding convo comes up, everyone's chatting about when they stopped etc I'll just make convo and say yh.. ill let her decide when to stop and the room goes silent. If LO mentions the word boob the room goes silent. A topic they didnt mind has become something that makes them uncomfortable and sometimes disgusted, I see it all over their face. My family couldnt care less and actively tell me it's an amazing thing, yet none of them were able to breastfeed and those so uncomfortable with the topic did or have watched close family do it.
Anyone else notice others become uncomfortable with you breastfeeding because your child is a toddler?

@FortunesFave

I know it's good for them but because we don't live in a third world country, it's also unnecessary. By 18 months children need solids and no longer need milk...they can have cow's milk and gain all the nutrients they need from that.

Loving relationships aren't dependent on breast feeding.

You'll get shot down but I agree with this. Mothers choice but still. People will have thoughts

DS1 used to say 'side' when he wanted breast milk, because of the running commentary from me - ie 'right let's switch you to the other side now'

My youngest turns 2 later this month, is still very reliant on breastfeeding, and I get the exact same vibes from majority of my family and friends.
Most of them either formula fed their children or breastfed only in the early weeks, so breastfeeding a toddler is not something they are used to seeing or hearing about. That doesn’t make it ok for them to make the backhanded comments, but I do see why it makes them feel weird - fear of the unknown and all that

@Boshmama

Imagine thinking it’s normal to feed your child milk made for and from a different species but not human milk.

Utterly archaic views on this thread. OP you are doing the absolute best for your daughter and your own health - keep on boobing (LOL) and to hell with the naysayers.

I mean, it is? Unless you're vegan and don't drink cows milk yourself- or do you drink your own milk instead?

90% of the people replying on this thread haven’t breastfed. This always happens on MN whenever someone tries to put up a post on bf / asking for bf support - it gets hijacked by formula evangelists

Actually I did. I found out word when my daughter got to a bit over one, myself, and stopped.

For me it's not the milk, it's the feeding directly from my breasts, after a certain point she felt too old for it. I'd have no problem giving expressed breastmilk.

Sure, you can say it's my issue being uncomfortable with toddlers bf, but nobody is actually stopping any mother from doing it. I was judged by some people (though mostly praised). Didn't bother me, because it was right for us at the time. Any extended breast feeders need to put on their big girl pants because yes, some people will have different views to you. Ignore them if you must.

Most people wouldn't let a four year old use a babys bottle. No reason why they shouldn't. But hardly any do. And when do you stop 4 or 5 or even older.

@Viviennemary

Most people wouldn't let a four year old use a babys bottle. No reason why they shouldn't. But hardly any do. And when do you stop 4 or 5 or even older.

I work in a nursery and that’s not true. A lot of formula fed 3-4 year olds are still using bottles (in fact the vast majority of formula fed kids in my nursery do despite multiple warnings to parents to ask them to stop) - but it’s just easily concealable because they only do it at night / for naps / at nursery.

@Hoowhoowho

I have low supply and breast hypoplasia. I breastfed with formula in an SNS at the breast for 8 months with my youngest (who’d never take a bottle) and she’s still breastfeeding at nearly three.

I breastfed with an SNS for 15 months with my son until he self weaned. Breastfeeding goals and adequate feeding of babies are not in conflict even in cases of extreme low supply.

Lord, I've never even met another woman who knew what an SNS was! I used one with formula for two months with DS, before eventually giving up, as I never produced more than a tiny amount of milk, despite seeking advice from La Leche League, a lactation consultant, my GP, a NCT BF clinic, HV, having blood tests to check for out of what hormones etc etc -- I'll admit it was a miserable experience, as I also have inverted nipples so had to use nipple inverter/cup things as well, which had to be taped on with the SNS tubes, which meant that settling down to a feed was incredibly cumbersome, and very difficult to do outside the home.

I was incredibly sad about not being able to BF for years, despite knowing I had given it my best shot.

So, to those of you who are breastfeeding older children out and about, if someone is staring intently at you with a weird expression, it might be me, and if it is, I'm just, really admiring and envious and still a bit sad I wasn't able to. Despite the fact that the baby in question is now nine and fabulous.

I did read of a nine year old still being breastfed........aren't you glad you stopped when yours was one, SeriouslyISuppose?

@FortunesFave

I know it's good for them but because we don't live in a third world country, it's also unnecessary. By 18 months children need solids and no longer need milk...they can have cow's milk and gain all the nutrients they need from that.

Loving relationships aren't dependent on breast feeding.

Weird how in nature, goats don't give their young cow's milk, and sheep don't give their lambs donkey milk.

Why give a human baby the milk of another animal when we can make it ourselves?

@EishetChayil to be fair animals don’t go to work or need others to look after their young so they can pay the bills. So not comparable really.

@FortunesFave but breastmilk is milk and so much healthier than highly processed formula and cows milk designed for calfs not human babies. It's a sign of how far removed from natural human feeding ppl have gone op. I live in ireland and I believe we have one of the lowest rates of bf in Europe, I never see anyone bf their babies here, on my ward post 2 of my babies all the new mothers were bottle feeding.
Your baby is 18 months , it's totally normal op.
My DC all bf until that age and I definitely noticed the health benefits, you will get pro formula ppl downplaying these but its science and fact that they get protection from illnesses, lowers chances of certain diseases, less prone to obesity later in childhood, bf always exposes babies to different tastes as its not a uniform flavour etc etc etc. It helps shape the babies jaw properly, these points are all proven and scientific. My children didn't get half as many illnesses as my friends babies who were formula fed and on a population level this is also a fact that bf babies get less illness on average.
In fact if you get an virus while bf your milk will make antibodies to protect the child against that exact virus which is amazing.

I also worked and paid our bills while bf up to 18 months, its absolutely possible to do it mornings/evenings

@cantbeforeal

What a sad world we live in where people think it's 'weird' to breastfeed a toddler. The WHO recommend breastfeeding until 2 so how the heck can it be weird to breastfeed an 18 month old

You need to remember that the who plays to lowest common denominator, so they are advising third world countries where access to sterile supplies is limited and breast feeding is the safest option.

That’s not as true for first world countries where many women do have access to safe supplies.

The truth is this isn’t about sex, it’s about cultural norms, and it’s culturally normal and predominantly accepted to breastfeed babies. Once a child is walking, talking and with teeth, eating solids , it’s very uncommon. And the hard benefits are arguable. The soft benefits in terms of comfort etc are based on the individual child, and let’s face it the mother, whose desire to continue sometimes is paramount to them.

But as yet there is no proven hard health benefits to prolonged breastfeeding in a first world country thay are known. And if anyone takes the time to read even the benefits to babies are questionable. I think one study has shown it may ward off an ear infection or so in primary but that’s about it.

So yes, it’s normal to breastfeed babies, the benefits are likely mainly soft, the milk is designed for the child but when we move to children who are walking taking feeding themselves and eating solids it’s not common and the benefits are mainly soft Ie comfort etc for the child, and often for the mother too.

@Abitlost2 the science says the benefit is negligible.

It is there - but very very small. I’m not being mean about bfing, it’s still a good thing to do for many reasons, but to make out the benefit is in any way noticeable is really misleading.

Some kids are naturally healthier than others, you can’t say with any certainty it’s because of how they were fed. I’ll see if I can find that thread on here where this was discussed anecdotally with interesting results.

Found it! Here it is

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/3616907-Mothers-who-have-both-FF-and-BF-children

I am vegan actually! Became vegan once I started breastfeeding and realised how bloody weird and unnecessary cows milk is. If adult humans were meant to drink milk we would continue lactating last natural weaning age (between 4 - 7 years old)

And no, I don’t drink my own milk obviously! There is no need. I have oat milk if I fancy something ‘milky’

Some PP will love me then. I BF DD until nearly 3, she used to call it babby, BF in public too. Oh and we, gasp, co slept!!

Find British attitude to BF weird. I don't care how other people choose to feed their kids so don't understand how people can get the ick when others choose to do one of the most natural things in the world which is BF until at least 2 yrs as recommended by WHO.

Literally breasts exist to BF!

@Ionlydomassiveones

Beyond a certain age it’s unnecessary to breast feed a child and a parent’s job is to help a child ultimately become independent. Weaning is the start of that journey. If you still kept them in nappies or gave them teething rings beyond that developmental stage people would find that weird too.

Exactly right!

Natural weaning age can be anywhere up to them losing their milk teeth (clue is in the name....)

If OP were talking about a 9 year old then I wouldn't be here giving you sarcasm....

Well we must have read very different papers and I don't take anedocatal evidence. A relative of mine has smoked heavily and drinks regularly for over 60 years, she's in absolutely great shape in her late 80's, is never ill, obviously she's not a good person to base certain conclusions re toxins on. I look at evidence on a population level and scientific facts.
Even if I didn't know anything about it of course milk that made by a human for a human baby which contains antibodies is way healthier than processed cows milk, it's basic knowledge! No amount of online links is going to disprove that absolute fact.

@Fashionesta

Some PP will love me then. I BF DD until nearly 3, she used to call it babby, BF in public too. Oh and we, gasp, co slept!!

Find British attitude to BF weird. I don't care how other people choose to feed their kids so don't understand how people can get the ick when others choose to do one of the most natural things in the world which is BF until at least 2 yrs as recommended by WHO.

Literally breasts exist to BF!

I love you (but not ironically) breast fed and co slept until 3.5ish with mine.

They don't really remember it now. But I always make sure to smile when I see mums BF toddlers as MN frequently reminds me what small minded boob phobes there are around.

@Abitlost2

You say you don’t take anecdotal evidence but you just used your own kids as ‘evidence’?

And you’re saying studies can’t disprove a fact that you’ve come up with lol

I think you need to reboot your brain today and start again

I'm breastfeeding a 2.5 year old and it absolutely is good for them! The WHO would agree with me.

Not just for nutrition but for their immune system, for preventing childhood obesity and for the physiological benefits. It's skin to skin contact which generates a lot of bloody oxytocin and it's so comforting for them!

People are uncomfortable about things they don't understand very well.

Perhaps there aren't any strong medical benefits of breastfeeding but it certainly isn't harmful so what's the problem? The only negative i can see is other people finding it "unnecessary" which is pretty weak. If it was actively harmful I could understand people having an issue, but at worst it's neutral.

@HungryHippo11 you’ve basically summarised my entire opinion on the matter!

There are no downsides, but the health benefits are tiny. So basically it’s just a harmless habit. However everyone says it’s either needy/yucky, or massively overhype the nutrition side of things and make out it gives eternal life